The Godmother I

a

I  ACT  PLAY  

By 

Nicholas Conti

  A Brief Frolicking Fashionable             Family Farce!                        

THE GODMOTHER I

 Copyright 2003

by Nicholas Conti

All Rights Reserved

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Cast of Characters 

The Godmother-Gabriel Gabby, Bruno     

Head Capo [Boss]. Rough woman with  heart…40’s-60’s 

Big Tool, Tulio Talese                                  

Big swarthy, tough guy… 30’s-50’s.

Tiny the Toad Facio                                     

Slight, oily, man [Mob Soldier] 20’s-40’s. 

Henrietta the Sage, Bianco                          

Mob Consiglieri [adviser], woman 30’s-50’s.       

Sally the Figure, Principessa                      

Gabby’s niece & Voluptuous-Designer- Capo [Boss] 20’s-30’s.                                                                                 

Jerry the Twister Ciaro                              

Tough-old-school Mob Capo [Boss], male  40’s-60’s.

Scene: The Godmother’s office at mob headquarters.  Mulberry St. NYC…

Time: The present.  [Fall]

“The Godmother I”

Setting:

A private 3 story brick building on Mulberry St., on the lower east side of Manhattan. Downstairs is devoted to office space; this is the office of the Godmother. The first of her kind but with a different Philosophy.  The office is tastefully decorated in Early-Italian-Pizzerian [restaurant] era style: phony marble, palm plants, a mural of southern Italy adorning the wall.  A large desk occupies the center of the room with multiple chairs around as if she holds many organizational meetings (she does). Simple One Unit Set. 

At Rise:

The GODMOTHER is seated at her desk going over some papers.  A bottle of Chianti sits on her desk, a small glass of wine next to it. To her left a door leads to her Zerox machine; a staple in her gang.  Only the office makes up the one unit set. 

        Quiet is destroyed when Big Tulio drags in Tiny the Toad Facio who is  cowering as Tulio pushes him through the doorway.

Tulio

Here he is GODMOTHER, the rat himself.  I caught him red handed selling marijuana to some kids by the school.

Tiny

He don’t know nuthin! I was just talkin’ about the weather to dese kids and askin’ about their mothers whom I know cause I went to school wit them.  And Mr.Big Tulio here grabs me by the arm; almost twists it off.  And  then embarrasses me in front of dose nice kids…Then drags me over here like a common criminal. Me wit a busy workload, tryin’ to do my rounds makin’ money for the organization…

GODMOTHER

Tulio make sure what you say is the truth because you know how I hate anyone of my people dealin’ drugs.  I just don’t believe in this rotten drug thing and none of my boys better get caught selling…especially to kids.

Tulio

I swear on my mothers Persian cat that I caught him in the act…Saw him pass the stuff and take the money. To make matters even worse, I caught him wit it on him…plus the money.

GODMOTHER

Is this true Tiny the Toad?  If it is! We hold a council meeting on you and 

Ba-da-ba-ba-da-bing!…It’s Buffalo, for you.

Tiny 

That’s a joke right? Buffalo ha ha ha… how are you gonna get me to Buffalo?  the Bronx maybe… but Buffalo…ha ha ha…

Tulio

I wouldn’t laugh if I was youse, what do you think happened to Muscle Head Mangiamo when he was foolin’ wit Tough Tony’s wife? It was a regular slow boat to Buffalo, New York…Home of the 12 foot blizzard!

GODMOTHER

Compliments of  the brothers in our upstate Mafia organization…And guess what…He never gave us no trouble after that…I know it’s hard for you old timers to get used to the new ways in which I run the business but you better!…Because what I say goes…If you don’t like it you’re outa here paesano…out!

 Tulio

GODMOTHER tell me again how you’re changin’ the Mafia…Turnin’ over da new leaf as it were, so to speak.  I like to hear dem plans, what did youse call it? The refor…refor…what tha heck!…something or otha.

GODMOTHER

Big Tool Tulio my faithful lieutenant, it’s called “The Reformed  Mafia.”  We still do the innocent looking stuff like the numbers racket, the loan sharking, the racetrack and sports betting…because those are things that benefit the community.

Tulio

Yeah, you said we are a public service organization…that’s us…Yeah!

Tiny

  Yes!…I like our new logo too…crossed loaves of bread  with a shield made of cannolis…It has class.

GODMOTHER

Don’t try to butter me up Tiny!…Where you’re going, you better drop your old ways and your Bronx accent. And learn to talk the kings English, as they do upstate and be glad, in the old days…you’d be a dead man …not walking either; swimming downstream in the East River or in a dark hole near a quiet stream in the Catskill mountains…in beautiful and scenic upstate New York.   

Tiny

 GODMOTHER, if I promise to go straight will you rescind this action against me?…I’ll even do public service like the movie stars do that go wrong and overdose on drugs or shop lift…I know…I could maybe spend all my Sundays…when I normally go to church, serving in the soup kitchen taking care of my unfortunate and destitute brudders and sisters. During the week even; I could serve on the soup kitchen, and run errands for all the little, old, Italian, widowed ladies on Mulberry street. I would be a regular Sir Gallahad, a prince Robin Hood of Central Park. But not Buffalo…give me a break…I can’t stand temperatures under forty and I hate Football and all that ice and snow, mama mia!…I much prefer the concrete and tarmac of New York. [Let it build, and wax poetic]. The tall sky scrapers of the city, the sights, the gay lights, the sounds, the aromas of fine ethnic cooking…Where you can eat Italian, Thai, Chinese, Spanish cuisine, not  Diner food all the time, all the time; though there is nothing wrong wit Diner food!…Please GODMOTHER! [On his knees] I beg of you!

GODMOTHER 

 Off your knees! Enough already! You have sinned and must have a trial…a Council to determine your fate. Tulio roundup the Consigliere, Harriet the Brain and our top Capos…Jerry the Twister and Sally the Figure.  They ‘re up stairs in a meeting. Let’s find out what they say about this Tiny the Toad Facio. (Tulio exits D.R.)  Why did they ever call you Tiny the Toad anyway?

Tiny                   

[Lays it on]. Because your GODMOTHERSHIP, when I was small I had polio, and every Christmas we used to watch The Christmas Carol on TV with that poor, poor kid Tiny Tim who couldn’t walk…and me, bein’ as I had Polio…well…they decided to call me Tiny.

GODMOTHER

[Facetiously]. A heart warming story Tiny!…What about the Toad part…  why the Toad?

Tiny

Because as a little, little tike I used to ride the subway uptown to Central Park and look for toads in the Park…[Lays it on]…I felt so sorry for them GODMOTHER…all alone in that big park that I would rescue them and take care of them till they died.

GODMOTHER

What a touching tale Mr. Tiny Tim; pretty soon the three Scrooges will walk through that Door and then we’ll put in a call to our Buffalo friends and you’re off to the snow country…off to the land of Christmas past where you’re lucky to find any toads.  

Tiny

Godmother I promise, no more selling the junk.  I’ll be a good soldier from now on.

GODMOTHER

I wish I could believe you, but it doesn’t look good Mr. Toad.

                      [Tulio, Consigliere Henrietta, the 2 Capos: Sally & Jerry enter D.S.R.].

GODMOTHER         

           Tulio, that was fast…[To those that entered] Ciao! everybody, grab some seats!…Henrietta the Brain our adviser or Consigliere, over here next to me!  I want to treasure every word you say; your words and advice are so profound…Sally the Figure Principessa; Queen of the dress trade on Seventh Avenue. You sit on the other side of me! I need your creative input on this subject…which I value…And your insight is especially valuable to me, because as you know she just happens to be my niece.

All

           [Bored enthusiasm] ………..  Yes we know!

GODMOTHER

           Thank You! And our very distinguished Jerry the Twister long time Capo or Mob Boss; in case you younger members forget our terms. Who is  invaluable to me for his coolness of spirit, strength and his intellect.   Now let’s get this Tiny the pain in my you know what; a one way ticket to  Buffalo…(Snide) Of course be fair and objective…He has been accused of peddling the stuff and to kids no less…for a made man [accepted into the mob], he brings a bad name to the organization.

Henrietta 

Godmother what are the charges and the proof of the crime that this perpetrator has committed? 

GODMOTHER

           Let’s let our hair down and address each other as people!  Henrietta your hair is beautiful, whaaat did you do to it?

Henrietta

           Oh! I’m so glad you like it Godmother.  I was afraid you wouldn’t.  I have a new hair-stylist, he charges a little more but he has some reputation with the uptown crowd. 

GODMOTHER

           Oh honey ! You have to give me his name after the meeting…And now everybody no need for formality here, except from Tiny the Toad the terrible perpetrator. Another words call me Gabby; I like that…Wait! Wait! First of all, you know something’s been botherin’ me…our dress code which I devised with the help of my Niece Sally the Figure and Henrietta the Brain. The consensus is…that our guys don’t look that sharp on the street.   

Tiny

           Begging your pardon your GODMOTHERSHIP… But I always do my best to look cool and well dressed when I’m on business for the mob.  Always with the smart outfit on…I’m into leather now, looks great on me, if I do say so myself…And I………[Jerry by now has him by the throat].  

GODMOTHER 

           Thank you  Jerry for sparing us of anymore of that diatribe from the Toad.   Now back to the subject. We should be representatives of our organization, neighborhood, and spread goodwill; right girls? [They nod]. So even though we have the dress code; people are totally ignoring it…  Tell’em again my niece, how nice they should dress and how they should comport themselves.

Sally

Well during the week when on pickup and making the rounds with the numbers, bet taking and the like. It is acceptable to wear designer casual ensembles from the Mob’s Principessa line, so you look good and promote our product at the same time.  If working on the weekends, especially Sunday, an appropriate Dark suit; blues, grays, browns will be acceptable with dress shirts, ties and shoes from our line of course. 

Tulio

What did you say about hats?…I like a nice skull cap or macho baseball cap, usually my favorite team, Yanks, Mets,  whatever. 

Henrietta

In the by-laws for Mob Fashions it is written that…skull caps, pullovers, and baseball caps are acceptable if wearing casual, Principessa wear.   For more formal wear, a bare head, fancy cap or even a leather fashioned, broad brimmed hat; which I might add is quite the rage.

 Tulio

 Thank you Henrietta.   

GODMOTHER   

            Sally that outfit you have on is just the right length, not too décolleté and  the color oh the color goes with your eyes and is perfect for your skin.  Oh I wish I had your good taste.

Sally

            Oh Gabby!…You always know how to make a girl feel good. 

GODMOTHER 

You deserve it with your exquisite taste.             

Jerry

 [Rises…Declares agitatedly.]

Excuse me ladies, getting back to our new dress code. Sally, Gabby, Henrietta when our guys are in rough neighborhoods or workin’ the docks, construction or waste removal sites,  they can’t go around in no designer this or that; otherwise they are gonna get mugged or worse and that’s not good for our image…Am I right or am I right? [Sits]

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