ICHABOD CRANE AND THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN

A Musical for Children

Based on “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” 

by 

Washington Irving

Adapted for the stage 

by 

Donald J. Leonard, Jr.

Music and Lyrics 

by 

David Reiser

Cover Art 

by

Muecke

Ichabod Crane And The Headless Horseman

 Copyright 2004  © 2004

by  Donald J. Leonard, Jr, and David Reiser

All Rights Reserved

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CAST OF CHARACTERS

ICHABOD CRANE:  Tall, and exceedingly lanky schoolmaster.

KATRINA VAN TASSLE:  Charming coquette, eighteen years old.

BALTUS VAN TASSLE:  Katrina’s wealthy, “soft-hearted” father.

DAME VAN TASLE:  Quietly authoritative Dutch farmer’s wife.

BROM BONES:  Burly country lad known for his brawn and acts of arrogant mischief.

THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN:  Legendary specter believed to be a fictitious superstition. *

VILLAGERS OF SLEEPY HOLLOW:  An ensemble consisting of 6-8 singing actors who can dance (an equal amount of men and women should be cast including one or two children).

* NOTE:  The role of THE HEADLESS HORSEMEN should be portrayed by the actor portraying Brom Bones.

PROLOGUE - The Village Square in Tarry Town.

(As houselights slowly dim to black, the main curtain opens and the stage lights are brought up to full.  We see a small ensemble of townspeople costumed as colonial villagers and merchants.  They are posed in tableau style in front of an eight-foot book upon the cover of which clearly reads, “ICHABOD CRANE AND THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.”   The book is lit from behind to give it an eerie glow.  Except for the book and the ENSEMBLE MEMBERS.  The stage is completely bare.  The ensemble slowly comes to life, one by one reacting to one another. 

We see a WENCH who is selling pints of ale smile at a MALE PATRON.  There is CANDY SELLER whose attentions are distracted by the BUXOM WENCH.  A SMALL CHILD grabs a handful of candy from the seller’s tray before being slapped by its TALKATIVE MOTHER.  The TOWN PARSON is present as are THE VAN TASSELS, and BROM BONES.  The individual ENSEMBLE MEMBERS break the imaginary “fourth wall” by stepping DS to speak directly to the audience.  Once the ENSEMBLE MEMBERS have finished speaking, they resume their original place in the tableau.)

MALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (Candy Seller)

Back in that time of early American history when the city of Manhattan was a Dutch market town, within one of the enormous coves along the shore of the Hudson River, there was a small village called Tarry Town

SONG # 1 – “TARRY TOWN” (ENSEMBLE)

TARRY TOWN IS A VERY MERRY TOWN

WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY DOWN–

TO-EARTH WHO NOW YOU’LL MEET.

THEN AFTERWARD WILL FOLLOW

THE TALE OF SLEEPY HOLLOW–

PREPARE FOR A SCARY TREAT!

(BALTUS)

I’M BALTUS VAN TASSEL, A FARMER OF REPUTE;

I GROW WHEAT AND BARLEY AND VEGETABLES AND FRUIT.

I SELL EGGS AND CHICKENS AND MILK AND CHEESE AND MEAT;

I’M THE SUPPLIER OF EV’YRTHING WE EAT.

(Spoken)  And wealthy, too!

(KATRINA :)

AND I AM HIS DAUGHTER, KATRINA IS MY NAME.

I’M SELFISH AND SPOILED, BUT FATHER IS TO BLAME. 

BECAUSE I’M PRETTY, HE LETS ME HAVE MY WAY,

I TAKE ADVANTAGE-WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY?

(Spoken)  Well, wouldn’t you?

(DAME VAN TASSEL-Gesturing to BALTUS:)

I’M MISSUS VAN TASSEL, HIS POOR, HARDWORKIKNG WIFE.

FROM MORNING TO EVENING I TOIL AWAY MY LIFE.

BUT WHEN WORK IS OVER AND I CAN CATCH MY BREATH,

I TELL HIM GHOST STORIES THAT SCARE HIM HALF OT DEATH!

(Spoken:)  Serves him right!  (BALTUS laughs)

(BROM BONES:)

BROM BONES IS MY NAME, I’M THE BULLY OF THIS TOWN.

IF YOU DARE TO CROSS ME, I’M SURE TO KNOCK YOU DOWN!

OF ALL THE YOUNG LADIES, KATRINA I PREFER;

SO IF YOU ARE SMART YOU WILL STAY AWAY FROM HER!

(Making a fist he says:)   Wanna fight?

(ENSEMBLE)

TARRY TOWN IS A VERY MERRY TOWN,

BUT SOMETIMES IT’S A SCARY TOWN

THAT FILLS OUR HEARTS WITH DREAD.

WE ALL GO INTO HIDING

WHEN  INTO TOWN COMES RIDING

THE HORSEMAN WITHOUT A HEAD!

AND SO, IN CLOSING, WE WISH

THAT YOU WON’T BE TOO SQUEEMISH,

‘CAUSE IF YOU’RE BRAVE ENOUGH TO HANG AROUND,

BEWARE OF TARRY TOWN!

FEMALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (Buxom Wench).

This name was given to the town by local housewives whose husbands would tarry about the village tavern on market days.  Not far from this village, however, there was a little valley among the high hills that was hidden by trees.  This quiet glen was given the name SLEEPY HOLLOW because of the dreamy influence that seemed to hang over the land.

MALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (The Parson).

According to legend, Sleepy Hollow was inhabited by spooks.  The people who lived there often told stories about haunted spots, strange sightings, and twilight superstitions.  But the most-talked about spirit of this region, was a ghost known as the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.

(There is a brief pause as lights slowly dim while two ENSEMBLE MEMBERS on either side of the giant book slowly open it to reveal a scrim, behind which we see in silhouette, 

ICHABOD CRANE, who is reading a book, and carrying a stuffed handkerchief tied to the end of a very long stick.)

FEMALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (Old Woman).                         Into this valley called Sleepy Hollow, there came a schoolmaster by the name of Ichabod Crane, who arrived late one autumn afternoon.  He came from Connecticut for the sole purpose of instructing the small children of Sleeping Hollow.  He was tall with narrow shoulders, long arms and legs, and a skinny neck.  To see him on a windy day, one might mistake him for a scarecrow who had escaped from a nearby cornfield.

(The book closes as ICHABOD CRANE steps out from around the book and walks downstage towards the audience.  The ensemble reacts with mixed emotion at the appearance of the new schoolmaster.

SONG # 2 “TARRY TOWN” REPRISE

ICHABOD

I’M ICHABOD CRANE– A TEACHER’S LIFE IS ROUGH.

I’M THIN ‘CAUSE AT DINNER I NEVER GET ENOUGH.

IF THEY’D EVER PAY ME EXACTLY WHAT I’M WORTH,

I’D SOON BE THE HEAVIEST PERSON ON THE EARTH!

(Spoken:)  Does anyone have a spare sandwich?

(ENSEMBLE– To Audience:)

TARRY TOWN’S NEW SCHOOLMASTER

SOON IS BOUND TO MEET DISASTER

WHEN THE SOUND OF HOOFBEATS FILL THE NIGHT.

(ENSEMBLE– To ICHABOD:)

WE REALLY MEAN TO SCARE YOU;

IT’S BEST THAT WE PREPARE YOU

FOR SOMETHING SO FULL OF FRIGHT.

WE KNOW THIS FEARSOME CREATURE’S

ESPECIALLY ROUGH ON TEACHERS,

SO IN THE EVENING WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN,

TAKE CARE IN TARRY TOWN!

(The ENSEMBLE now disperses in all directions as ICHABOD crosses downstage to talk directly to the audience.  TWO ENSEMBLE MEMBERS carry the book offstage in one direction, while two more ENSEMBLE MEMBERS bring on several wooden benches and a desk.  Several children enter and seat themselves upon the benches.  They are seen holding small slates or schoolbooks.  One child is wearing a dunce cap, and is seen seated by himself in a corner.)

SCENE 1- The Tarry Town school house & church

ICHABOD

As I walked down the main street of the village, the townspeople were astonished at the sight of their new schoolmaster, but they soon found out that I did my work well.   (He crosses to the schoolhouse.)  The schoolhouse where I taught my students to read, write, and appreciate fine poetry, was a small one-room building constructed entirely of logs.  The schoolhouse stood just at the foot of a woody hill, with a brook running close by.

(ICHABOD sets “hobo pack” down on desk and dismisses several of the students by ringing the school bell placed on the desk.  The children leave almost immediately.  One waves goodbye to ICHABOD).

ICHABOD

When school hours were over, I often became friends with the older students, and would even walk some of the smaller children home.  (As an aside to the audience) especially if they happened to have pretty sisters or mothers noted for their cooking.

(ICHABOD escorts the remaining students D.R., where the TALKATIVE MOTHER awaits the return of her child with a freshly-baked pie for ICHABOD.  She pantomimes kissing the child’s forehead then the child exits right with other children.)

(She then presents pie to ICHABOD with a smile.  ICHABOD smiles, then exits happily with the pie as the MAIN CURTAIN closes.)

FEMALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (Talkative Mother)

According to country custom in those parts, Ichabod stayed at the homes of the farmers whose children he instructed.  He lived with each family for one week, and then made his rounds of the neighborhood with all of his worldly goods tied up in a large cotton handkerchief.  Ichabod often found favor with the farmer’s wife by amusing their children.  He would sit for hours with a child on his knee rocking a cradle with his foot.  (She exits as BALTUS VAN TASSEL enters)

BALTUS VAN TASSEL

Ichabod assisted the farmers occasionally in the smaller duties on their farms such as mending fences, taking the horses to water, and cutting wood for the fire.  Ichabod was also the singing instructor of the neighborhood, and increased his weekly salary by teaching young people to sing.  On Sunday mornings, he led the church choir, and with a group of chosen singers, he completely diverted everyone’s attention from the Parson’s sermon when he sang.

(The MAIN CURTAIN now opens to reveal ENSEMBLE MEMBERS seated on benches.  ICHABOD’s desk is replaced with a wooden pulpit behind which is seen the near-sighted OLD PARSON, C.S.  ICHABOD stands proudly amongst his students, dressed in a choir robe.  We see the church from a side view so that all ENSEMBLE MEMBERS can be seen as they react to ICHABOD.  At first, all ENSEMBLE MEMBERS look completely bored by THE PARSON’s sermon.  Perhaps one of the young boys hurl something at ICHABOD with a homemade slingshot.  Some women fan themselves, some men groan, BALTUS keeps falling asleep.)

PARSON (Reading slowly from the Bible)

”Happy is not the man who walks in the ways of the wicked.

Gather not in darkness but in the light of Heaven.

Give up your anger, and cast thy wealth aside.

Do not be like sheep led astray,

Hear and receive these words:

Walk the straight forward path

But do not forsake wife and child.

Follow the one whose heart is pure.

Clean thine heart, and withdraw from shadows of the night.”

Heed these words.

(There is a moment of silence as THE PARSON looks around proudly.  There is no reaction. We hear a loud snore from BALTUS VAN TASSEL.  THE PARSON looks around to see where 

 the sound came from.  ICHABOD immediately begins singing. The congregation almost  responds immediately; the sleeping men awaken, the anxious children become still, some women coo and sigh at ICHABOD as he leads his “choir” in song.)

SONG # 3 – “SALVATION”

(NOTE:  The underlined words in the song designate where the choir and congregation sing)

(ICHABOD)

IF YOU DON’T MEND YOUR WAYS

THE DEVIL’S GONNA GET YOU;

HIS ANGER WILL BESET YOU

WHEN THE DEVIL COMES TO GET YOU!

IF YOU DON’T MEND YOUR WAYS

THE DEVIL’S GONNA GET YOU

AND TAKE YOU DOWN BELOW!

SALVATION, IS JUST FOR THE ELECT.

SALVATION, RPENT OR YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT!

IF YOU DON’T MEND YOUR WAYS

THE FIRE’S GONNA BURN YOU,

NOW, DOESN’T THAT CONCERN YOU

THAT THE FIRE’S GONNA BURN YOU?

IF YOU DON’T MEND YOUR WAYS

THE FIRE’S GONNA BURN YOU;

RIGHT UP IN FLAMES YOU’LL GO

SALVATION, YOUR SINS YOU CANNOT HIDE,

SALVATION, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS HAVE TO BE YOUR GUIDE!

IF YOU WANT TO BE SAVED

THE GOOD BOOK YOU MUST FOLLOW–

YOU FOLKS OF SLEEPY HOLLOW,

IT’S THE GOOD BOOK YOU MUST FOLLOW.

IF YOU WANT TO BE SAVED

THE GOOD BOOK YOU MUST FOLLOW;

EACH CHAPTER YOU MUST KNOW.

THE DEVIL’S FIREY SWORD

OR HEAVENLY REWARD–

THERE IS ONLY ONE DECISION I CAN SEE.

SO SALVATION,

SALVATION,

SALVATION IT WILL BE!

BLACKOUT.

SCENE 2- The Woods just outside Sleepy Hollow

(A FEMALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER steps forward and is seen in the spotlight downstage right.)

FEMALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (The Wench)

Ichabod was held in high regard by the women of Sleepy Hollow.  Especially since it was a known fact that Ichabod had read many books about ghosts and the supernatural.  No tale was too horrible for him to listen to.  Some days, after school had been dismissed, Ichabod could be seen sitting beside the brook behind the schoolhouse reading books about witchcraft, sometimes for an entire afternoon.

(Another ENSEMBLE MEMBER steps forward and is seen in a spotlight D.L.)

MALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER

On his way home at night, every sound excited Ichabod’s imagination.  In situations like this, his only source of retaliation was to sing a song to either drown himself in thought, or to drive away evil spirits.

(ENSEMBLE MEMBERS exit.  ICHABOD has entered during the previous dialogue, and is now seen as lights come up onstage D.C.  He is dressed in his normal schoolmaster attire.  We hear sound effects of hoot owls and crickets, as ICHABOD begins to walk into the audience as house lights come up to half and sound effects continue.)

ICHABOD (Reacting to sound effects)

What was that?  (Turning around)  Who’s there?  (To himself)  Oh, it is probably just the wind.  (To audience)  What are you doing here?  Why are you looking at me that way?  Don’t you ever get scared?  Aren’t you frightened in the dark?  Do you feel scared when you are all alone?  Well, what do you do?  (Sound effects stop)

SONG # 4– “ ARE YOU SCARED”?

(ICHABOD:)

WHEN YOU HEAR A LOUD SCREECH IN THE NIGHT,

ARE YOU SCARED, ARE YOU SCARED?

DO YOU PRAY BY THE DAWN’S EARLY LIGHT

WHO’LL BE SPARED?  ARE YOU SCARED?

WHEN YOU WALK PAST A GRAVEYARD DO YOUR LEGS MOVE FASTER

FOR FEAR ANY MOMENT YOU’LL MEET WITH DISASTER?

WHEN GHOSTS COME TO HAUNT ARE YOU LIKE YOUR SCHOOLMASTER:

PREPARED?  OR ARE YOU SCARED?

HAVE YOU WONDERED WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED?

HAVE YOU LOOKED?  HAVE YOU DARED?

DO YOU LIE THERE AND TREMBLE INSTEAD,

AND BE SCARED, AND BE SCARED?

DO YOU TRY NOT TO SLEEP ‘CAUSE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WAKE

YOU’LL BE GOBBLED BY GOBLINS OR SLITHERY SNAKES?

DON’T YOU KNOW IF YOU WORRY SO MUCH IT WILL MAKE

YOU GRAY-HAIRED?

SO DON’T BE SCARED.

THE SOLUTION IS SIMPLE YOU SEE;

IF YOU FEAR YOU’RE A SLAVE.

YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE LIKE ME–

AND BE BRAVE, AND BE BRAVE:

‘CAUSE WHEN GHOSTS COME TO HAUNT ME I JUST HOLLER, “SCAT!”

AND IF THEY DON’T START RUNNING I KNOCK ‘EM ALL FLAT!

ONE MORE THING I MUST TELL YOU, DEAR CHILDREN–

(We hear the sound effect of one hoot owl)

(Spoken:)  What’s that?

(ICHABOD looks around nervously as the sings:)

I REALLY MUST DEPART

I HOPE YOU TAKE TO HEART

THIS LITTLE BIT OF WISDOM THAT I’VE SHARED.

BUT NOW I’LL BID ADIEU,

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO;

I’M FAR TO BUSY TO

BE SCARED!

(ICHABOD exits running as lights fade to complete BLACKOUT)

SCENE 3- The hearth of a local townswoman and the Tarry Town marketplace

(The MAIN CURTAIN opens and as lights come up to half onstage, we see an ENSEMBLE WOMAN seated by a fireplace roasting apples. She is an Old Dutch farmer’s wife who believes in every known superstition.  The fireplace is adorned with several Dutch symbols believed to ward off evil spirits, and boughs of garlic and other herbs hang below a shelf over the fireplace opening.  There is an empty chair across from where the OLD WOMAN sits stoking the fire.)

FEMALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (Old Woman).

Another source of great pleasure for Ichabod was to spend long winter evenings by the fireplace listening to tales of Old Dutch wives who spoke of ghosts and goblins, haunted fields and brooks, and in particular, tales of the Headless Horseman!

(ICHABOD has now entered from offstage and is ushered to an empty seat by THE OLD WOMAN who proceeds to pour him a cup of tea from the teapot warming inside the fireplace.  She takes a cup from inside the mantle and hands it to him as he speaks.)

ICHABOD

I would delight the ladies in turn for their kindness with stories of witches and strange sounds heard in the air on particular evenings when the moon was full.  The women would sit spellbound while roasting apples on the hearth.

(THE OLD WOMAN gets up from her chair and hands ICHABOD a roasted apple and an “omen bag” to ward off evil spirits.  ICHABOD kisses her hand and waves goodbye as he crosses downstage. The MAIN CURTAIN closes behind him.)

ICHABOD

The women would feed me in appreciation for my fascinating stories, and they would always send me home before the stroke of midnight, giving me extra food and cures to ward off evil spirits.

(LIGHTS come up in the house as KATRINA VAN TASSLE enters through the audience from the back of the house followed by her father, BALTUS VAN TASSEL. KATRINA  is dressed to the nines, and carries with her a fancy parasol decorated with lace.)

ICHABOD

I fascinated most of the women of Sleepy Hollow, but the one girl who really caught my eye was Katrina Van Tassel, the only child of Old Baltus Van Tassel, the wealthiest farmer in the county.

(ICHABOD’S jaw drops as KATRINA crosses to the stage)

KATRINA

Katrina was a blossoming eighteen year old.  She was fresh and as rosy-cheeked as one of her father’s peaches.  She was well-known for her beauty, and for her reputation as a flirt.  There was no doubt, that the fair Katrina was the richest prize in the countryside.

(Several VENDORS have gathered onstage in front of the closed MAIN CURTAIN.  The VENDORS proudly display their wares.  KATRINA crosses to each VENDOR and points out the items she likes, and BALTUS buys them for her, handing the selected VENDORS a gold coin.  This continues until the end of the song when BALTUS’S money bag is completely empty.)

SONG # 5– “MARKET MELODY”(VENDOR # 1:)         

LADIES’ DRESSES—SATIN—LACE

(VENDOR #2:)

POWDERS, ROUGES FOR THE FACE.

(VENDOR #3:)

SHOES AND SANDALS,

(VENDOR #4:)

DIAMONDS, PEARLS;

(ALL VENDORS:)

LOVELY THINGS FOR LOVELY GIRLS.

(KATRINA)  (Traveling from vendor to vendor as she sings:)

FATHER, OH, FATHER, PLEASE BUY THIS RING FOR ME!

AND ALSO THIS NECKLACE; IT’S PRETTY AS CAN BE!

I’VE SIMPLY GOT TO HAVE THIS DRESS,

THE MATCHING SANDALS, TOO!

IT’S JUST THAT I MUST LOOK MY BEST,

DEAR FATHER, FOR YOU!

(KATRINA continues to select items as BALTUS travels from vendor to vendor paying merchants for their wares.)

(BALTUS:)

HOW MY KATRINA LOVES TO BUY THINGS;

SHE’S NOT CONTENT JUST TO TOUCH  OR TRY THINGS.

I’M VERY RICH BUT CAN  I TAKE IT?

SHE SPENDS FASTER THAN I MAKE IT!

(ALL PREVIOUS VERSES ARE SUNG IN COUNTERPOINT, ENDING WITH THIS:)

(VENDORS:)

WE SELL. . .

(KATRINA)

I BUY. . .

(BALTUS:)

I PAY. . .  (BALTUS SHOWS EMPTY PURSE TO AUDIENCE)

(ALL:)

WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN TODAY

IS HOW WE MANAGE OUR ECONOMY

IN OUR MARKET MELODY!

(The VENDORS all exit happily as KATRINA sorts through her purchases.  BALTUS crosses to KATRINA and talks to her briefly in pantomime.)

SCENE 4 In and around Tarry Town

BALTUS (Turning to audience)

Katrina’s father, Old Baltus Van Tassel, was a contented, big-hearted farmer who was satisfied with his wealth and the style in which he lived. His farm was situated on the banks of the Hudson River, green and fertile valleys filled with trees and bubbling streams.  His barn was home to pigs, geese, ducks and plums, and his fields produced a great assortment of grain and vegetables. Van Tassel provided well for his family.  

(BALTUS VAN TASSEL exits SR with the gifts he purchased for KATRINA.)

ICHABOD (While looking at KATRINA)

Whenever I thought about Katrina’s father’s farm, my heart would begin to beat faster for Katrina, the girl who was to inherit all of this.

KATRINA (While flirting with ICHABOD)

The ever-ambitious Ichabod decided to win my heart, so that soon all my father’s money would be his.

SONG # 6– “KATRINA”

(ICHABOD:)

YOUR LIPS ARE LIKE CHERRIES, RED AND SWEET,

SO ROUND,  SO FULL, SO FUN TO EAT.

YOUR EYES, LIKE BLUEBERRIES NO MONEY COULD BUY,

THAT TASTE SO LUSCIOUS IN A PIE.

YOUR SKIN’S LIKE A PEACH, SO SWEET WHEN MADE

INTO A BATCH OF MARMALADE.

YOUR CHEEKS ARE LIKE APPLES, SO ROUND AND SO FIRM,

WHOSE INSIDES NEVER SAW A WORM.

YOUR HAIR IS LIKE WHEAT IN YOUR FATHER’S FIELD,

BENEATH THE SKY SO SUNNY.

BY FALL IT SHOULD BRING HIM A HANDSOME YIELD;

AND EARN YOU LOTS OF MONEY!  (He rubs his hands together)

YOUR TEN LOVELY FINGERS, LONG AND WHITE—

OH, HOW I’D LIKE TO TAKE A BITE!

OR NIBBLE YOUR EAR—OH! FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE!

I’M GETTING A HUNGRY TUMMY-ACHE,

‘CAUSE EV’RY THOUGHT OF YOU, MY SWEET,

REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING TO EAT!

(On the last verse, ICHABOD has gotten so carried away with himself, he envisions KATRINA as a dish of food.  At the end of the song, KATRINA offers ICHABOD her hand to kiss, but in his over-excited state, he bites it instead.  KATARINA, in turn, hits ICHABOD in the head with her parasol.  The MAIN CURTAIN now opens to reveal several male admirers who have gathered to present gifts to KATRINA.  One of the admirers steps forward as KATRINA breaks away from ICHABOD.)

MALE ENSEMBLE MEMBER (Admirer)

Every path to Katrina’s heart was heavily guarded by a host of admirers. But Ichabod was confident that he would soon overshadow the attentions of all these simple country bumpkins.

(BROM BONES enters)

BROM

Among all of Ichabod’s competitors, I was the one rival most worthy of fear.  My name, Brom Bones, was known miles around for the feats of great strength I performed and for my great skill as a horseman.  I had a reputation for being a prankster, and I was always ready for a fight or a brawl.  But, with all my overbearing roughness, deep down inside, I was a gentle guy full of light-hearted good humor.

(BROM turns to KATRINA’S ADMIRERS and scares them off with a “BOO!”  or “ROAR!”, then laughs as all but ICHABOD drop their gifts and exit hurriedly.  BROM then proceeds to pick up the discarded gifts and present them to KATRINA, who is busy primping and flirting with BROM.)

KATRINA

The townspeople of Sleepy Hollow looked upon Brom Bones with a mixture of awe, admiration, and good will.  When any mad-cap prank or rustic squabble occurred in the neighborhood, people usually shook their heads saying that Brom Bones was responsible.

SONG #7– “PEOPLE ALWAYS WONDER WHY I’M MEAN”

(As BROM begins to sing, he crosses D.S. followed by KATRINA and ICHABOD who react with mixed emotion:  KATRINA melts as if BROM’S song were a love ballad he is singing just for her.  ICHABOD, on the other hand, reacts in disgust at the thought of the song’s visual imagery.  The MAIN CURTAIN closes.)

(BROM:)

PEOPLE ALWAYS WONDER WHY I’M MEAN

BUT THEY DON’T DARE TO ASK ME TO MY FACE.

WHEN I COME INTO VIEW,

THE FIRST THING THAT THEY DO

IS SEE IF THEY CAN FIND A HIDING PLACE.

PEOPLE ALWAYS WONDER WHY I’M MEAN.

MY REPUTATION’S NOT SO GOOD, THAT’S TRUE.

BUT THERE’S A SIDE OF ME

THAT PEOPLE NEVER SEE;

THEY’D BE ASTONISHED IF THEY ONLY KNEW!

IN SPRING I SIT FOR HOURS

AND SMELL THE PRETTY FLOWERS

AND LISTEN TO THE LITTLE BIRDIES SING.

SO VERY GENTLY I

WILL HOLD A BUTTERFLY

WHILE CAREFULLY I’M PULLING OFF A WING!

PEOPLE ALWAYS WONDER WHY I’M MEAN.

I’D TRY TO SHOW AFFECTION IF I COULD.

BUT WHEN I GIVE A HUG

I CRUSH ‘EM LIKE A BUG–  

I GUESS I’M JUST TOO STRONG FOR MY OWN GOOD!

SOME FOLKS DON’T THINK IT’S RIGHT

THAT I SHOULD ALWAYS FIGHT:

I CAN’T SEE WHAT’S SO WRONG WITH THAT.

‘CAUSE BEATING UP ON GUYS

IS HOW I EXERCISE– 

NOW, TELL ME, WOULD YOU WANT ME TO GET FAT?

PEOPLE ALWAYS WONDER WHY I’M MEAN;

WHY I CAN’T HARNESS MY HOSTILITY;

BUT BEING MEAN, I GUESS,

IS WHAT I DO THE BEST–

THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE THAT I CAN SEE.

SO BEING BAD IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!

KATRINA

Brom had for sometime singled me out as the object of his romantic intentions.  Other men would have cowered away in fear of Brom Bones, but not Ichabod Crane.

(BROM tries to frighten ICHABOD by advancing towards him slowly with a menacing look as if he is going to tear him up into a thousand pieces.  ICHABOD crosses to KATRINA, who is now D.L.  ICHABOD is C.S. between BROM and KATRINA. As BROM advances closer and closer to ICHABOD, KATRINA drops a lace handkerchief she pulls from her bosom, in an attempt to anger BROM further.  BROM swings his clenched fists into the empty air above ICHABOD, who has stooped to retrieve the lace handkerchief.  BROM falls forward and trips over ICHABOD who has now quickly spun around sniffing the perfumed handkerchief. ICHABOD hands the handkerchief  back to KATRINA, who blushes, then crosses right, tripping BROM on the way. KATRINA giggles.  BROM is now ready to pulverize ICHABOD, but is stopped by KATRINA, who instead, loads his open clench-fisted arms with packages left by the admirers and leads him offstage. BROM glares at ICHABOD as he exits.)

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