FAIRY TALES ON TRIAL
Book by Judy Wolfman
Music and Lyrics by David Reiser
Fairy Tale Justice
Copyright 2010
by
Judy Wolfman
All Rights Reserved
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FAIRY TALE JUSTICE
Cast of Characters
THE FAMILY
LITTLE GIRL Sweet, loves stories – both to hear and to tell. Costume – nightgown or pajamas.
FATHER Loving, kindly, attentive to his daughter. Costume – pajamas with a bathrobe over them; bedroom Slippers.
MOTHER Sweet, loving, also attentive to her daughter. Costume – nightgown or pajamas covered by a bathrobe; Slippers.
COURT ROOM
BAILIFF A dignified, well-spoken person, in charge of the Courtroom. Costume – dark trousers, white shirt with tie.
GUARD Does his job well, but tends to get easily sidetracked. Costume – dark trousers, dress shirt with tie.
JUDGE Very professional and authoritative, good listener. Costume – black robe.
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
MAMA PIG Sweet, but annoyed that her sons have lived with her so long. She’s anxious to have them leave, but trying to hide this feeling. Costume – house dress, pig’s ears and curly tail.
GUS A bit lazy, wants everything the easy way. Not too sure of himself. Costume - dark pants (knickers), colorful shirt, colorful vest, pig’s ears and tail.
JOE Not quite as lazy as Gus, but still doesn’t want to work too hard. A little surer of himself, and a bit brighter. Costume – dark knickers, colorful shirt, colorful vest, pig’s ears and tail.
AL Very sure of himself, smart, hard worker. Costume – dark knickers, colorful shirt, vest. Pig’s ears and tail.
1st SALESMAN Fast talking con man. Costume - a loud outfit – mismatched colors and design.
2nd SALESMAN Glib tongue, alert, picks up on things fast. Costume - a bright, colorful outfit, but not mismatched.
3rd SALESMAN Meek, mild, soft spoken, mannerly – almost apologetic.
Costume - a matched outfit with quiet colors and rather drab.
WOLF Cocky, practical joker. Easily angered but able to control his temper. He’s more subtle and mischievous – not really trying to be harmful. Costume – baggy pants, T-shirt, suspenders. Should have wolf’s features – ears, busy tail.
THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF
TROLL Serious, easily upset and reacts in a rather volatile manner. Costume – dressed like a bum – ragged clothing, tangled hair, dirty shoes with holes in them.
LITTLE GOAT Swaggers when he walks – tries to act “cool”.Costume – hippie attire - flare pants, colorful shirt, beads. Goat ears, tail and small goatee.
MEDIUM GOAT Also swaggers, with a little heavier step than the little goat. A bit cocky and sure of himself. Costume – hippie attire – jeans, fancy shirt, beads, goat ears, tail, goatee that is a little longer than his brother’s.
BIG GOAT Very sure of himself; almost arrogant – heavy-footed, deliberate steps, cocky. Talks tough. Costume – leather jacket, fancy shirt, beads, goat’s ears, tail and longer goatee than his brothers.
THE THREE BEARS
GOLDILOCKS Sweet, innocent young thing. Costume – simple dress, sneakers.
PAPA BEAR Strong character – quick to get upset and react to things but manages to gain control. Costume – trousers, shirt, bear’s ears, nose and tail.
MAMA BEAR Typical mother figure – concerned about her family. Tries to keep everyone happy. Costume – housedress, bear’s ears, nose and tail.
BABY BEAR A bit of a wimp. Has a great imagination. Is easily upset and quick to cry. Costume – shorts, T-shirt, bear’s ears, nose and tail.
ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS FORMING A JURY COULD BE ADDED
SCENE 1: SUZY’S BEDROOM
(AT RISE: Lights come up on SUZY’s bedroom, Stage left - early evening. She is
sitting up in bed. Her father stands next to her, holding an open book of fairy tales in his hands)
FATHER
And the three little pigs never saw WOLF again. (He closes the book) Now, Suzy, it’s time for you to get some shuteye.
SUZY
Daddy, I love to hear you read. Please read another story.
FATHER
I’ve already read three of them – you heard “The Three Billy Goats Gruff,” “The Three Bears” and “The Three Little Pigs.” Isn’t that enough for one night?
SUZY
Pulleese, Daddy. Just one more?
FATHER
No more tonight, honey. I promise I’ll read more tomorrow. You need to get a good night’s sleep so you’ll be ready for school. (He leans over and kisses her on the forehead) Goodnight. Sleep tight.
SUZY
Daddy, the stories you read upset me.
FATHER
Upset you? Why? What upset you?
SUZY
Well, in all of the stories, one of the characters was not nice, or did something wrong, and nothing was done about it. Like the wolf – he tried to blow down and destroy the pigs’ homes and never even said he was sorry.
FATHER
Hmmm, that’s true.
SUZY
And the troll was so mean – he wouldn’t let any of the goats go over his bridge to get to the other side so they could eat some good grass. And it wasn’t even really his bridge! Who did he think he was, anyway?
FATHER
You’ve got a point there.
SUZY
And poor Goldilocks – she didn’t go into the bear’s home to do any harm – she just wanted to taste the porridge, sit down and later take a nap.
FATHER
I see what you mean. Suppose you sleep on those stories, and tomorrow we’ll talk about what you think should have happened to them. It’s past your bedtime, so shut your eyes and dream pleasant dreams. (He pulls up the covers, kisses her again, and leaves)
SUZY
OK, Daddy. Goodnight. (She hugs her teddy, snuggles under the covers, yawns and is soon sound asleep – making light snoring sounds. Colorful lights swirl and intro to A FULL SCHEDULE begins. Stage left fades to black. Stage right lights up to reveal a courtroom scene with a high bench)
Scene Two – The Courtroom
(The BAILIFF and GUARD stand in front of the bench and sing)
SONG: A FULL SCHEDULE
GUARD: WE’VE GOT A FULL SCHEDULE TODAY,
BAILIFF: SO THEY SAY.
GUARD: WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU MANAGED TO HEAR?
BAILIFF: SEEMS THAT WE’RE
TRYING A WOLF WHO’LL PROB’LY BE FOUND
GUILTY OF BLOWING TWO HOUSES DOWN
WITH ONLY HIS BREATH.
GUARD: YOU’RE JOKING
BAILIFF: NO, HE
IS CHARGED WITH DESTROYING PROPERTY
GUARD: Waves hand by his nose
HIS BREATH MUST BE AWFULLY STRONG.
BAILIFF: NO, YOU’RE WRONG
GUARD: THEN HOW DID HE DO IT?
BAILIFF: HE SUCKED IN AND BLEW IT
WITH SUCH GREAT FORCE IT WAS QUITE ENOUGH –
ALL THAT HE DID WAS HUFF AND PUFF.
GUARD: AMAZING! WHO ARE THE PLAINTIFFS?
BAILIFF: THEY’RE
THREE PIGS.
GUARD: THAT WOLF MUST HAVE LOTS OF AIR!
BAILIFF: A SUZY HAS TO FACE
A TRESPASSING CASE.
GUARD: THEY’RE PUTTING A SUZY ON TRIAL?
BAILIFF: A BEAR FAM’LY SAID
THEY FOUND HER IN BED
IN THEIR HOME.
GUARD: BUT SHE IS JUST A CHILD.
BAILIFF: THE JUDGE IS ABOUT TO COME IN.
GUARD: LET’S BEGIN.
BAILIFF: SO MANY CASES TO PLEAD!
GUARD: LET’S PROCEED.
BAILIFF: WE’LL BE DOING OVERTIME.
GUARD: WAKE ME WHEN IT’S OVER, I’M
TAKING A NAP TILL IT’S DONE.
BOTH: ‘CAUSE CROWDED COURTROOM DOCKETS AREN’T MUCH FUN!
BAILIFF
Well, here comes the Judge. As the Judge enters and takes his place behind the bench, the Bailiff says: All rise. (He beckons to the audience and gets them all to rise) Hear ye, hear ye. All persons having business before this court shall draw nigh and give attention. This honorable court is now in session. (To the audience) You may be seated.
JUDGE
(Stands and raps his gavel, then sits) Bring in the first case please, Bailiff.
BAILIFF
Your honor, the Commonwealth of (name State) vs the Wolf, criminal act number 435, dated (today’s date).
JUDGE
What’s the charge?
BAILIFF
The charge is destroying property, your Honor.
JUDGE
Call the accused to the bench.
BAILIFF
Will the wolf approach the bench? (Wolf stands before the bench, looking up at the judge) Raise your right hand. (Wolf does) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
WOLF
I do.
JUDGE
(Looking WOLF up and down) Well, well, well. So you’re the one who did all this damage huh? (Shuffles through his papers) Let’s see now, according to the report, you single-handedly destroyed two houses by blowing them down. My, my. That’s pretty incredible. How in the world did you do that?
WOLF
Well, your Honor, it really wasn’t hard to do. I just huffed, and I puffed, and I blew their houses in – like this…(He sucks in lots of air and blows hard. The judge’s papers blow all over the place) Those houses were poorly constructed – made of straw and sticks – and they just fell over.
JUDGE
(Looking at the scattered papers) Now look what you’ve done. (The guard picks them up, puts them in order and hands them to the judge) Thank you, guard.
WOLF
(Sheepishly) Sorry, your honor. I wasn’t thinking.
JUDGE
You can say that again.
WOLF
Sorry, your honor, I wasn’t thinking.
JUDGE
(Reacts by rolling his eyes heavenward in disgust) Lets get on with this case. (Looks at his papers) According to the charges, you blew down the houses of two innocent pigs in an attempt to catch them for your dinner.
WOLF
Oh, no, your honor! That’s not why I blew down their houses. I was just trying to be helpful and show them how poorly constructed their houses were. I was just having a little fun.
JUDGE
Fun? What’s so much fun about destroying property that belongs to someone else?
WOLF
Well, sir, if I may…
JUDGE
Why don’t you just tell me what happened. I’d like to hear about the events that led up to this crime, and why you committed such a dastardly thing. Suppose you start at the beginning and tell me your story.
WOLF
Sure, your Honor.
Scene Three – In the Woods
WOLF
(As WOLFf begins, the curtain slowly opens. MOTHER PIG and her THREE PIGS are standing on stage left. As WOLF talks, he’s slowly moving onto the stage area from stage right) One day, while I was taking a walk in the woods, I overheard Mrs. Pig talking to her three sons, saying …
MRS. PIG
Boys, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and what I have to say is not easy for me.
JOE
What is it, Mama?
MRS. PIG
All of you are old enough now to be on your own, and I think it would be best if you each had your own home.
GUS
(In surprise) Our own home? What do you mean, Mama?
MRS. PIG
What I mean is, you should live in your own house and not with me anymore. You should be free, independent, on your own…
AL
(Interrupting) You mean…move out?
MRS. PIG
Yes – that’s exactly what I mean.
JOE
But where will we go?
GUS
Who will wash our clothes?
AL
Who will cook for us?
MRS. PIG
You’ll have to take care of yourselves. You’re all big boys now and should be able to be on your own. In fact, you should have been out of here years ago! I guess I’ve been too soft hearted – but enough is enough! (Getting melodramatic. I’ve worked my fingers to the bone for you. My whole life has revolved around you. Ever since your daddy was taken away for a pig roast, I’ve protected you and cared for you. But now, I want to be free! I need to be me! (Getting a hold of herself and softening a bit) But I promise we’ll keep in touch. You’ll always be welcome to come home and visit whenever you want. And perhaps you can come for dinner every Sunday.
AL
Sure, Mama. We understand. And you’re right – we’ve been dependent on you long enough. We can do it – can’t we boys? (Turns to his brothers)
JOE
(Uncertainly) Yeah, we can do it – I guess.
GUS
(With more certainty) Sure – we can do it.
AL
Then lets get going, fellas. Good luck. (They shake hands all around, wishing each other good luck, making comments and saying goodbye. Each, in turn, hugs Mrs. Pig, and exits stage right)
MRS. PIG
(Exits after them, waving and calling) Don’t forget to write! I’ll look for you Sunday for dinner.
JOE
(Returns to the stage from stage right, walks around the area, scratching his head and stopping every now and then to look around) Boy, now I’ve got to figure out where I’m going to live. (Looks around him). This seems to be a nice spot. I can’t think of any reason why I shouldn’t build my house right here. (Muses to himself). … build my house…build my house. Hmm, what am I going to build my house with? (He looks around the area, and as he does so, a man carrying three bundles of straw on his back enters from stage left. The man listens to Joe, then approaches him)
MAN 1
Hey, buddy, did I hear you say you want to build a house?
JOE
Yes, as a matter of fact, you did. I plan to build my house right here, but I don’t know what to make it out of.
MAN 1
Well, sir, you are indeed in luck. (He removes the bundles of straw from his back) Right here I have the finest straw you’ll ever find. It’s light, easy to handle, and will make you the best home you could ever hope for. It will be cool in the summer, and warm in winter. Yes sir, this is the answer to your house-building problem.
JOE
(Handling the straw) Yes, this does seem light and I think I could handle it. I’ll buy it. (He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out some bills, which he hands to the man. Joe takes the straw) The straw should make a comfortable, cozy home for me. And it’ll go up in no time at all! Thank you kindly, sir, I sure appreciate this.
MAN 1
My pleasure, sir. (He puts the money into his pocket) Good luck in your new home. (Exits stage left, laughing to himself)
JOE
(Begins assembling the bundles into a house toward stage left – laying one bundle across the other two to form a frame. The two side bundles have a stand in the back to support them. Music intros and he sings A HOUSE OF STRAW)
A HOUSE OF STRAW WILL BE
THE PERFECT HOME FOR ME.
I’LL GET IT FINISHED
AND BE IN IT
SOON – JUST WAIT AND SEE.
MY BROTHERS WON’T BE DONE;
I’LL BE THE ONLY ONE
WHO’S GOT SOME DIGS
THAT’S FIT FOR PIGS
WHO IS THE SMARTEST SON?
(The piano stops but he continues to hum or whistle the melody. When the house is finished, he brushes his hands and says) There! Not bad if I do say so myself. Boy, that was hard work, and I’m tired. I think I’ll go inside and rest up a big. (He goes behind one of the sides as the wolf approaches the house from stage right)
WOLF
(Looking at the house of straw and shaking his head back and forth) I’ve seen some pretty cheap houses before, but this one takes the cake. (He walks to the house to look at it more closely) Man, this is so flimsy. I bet I could just blow it down in one breath. Guess I’ll make a courtesy call to my new neighbor and see if there’s anything I can do for him. (Wolf approaches the front door and calls out) Oh, little pig – little pig – let me come in.
JOE
(Peering out the window and seeing WOLF. He turns to the audience and says…) Oh my, it’s the wolf. (Then to WOLF says) No, no, no. Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin! (To audience) Whatever that means! (He withdraws out of sight into the house)
WOLF
Well, then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down. (Wolf takes a big gasp of air and lets it out in a big blow. The PIG collapses the supports on the sides of the house, and the house falls down) Boy, that was easier than I thought it would be.
JOE
(Runs off stage left yelling) Help! Help! The wolf is after me! Help! (Wolf chases after him)
GUS
(Entering from stage right) Now, where will I ever find a home? I miss Mama already. I don’t know if I’m going to like being on my own. Oh well. First things first, and the first thing I need to do is build myself a house. (He looks around) Maybe I could cut down some trees and make a house with sticks. (As he’s talking,MAN 2 carrying three bundles of sticks enters stage left. The MAN overhears the last few sentences)
MAN 2
Sticks? Did I hear you say you need sticks to make a house?
GUS
Yes sir. I was just about to gather some sticks so I could build myself a house.
MAN 2
Well, look no further, my friend. For right here are some of the finest sticks you will ever find in this neck of the woods. (He removes the bundles from his back) Just look at the quality of these sticks – firm, smooth, solid. They would give you a house that would be the envy of everyone for miles around.
GUS
(Rubbing a stick with his hand) They are nice. I don’t think I could find any sticks that would be better.
MAN 2
And besides, it would save you the trouble of looking for them. Here they are – all ready for you to use.
GUS
You’re absolutely right. I’ll take them (He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some bills which he gives to the man) Here you are, sir, and thank you very much.
MAN 2
(Handing the sticks to Gus) And there you are. Thank you very much. (He walks off stage left, counting his money)
GUS
Making a house from these sticks shouldn’t be too hard. (He looks around) I wonder where I should build it. (He walks to a spot near stage right) This looks like a good place. (He begins to assemble the house in the same manner as the straw house was assembled. Music intros for A HOUSE OF STICKS, which he sings)
MY HOUSE OF STICKS WILL WIN THE PRIZE –
MY BROTHERS SOON WILL RECOGNIZE
MY ARTISTRY, AND THEY WILL SEE
HOW I’VE IMPROVED THIS PROPERTY!
(The piano stops but Gus continues humming or whistling the melody. When the house is raised; he looks at it and says) Done – and it’s a very pretty house if I do say so myself. That was harder work than I expected, and I’m really tired. I need to go in and take a nap. (He walks behind the house as WOLF enters stage left)
WOLF
Well, now, what have we here? Looks like another pig has moved into the neighborhood. I’ll check in with him and see if there’s anything he needs. (Wolf approaches the house for a closer look) One thing is for sure – these pigs aren’t the best contractors around. Imagine a house made of sticks. It’s probably not much stronger than the one made of straw, and you know what happened to that one! Hah, I’ll bet I could blow this one over in one breath too. Well, maybe it would take two blows. Oh well…(He approaches the house and calls out) Hey, neighbor! Hey little pig! Can I come in?
GUS
(Looking out the window) Oh, oh. It’s the wolf! You want to come in? Are you kidding? I wouldn’t let you come in if my life depended on it – and it does!
WOLF
(To audience). He’s playing hard to get, too. (To Pig) Aw, come on. I just want to be neighborly and pay you a visit.
GUS
Sure, sure. No way, Wolf. Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin. (To audience) Whatever that means!
WOLF
OK for you – you’ll be sorry. Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down. (Wolf takes a deep breath and blows – nothing happens) Just as I thought – this one will take two breaths. (He takes another deep breath and blows. The house falls down)
GUS
(Running from the house) Help! Help me, somebody. The wolf is after me! (He runs off stage left)
WOLF
Well. There goes another one. Boy, they sure don’t make houses the way they used to. (Calls to Pig) Hey, little pig – wait for me. (Wolf runs after PIG)
AL
(Entering stage right) Mama was right – we are getting too big to live with her. It’s kinda’ exciting going out into the world and being on my own. Just think – my own home! What kind should I make? It’s got to be a good one – one that will be strong and last a long time. I wonder how my brothers made out? Guess I’ll find out when I see them at Mama’s for dinner on Sunday. (As he is speaking, MAN 3 enters stage left with a wheelbarrow full of bricks) Well, well. Look at that. Just what I need – bricks that will make a good, strong house. (He approaches the man) Pardon me, sir, I’d be interested in buying your bricks, if you’d be good enough to sell them to me.
MAN 3
(Meekly) You want to buy my bricks?
AL
Yes, I do. You see, I want to build a house for myself, and I think these bricks will be perfect.
MAN 3
I see. But I was going to take these bricks into town and try to sell them there.
AL
Well, you don’t have to travel any more. I’ll buy them right here and now.
MAN 3
Gee. I hardly know what to say.
AL
Just say “yes”. (He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some bills)
MAN 3
(Looking at the money) Ok – sure – you can buy my bricks. (He takes the money) Thank you! Thank you very much.
AL
You are quite welcome. (He removes some of the bricks (made of cardboard) from the wheelbarrow and lays them on the ground. They are mounted on supports in similar fashion as the previous houses)
MAN 3
(Helping to unload) Here, at least let me give you a hand. Where do you want them?
AL
Over there. (He gestures toward center stage. When the bricks are unloaded, Al says…) That ought to do it. Thanks for your help.
MAN 3
Not at all. Good day to you, and good luck.
AL
Now to get to work. (He whistles while he puts together his house, stopping every now and then to wipe the sweat from his brow and comment on the heat of the day. Music intros for A HOUSE OF BRICKS, which he sings)
THIS WILL TAKE VERY LONG
BUT I’LL MAKE IT VERY STRONG.
FIRST A WALL, THEN A ROOM,
SOON A HOUSE WILL START TO BLOOM.
THOUGH I GO
VERY SLOW
I’LL BE SAFE WHEN NORTH WINDS BLOW.
BROTHERS MAY WIN THE RACE
BUT I’LL HAVE A STURDY PLACE.
(When finished, he steps back to admire his house) Ahhh, what a house! My very own home. It’s magnificent. (He yawns and stretches) That was one hard job, and I’m exhausted. I’ll go inside and rest for a while. (As he prepares to enter his house, JOE and GUS are heard calling off stage)
GUS AND JOE
Al! Al! Where are you Al? We need you. You must help us. (They run onto the stage, panting and see AL)
JOE
Oh, here you are! (He says this with relief)
GUS
Thank goodness we found you!
AL
What’s wrong, boys?
JOE
I built a house of straw…
GUS
And I built a house out of sticks …
AL
…and I built a house out of bricks. We did just like Mama asked us to. Good for us.
(They sing their songs together in COUNTERPOINT)
JOE:
A house of sticks will
be
The perfect home for
me.
I’ll get it finished
And be in it
Soon—Just wait and
see.
My brothers won’t
be done;
I’ll be the only one
Who’s got some digs
That’s fit for pigs—
Who is the smartest
one? GUS:
My house
Will win the prize--
My brothers
Soon will
Recognize
My artistry
And they will see
How I’ve
Improved this
Property! AL:
This will take
Very Long,
But I’ll make it
Very strong.
First a wall, then a room,
Soon a house will start to bloom.
Though I go very slow,
I’ll be safe when north winds blow.
Brothers may win the race,
But I’ll have a sturdy place.
JOE:
But…
GUS:
But…
AL:
…but what?
JOE:
As soon as I finished, the wolf came and blew my house down.
GUS:
Mine, too.
JOE:
Now, neither of us have a house to live in. Can we stay with you, Al?
GUS:
Yeah – at least until we can build another one?
AL
Sure you can. Come on in. And just in case the wolf decides to come visit me, we’ll be ready for him. Joe, build a big fire in the fireplace. And Gus, get the big black pot out – hang it over the fire and fill it with water. (They all enter the house)
WOLF
(Enters stage right) Well, will you look at this? (He studies the brick house carefully) Now this is more like it! Well constructed! Pretty solid, too. I’m glad to see that at least one pig knows what he’s doing. I want to meet him for sure. (Calls out) Hey, pig. Little pig, let me come in. I’d like to meet you.
JOE
(Sticking his head out the window) Did you hear that? He wants to eat you!
AL
Well, we won’t let him get near us. (Sticks his head out the window and calls to WOLF ) Go away, wolf. We don’t want to have anything to do with you. Leave us alone.
WOLF:
Come on guys. I’m just trying to be friendly. (He sings)
SONG I WANT TO BE FRIENDLY
I WANT TO BE FRIENDLY,
JUST HEED MY ADVICE
I’M SURE IN THE END WE
WILL SEE I’M QUITE NICE.
THERE’S NO NEED FOR TENSION,
THERE’S NO NEED FOR FEAR,
I JUST WANT TO MENTION
WHY I HAVE COME HERE.
YOUR HOUSE CONSTRUCTION
IS NOT TOO GOOD.
THEY FACE DESTRUCTION
AS I KNEW THEY WOULD.
YOUR CHOICE OF MATERIALS
WAS NOT VERY SMART,
IF BLOWING FROM HERE’LL (He points to his mouth)
RIP THEM ALL APART.
PLEASE LET ME INSIDE,
YOU DON’T HAVE TO HIDE,
YOU KNOW I WON’T GO AWAY.
I INTEND TO BE
FRIENDLY
WITH YOU TODAY.
AL:
Just go away. We don’t need or want your company.
WOLF:
Looks like I’m going to have to use force again. (To PIGS) Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down.
AL
(To audience) This ought to be good!
WOLF
Well, here goes – you asked for it – (He takes a big breath and blows – nothing happens)
Hmmm, this is gonna be tougher than I thought. (He takes another big breath and blows harder) Wow! This thing won’t budge. I could use some help. (Turns to the audience) Would you folks help me? (Wait for a response, and if necessary plead with them) Good. Now, I’ll count to three, and when I say three, you all take a deep breath and blow as hard as you can. Ready? One. Two. Three. (Wolf leads them in taking three breaths and blowing) I don’t believe it! The house is still standing. (The PIGS laugh loudly and heartily)
AL
Oh, Wolf, save your breath – you could NEVER blow this house down.
WOLF
Grrrr. Now I’m really mad. I’ll get all of them for that. (He climbs up to the roof, using a ladder that was behind the house and down the chimney. He screams, runs out the front door, holding onto his rear-end) Yow! Help! I’m on fire! Get me to a doctor, quick! I’ve been scalded! Help …(As he runs off stage left. The three PIGS come out the front door and stand in front of the house, laughing. They join hands, dance in a circle singing:) “Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf, the big, bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf? Tra la la la la.”
AL
Well boys, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about the wolf again. Now come on in and stay for supper. In fact, why don’t you both move in with me, and we’ll all live together. Joe, you can be in charge of the cooking. Gus, you can do the cleaning, and I’ll take care of the laundry. (They enter the house, and as they do so, they’re arguing about who will do what)
JOE
No, I don’t like to cook – you do the cooking, Gus.
GUS
Not me – I’d rather do the laundry. (Curtain closes as this dialogue takes place, and the wolf comes up front to the courtroom area)
Scene Four: Courtroom
WOLF
And that’s the whole story, Judge. I didn’t mean to ruin their houses. I was just having a little fun, and they were so poorly made that they fell over when I blew on them.
JUDGE
Well intentional or not, the fact remains that you did destroy their property. Therefore, this court finds you guilty of criminal mischief, and serves the following sentence on you. You will apologize to each of the pigs for scaring them and destroying their homes.
WOLF
Sure, Judge. I’ll be glad to do that. No problem at all.
JUDGE
Furthermore, you will write on the blackboard at school – 100 times – “I will not destroy the property of others.”
WOLF
But Judge, I don’t go to school.
JUDGE
Oh, yes you do. Starting Monday you will enroll in “Home Repair and Building 101”.
WOLF
(Obviously upset) Your Honor!
JUDGE
So ordered. This case is closed. You are dismissed. Have a good day! (Bangs the gavel) Next case.
WOLF
(Enraged) I’m going to appeal! You haven’t heard the last of me. I’ll get my justice, wait and see. (He continues to rant and rave as he exits – either stage right or through the audience as the curtain closes, and stage left lights up)
Scene Five: SUZY’s Bedroom - Midnight
(SUZY, in bed, suddenly sits up)
SUZY
Mommy! (Pause and calls again) Mommy! I’m thirsty. Please bring me a glass of water.
MOTHER
(From off stage left) All right, honey. I’ll be right there. (She enters stage left and hands SUZY a glass of water)
SUZY
(Speaking rapidly) Mommy, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that the wolf was taken to court and the judge …
MOTHER
Suzy, can this wait until morning? It’s midnight, and you really need to get back to sleep.
SUZY
But Mommy ….
MOTHER
No buts – finish your water and go back to sleep. (She kisses the SUZY on her forehead and turns to leave)
SUZY
(Reluctantly) All right. Goodnight. (She settles back on her pillow, hugs her teddy bear, snuggles under the covers, gets comfortable and is soon asleep- making soft snoring sounds. Dreamlike lights swirl around and dreamlike music plays as stage left fades to black and stage right lights up on the courtroom scene)
Scene Six: Courtroom
JUDGE
(Bangs the gavel) Bailiff, bring in the next case.
BAILIFF
Yes, your honor. (Calls) Next case please. (There is no response) Uh, your honor, I think I better see what’s going on. (He leaves stage right and returns holding on to the arm of the Troll, whose head is bandaged and is squirming in an effort to get away)
TROLL
Take your hands off of me. Let me go. I can walk by myself. Just let me go.
BAILIFF
(Stopping in front of the judge’s bench) Here’s the next case, your Honor. The Commonwealth vs the Troll. Criminal Act number 436, dated (today’s date)
JUDGE
(Peering over the bench at the Troll) Strange looking creature, isn’t he? Swear him in, Bailiff.
BAILIFF
Raise your right hand. (Troll does) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
TROLL
Sure. I’ve got nothing to hide.
JUDGE
What’s the charge, Bailiff?
BAILIFF
Your honor, this Troll is being charged with Terroristic Threats.
TROLL
(Incensed). I did not make any terroristic threats!
JUDGE
Just cool it, Troll.
TROLL
Cool it? How do you expect me to cool it? This man drags me in here against my will, charges me with “terroristic threats” and you tell me to “cool it!”
JUDGE
Settle down, young man.
WOLF
(Walks across the stage from left to right, carrying a briefcase)
JUDGE
Hey, you. Where do you think you’re going? Your case is over.
WOLF
I know, but I’m taking my case to another court. (He holds his briefcase up to show the judge and exits stage right)
JUDGE
(Looks after the WOLF, shakes his head in disbelief, then redirects his attention to the Troll) Now, where were we? (Troll rises as if to leave -BALIFF re-grips the TROLL’s arm)
TROLL
(Shaking loose from the Bailiff and jumping wildly up and down in a frenzy) Don’t tell me to settle down! I’ll settle down when I’m out of here. Let me out of here, do you hear me? Let me out of here!
JUDGE
(Banging the gavel loudly and quickly several times) Order in the court! Order in the court!
BAILIFF
(Steps forward to the bench) Well now, Judge, I’d like to have a ham on rye with a Coke.
GUARD
And I’d like to have a turkey sandwich along with a Coke, too. (Turns to audience) What would you like?
JUDGE
(Banging the gavel) What’s going on here? What do you think you’re doing? (Continues to bang the gavel until order is restored) Get back where you belong – all of you! (Turns to TROLL) Now, young man, are you calm enough to tell me your story?
TROLL
(Takes a big breath – then sighs loudly) Oh, all right. I’ll try. (Bailiff goes toTROLL and holds onto his elbow. Troll wriggles away) But get this guy away from me. Tell him to leave me alone.
JUDGE
(To BALIFF) All right, Bailiff. Leave the accused alone. I’m sure he can control himself now. (BALIFF backs away. Judge turns to Troll) Now, sir, tell us your story.
TROLL
OK, your honor. Ya see, when I was just a kid, my parents left me, and I had to fend for myself. I guess they just didn’t want to have to be bothered with taking care of me. I didn’t have any friends – everyone used to make fun of me. So, I became a loner.
JUDGE
How did you survive?
TROLL
Well, I used to go out at night, when it was dark, and get the leftovers from people’s houses. You’d be surprised at the extra food people make and then throw away.
JUDGE
I know. That in itself is a crime.
TROLL
Yeh, but at least I got to eat. Anyway, I ran away from my hometown, and had a hard time finding a place to live. I tried living over heat grates, in doorways, on park benches – anywhere I could find to put down my head. But I was always getting chased away.
JUDGE
It’s a good thing you didn’t come before me – I would have sent you to jail for vagrancy.
TROLL
Oh, I spent time in jail, too. That was the best place – a bed and good, warm food. But they’d release me and I was back where I started – no home and no place to go.
JUDGE
So what did you do?
TROLL
I decided to leave the city altogether and headed for the country. I found the prettiest place out in a meadow – it had a stream running through it, with a nice little bridge going over the stream.
JUDGE
That sounds like the Russell Dillman place.
TROLL
Yeh, I think that was the name I saw on the mailbox. Anyway, it was a hot day, and I was pretty tired, so when I came to this place. I rested under the bridge where it was shady and cool. It was so comfortable and beautiful and quiet there that found myself returning to that spot every night. And, before I knew it, it became my home.
JUDGE
Were you aware that you were trespassing on someone else’s property?
TROLL
Tres Passing? What does that mean?
JUDGE
It means that you were on property that didn’t belong to you and you shouldn’t have been there since you didn’t have permission.
TROLL
No! You don’t say? I didn’t know that. But I never saw anyone around – except, of course, Mr. Dillman’s goats.
JUDGE
His goats? How many goats did he have?
TROLL
Just three – they were brothers. And they called themselves the Billy Goats Gruff. But usually they didn’t bother me – they kept to themselves, eating the grass on the East side of the stream.
To read more, please purchase the script.
(Musical) Goldilocks, the Big Bad Wolf and the Troll from "Three Billy Goats Gruff" are on trial in three separate cases.
Author: Judy Wolfman
Composer: David Reiser
Synopsis:
Goldilocks, the Big Bad Wolf and the Troll from 'Three Billy Goats Gruff" are on trial in three separate cases.
The wolf is charged with destroying property; Goldilocks is charged with trespassing, and the troll is charged with terroristic threats and plain bad manners.As each character takes the stand to tell their story from his/her perspective, the curtain opens and the story unfolds. At the conclusion of each scene, the curtain closes and once again the character is in the courtroom, awaiting the judge's decision.
In each case, the judge hands down a sentence of community service, which the characters don't agree with, but the sentence is fair and just. The play shows that children can't get away with everything!This is the musical version. For the play version see Fairy Tale Justice.
Fairy Tales On Trial
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