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The Wishing Well

How do wishes and such things come true? Find out with the granters of wishes and good luck.

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The Wishing Well

How do wishes and such things come true? Find out with the granters of wishes and good luck.


Author:     Christine Harvey

Synopsis:

Not everything is perfect for those responsible for granting wishes and good luck, especially when thing interfere, such as if someone takes money from a wishing well and finds unfortunate things happen to them.

The Wishing Well

The Wishing Well

By 

Christine Harvey



The Wishing Well

Copyright ©2009 by Christine Harvey

All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that THE WISHING WELL is subject to a royalty.  It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union.  All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, and the rights of translation into foreign language are strictly reserved. 

The amateur live stage performance rights to  THE WISHING WELL are controlled exclusively by Drama Source and royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation.  PLEASE NOTE that amateur royalty fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances.  When applying for a royalty quotation and license please give us the number of performances intended, dates of production, your seating capacity and the admission fee.  Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to Drama Source Co., 1588 E. 361 N., St. Anthony, Idaho 83445. 

Royalty of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for charity or gain, and whether or not admission is charged.  For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to Drama Source Company, 1588 E. 361 N. St. Anthony, Idaho 83445.

Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by law, and the right of performance is not transferable.

Whenever the play is produced, the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play, “Produced by special arrangement with Drama Source Co.”

Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and advertising for the play.

No one shall commit or authorize any act or omission by which the copyright or the rights to copyright of this play may be impaired.

No one shall make changes in this play for the purpose of production without written permission.

Publication of this play does not imply availability for performance.    Both amateurs and professionals considering a production are strongly advised in their own interests to apply to Drama Source Company for written permission before starting rehearsals, advertising, or booking a theatre.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, now known or yet to be invented, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, videotaping or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.



Cast

Wisher # 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13

Person # 1 and 2

Addison, the secretary

President Big Dipper 

Dumb Luck

Fairy Godmother

Iris, a unicorn

Bobo, a clown

Skeleton

General Asteroid

Lieutenant Cometson

Dandy Lion 

Leprechaun 

Herman, a frog

Sydney

Mother

Jenny

Bronte

Erma

Billy

Jamie

George

Dana 

Victim

Dragon



Scene 1

(Wisher # 1 enters.)

Wisher # 1:  (pointing into the sky) Look!  It’s a shooting star. I wish for a million dollars.

(Wisher # 1 exits. Wisher # 2 enters.)

Wisher # 2: Starlight! Star bright!  First star I see tonight.  I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.  I wish that someday I will be the president.

(Wisher # 2 exits.  Wisher # 3 enters carrying a birthday cake with a candle and wearing a party hat.)

Wisher # 3: (singing) Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to me!  (Wisher # 3 blows out the candles.)  I wish that I could be a famous singer.

(Wisher # 3 exits. Wisher # 4 enters.)

Wisher # 4:  (pointing upward) I love rainbows!  I wish for the Leprechaun’s gold.

(Wisher # 4 exits.  Person # 1 and Wisher # 5 enter.)

Person # 1:  (pointing to Wisher # 5’s cheek) Oh look, you have an eyelash on your cheek.  Guess which eye it’s under.  (Wisher # 5 guesses by pointing to his/her left cheek.)  You got it right.  Make a wish.

Wisher # 5:  I wish to win the beauty pageant one day.

(Person # 1 and Wisher # 5 exit.  Wisher # 6 enters.)

Wisher # 6:  (looking at a digital watch) It’s 11:11am, I get a wish.  I’ll wish for a pet dog that will love me and never leave me.  I’ll call him Rover and love him for always.

(Wisher # 6 exits.  Person # 2 and Wisher # 7 enter carrying a wishbone between them. They each pull and the wishbone breaks.  Wisher # 7 gets the bigger half.)

Person # 2:  Oh, bummer, I got the smaller half!!

Wisher # 7:  I wish for the new purple running shoes that I picked out in the mall.  They are so cool, and they’ll make me faster.  That’s what the commercial said.

(Person # 2 and Wisher # 7 exit.  Wisher # 8 enters carrying a dandelion that has gone to seed.)

Wisher # 8: I wish that those bullies would stop pushing me around, insulting me, and taking my lunch money away.  (Wisher # 8 blows the dandelion and then exits.)

Scene 2 – (Corporate Meeting Room at The Wishing Corporation)

(Addison sits at his/her desk in the meeting room.  He/She holds a clip board and wears a portable headset for the phone.) 

Addison:  (searching through files on desk) Where is that environmental file?  Oh, well, I’ll look for it later.  (Addison presses a button on the intercom.) Our meeting will commence in one minute and eighteen seconds in board room number one. (Addison presses a button and answers the phone.)  This is The Wishing Corporation. Addison speaking, how can I help you?  She will not be in the office until approximately 9:31am tomorrow.  Can I take a message?  (Addison takes down a note.)  Okay, I’ll pass that message on to her.  Thank you for calling.  Bye-bye.  (Addison presses a button to indicate hanging up the first call and picking up a new one.)  Hello, you’ve reached The Wishing Corporation.  This is Addison speaking. How can I help you?  Oh, he’s on the other line right now.  His calls average five minutes and sixteen seconds. His longest call ever was twenty-nine minutes and fifty-seven seconds, so he probably won’t be any longer than that.  Can I put you on hold?  Okay, then maybe call back this afternoon and he should be available.  Of course sometimes he goes on a long lunch break or has a corporate meeting scheduled.  I calculate that the chances of that happening are about twenty-six, point two percent today. (Addison pauses as if he/she is listening to the caller.) Okay, thank you for calling.  Good-bye.  (Addison presses a button indicating that he/she has let go of the last caller and is now talking to a new caller.) Good morning.  This is The Wishing Corporation. Can I help you? Oh, she’s been working out of our African office since January 3rd at 8:18 am.  I’ll transfer you.  (Addison presses a button to indicate that he/she is transferring the call.  Addison looks at his/her watch and then gasps. Addison presses a button on the intercom.) This is a final count down: the meeting starts in eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.  (President Big Dipper, Dumb Luck, Iris, Fairy Godmother, Skeleton, Dandy Lion, Bobo, Leprechaun, Lieutenant Cometson and General Asteroid enter the meeting room as Addison counts down. The Fairy Godmother carries a coffee mug.  Lieutenant Cometson and General Asteroid enter with star shooting riffles.  Dandy Lion is tired and yawning throughout the scene.) Good morning, everyone.

President Big Dipper: Thank you, Addison.  

Dumb Luck:  It’s important to thank your employees for a job well done.  My pop taught me that.  Right, Pop?

President Big Dipper:  Yes, son.

Dumb Luck:  (pulling a file off Addison’s desk) Nice! This folder is a very pretty colour.

Addison:  That’s the environmental file!  I’ve been looking for it all day.  Thank so much, Dumb Luck.  I can’t even begin to calculate the time you’ve saved me. (Addison takes the folder and puts it on her desk in a place where it will be noticed.)

Dumb Luck:  (scratching his head and displaying a confused expression) Ah, okay.

Addison:  Here’s the agenda.  (Addison gives an agenda to everyone.  The agendas are very thick stacks of paper.)

Fairy Godmother:  (referring to the agenda) Someone has way too much time on their hands.

Skeleton:  (scared) This agenda is really big.  Bigger than my big toe – and my big toe is really big and really scary.  This agenda is really, really scary!

Iris:  To be quite honest, I find it a little scary myself.  Just think of all the magical trees that had to be cruelly chopped down so that we could use this agenda.  I mean, where will all the magical birdies sit without their magical trees?  And I think what we really need to ask ourselves is: Is a magical forest really a forest if it has no magical trees?

President Big Dipper:  Good point, Iris, but we took your advice last month and changed to magically recycled material, so the magical birdies won’t be at a loss.  Isn’t that right, Addison?

Addison: The environmental report confirms that our efforts to recycle have protected not only the magical birdies, but that the fairies and the unicorns are also noticing significant improvements in their habitats.  

Iris: Oh, good.

Fairy Godmother:  (referring to the agenda) Look at this crazy thing.  9:16 – Meeting starts.  9: 16 and five seconds – The secretary hands out the agenda.  9:16 and thirty seconds – The president thanks the secretary for the agenda.  9:16 and forty seconds – The President welcomes everyone.  Honey, how do you do it?  I can’t even schedule my next tooth brushing, for heaven’s sake.

Dumb Luck: Pop always says that it’s important to be thorough.  Isn’t that right, Pop?

President Big Dipper:  That’s right, son.  And this agenda is very thorough to say the least. (President Big Dipper addresses Addison) I know that we discussed some ideas you had about making our agenda more concise by collecting detailed information from past meetings and then consolidating and synthesizing it into averages.  And I know I also gave you the go ahead to put your calculations into practice, but…

Addison:  I’m sorry, but there is no time allotted in the agenda to discuss or evaluate the importance of the agenda.  I’ve only assigned one minute variance time and we have already used that up. There is not even time for me to tell you that there is no time.  We’ll have to proceed immediately if we are going to get back on track.

President Big Dipper:  Addison, I appreciate your hard work and efforts in trying to improve our agenda, but I don’t think this particular agenda is going to work for us today.  It’s a little too concise.

Addison:  I understand, Mr. President Big Dipper.  I will try again.  I can tell that my equations did not allow for the chaos factor.  I will integrate that into my next attempt.

President Big Dipper: That’s great!  I suggest that everyone puts their agendas aside for now.  (Everyone sets their agenda aside.) I will organize the meeting without an agenda today.  Let’s start with reports. Who would like to go first? How about you, Bobo? Tell us how birthday cake wishes have been going.

Bobo: (Bobo makes a series of clown-like actions.  Everyone nods and looks as if they understand what Bobo is saying.)

President Big Dipper: Oh really? Things have been slow? Well, I guess it isn’t birthday season.

Skeleton: Yeah, not as many people have been wishing on wishbones lately either. More and more people are becoming vegetarians, so they don’t have wishbones.  Not that I can blame them. Dead animals totally creep me out.  

President Big Dipper: Dandy Lion, what about you? People still blow dandelion seeds and make wishes, don’t they?

(Dandy Lion is sleeping and snoring.)

Fairy Godmother: Dandy Lion, wake up.  I didn’t get up at 6:00am today to have my coworkers sleeping through a meeting!  

(Dandy lion continues to snore.)

Addison: Actually, calculating the traffic speed, and the time you arrived at work this morning, I’d say you got up at 6:04

Fairy Godmother: 6:00 am, 6:04, same thing – both are way too early for me. I don’t do mornings!

Dumb Luck: Pop always tells me you should never sleep through a meeting. Isn’t that right, Pop?

President Big Dipper: Just someone wake her up already!

General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson: (saluting) Yes, President Big Dipper, sir! 

General Asteroid: General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson reporting, President Big Dipper, sir.

Lieutenant Cometson:  Commencing wake-up. 

(General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson shoot their rifles.  Dandy Lion wakes up.)

Dandy Lion: (yawning and stretching) Huh? Was I snoring?  What did I miss? 

Fairy Godmother: Oh, nothing much – only the entire meeting.

President Big Dipper: Your report, Dandy Lion?

Dandy Lion: (yawning throughout) Oh, yeah, right. Last week some kid wished for a pony and well after that… I sort of drifted off… (Dandy Lion goes back to sleep.)  

 

Iris: I wonder what type of dreams he’s having.  I love happy dreams.

Fairy Godmother: (sarcastically and rolling eyes) Yeah, me too.

Iris:  Today three lovely children had eye lash wishes.  They wished for good dreams.  Out of all the wishes I received, I think those are the only ones I really want to grant.  Is that okay with everyone?

(Everyone nods.)

Leprechaun: You have it so easy, lassie.  I wish that my department went like that! All the greedy little fellows I’m in charge of keep asking for me gold. Blimy, they have no manners.  All they want is me gold.  Even when they find a four leaf clover, they want money.  Money this, and money that.

Skeleton:  It’s true.  It’s always about money these days.  It’s so scary.

Bobo: (Bobo makes a series of clown-like actions.  Everyone nods and looks as if they understand what Bobo is saying.)

President Big Dipper:  Yes, Bobo concurs.  So that means that the majority of people’s wishes are still about money.

Addison:  Definitely.  As the person in charge of wishes made on digital clocks when the numbers line up the same, like 11:11 or 5:55, etc, I can tell you that out of my wishes alone, ninety-three percent of them are for money and materialistic items.  

President Big Dipper: Yes, there seems to be an escalation of people wishing for money.  As you know, I’m still in charge of wishes on stars because we will be short staffed until my son, Dumb Luck, learns the ropes, and just last night there were over a thousand wishes for people to become millionaires.

Addison: One thousand, two hundred, and forty-eight to be exact.

Fairy Godmother:  Don’t people realize that money doesn’t buy happiness?  Just look at all this money. (The Fairy Godmother pulls out wads of money from her pockets.)  This money doesn’t do anything for me.  Now chocolate, on the other hand, is quite satisfying.

President Big Dipper: General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson, how about you? Any wish information to report?

General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson:  Attention!  Deliver report!

Lieutenant Cometson: All things going well in our department, President Big Dipper, sir!

General Asteroid: The shooting stars wish industry is booming, President Big Dipper, sir!

Lieutenant Cometson:  We report that we have chosen to grant none of the wishes from last night’s meteor shower, sir.

General Asteroid:  Correct sir, too many undisciplined civilians who don’t know the value of what they are wishing for, sir.  

President Big Dipper: Well, that’s your prerogative. Wish granting is always at the discretion of the department heads.  Fairy Godmother, how is granting wishes going for you?

Fairy Godmother: Nothing new with me.  I’m still catering to all my godchildren, granting them the wishes that you all have deemed appropriate for them. My job this week has been mostly tolerable – although there was that one rotten child who got me up at ten thirty last night to get her a dress for the dance. I know that Bobo decided to grant her birthday wish, but did she really have to start getting ready so late?  And do you have any idea how hard it is to make a limo out of a pumpkin? Those simpering little girls with Cinderella complexes sure do boil my blood.  Girls these days – haven’t they ever heard about beauty sleep?  Youth is wasted on the young, that’s for sure.

 (Herman the frog hops slowly on stage.)

Herman: (always sounds low, like a frog’s ribbit) Payday! Payday! Payday!

Leprechaun: Blimy, payday already.  What luck!

President Big Dipper:  I take it business is good at the wishing well. 

Addison: You’re precisely twelve minutes and six seconds late. What was the hold up, Herman?

Herman: Big wish! Much Cash! Two trips!

President Big Dipper: Good!  It takes a great deal of money to keep our corporation functioning.  Well, don’t forget to give a duplicate copy of your reports given to Addison so we have them on file.  Some people are forgetting that new policy and it will be very important if we ever get audited.  Your originals will go to the Fairy Godmother as usual.

Fairy Godmother: Yeah, yeah.  Give me the list of wishes you want granted.  (Everyone except General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson give the Fairy Godmother their lists.)  The duties of a Fairy Godmother are never ending!

President Big Dipper: Fairy Godmother, what do you say you and I schedule a meeting to discuss how we could alleviate the problem you mentioned earlier, with all the after hours house calls you are making.  

Fairy Godmother:  Sure, sure whatever.  Just let me refill my coffee first.

President Big Dipper:  Have we all finished our reports, then? (Everyone nods.) Herman, don’t forget to drop off the money you collected from the well at the treasury department.

Herman:  (while he/she exits) Payday!  Payday!  Payday!

President Big Dipper:  All right then, our meeting is adjourned.

Addison: We’ll meet again in exactly 123 hours, 27 minutes and 8 seconds.

(Everyone exits.  General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson carry Dandy Lion off because he/she is still sleeping.)

Scene 3 – (By the Wishing Well)

Herman: (hopping across the stage and jumping into the wishing well) Payday! Payday! Payday! 

(Sydney and his/her mother enter.  Sydney is holding a toy dragon.) 

Sydney: (pretending the dragon is talking) Roar! Roar!  

Mother: Come along, Sydney.  It’s time to go! We’ll be late for your dentist appointment!

Sydney: (talking to the dragon) I don’t like dentists! I know! I’ll make you real so you can protect me! (Sydney talks to his/her mother.) Wait, mommy! I want to make a wish! 

Mother: Alright, Sydney, but be quick. 

Sydney: I need a penny! Give me penny! (Sydney screams and throws a temper tantrum.)

Mother: Okay, okay. Just stop whining. (The mother hands Sydney a coin from her purse.) 

Sydney: I wish that my dragon was real. (Sydney throws the coin into the wishing well and then talks to the dragon.) What’s that, Mr. Dragon? You’re hungry? (Sydney talks to his/her mother and while tugging her arm.) Mommy! Mr. Dragon is hungry! Can we get some ice cream?

Mother: I don’t think that’s a good idea.  You should not be eating ice-cream before a dentist appointment.

Sydney:  It’s not for me, it’s for my dragon.

Mother:  I don’t think so.

(Sydney throws another tantrum. Mother and Sydney exit.  Jenny and Bronte enter from opposite sides of the stage.  Bronte is doing his hair in a mirror and does not see Jenny. Jenny sees Bronte and looks at him lovingly.)

Jenny: Oh, look at him! Isn’t he just perfect? (Jenny waves to Bronte.  He notices her and waves back nonchalantly.) Eeek! He waved at me! (Jenny walks up to Bronte.) Hi, Bronte! (Jenny giggles coyly.)

Bronte: Hi, Jenny. (There is an awkward pause between them.  Jenny looks lovingly at Bronte and he looks confused and uncomfortable.) Well, see you later. (Bronte exits.)

Jenny: Wow! He knows my name! (Jenny squeals and giggles with delight.)   I love his blue, dreamy eyes.  If only he liked me back, but he likes that annoying cheerleader. (Jenny sighs and then notices the wishing well.) Hey, a wishing well! Cool! I know! I’ll make a wish! (Jenny takes a coin from her pocket then takes a deep breath.) I wish that Bronte would love me and worship me and never leave my side! (Jenny throws the coin into the well, sighs, and exits. Erma enters as Jenny is leaving.  She sees Jenny as she passes.)

Erma: (talking to the well, holding out a coin, referring to Jenny) Look at that lovely young girl. I remember when I was like her – so beautiful and happy and not old and wrinkly like I am now. Oh, if only I could go back to that happy time. I wish I could look and feel ten years younger. (Erma throws the coin into the well and then exits.  Jamie, Billy, George, and Dana enter.)

Billy: Did you see how Mrs. Hennessy screamed when we dangled her cat out of the window?

Jamie: Yeah, I thought I was going to die laughing! (Billy and Jamie laugh.)

George: Yeah! (George has an annoying geeky laugh.) It certainly was very clever of you to contrive such a daring plan! (George speaks to Jamie and raises his hand to try and high five Jamie.) Give me five! (Billy and Jamie stare at George unimpressed.  Jamie does not high five George.  George puts his hand down awkwardly.)

Jamie: (talking to Billy) Why do you let that little nerd hang out with us?

Billy: You saw him hack into the school computers – the kid is a genius. Besides, he’s my brother and I have to teach him everything I know. You got a problem with that? (Billy grabs Jamie by the collar and holds up a fist.)

George:  (unsuccessfully trying to act tough and holding up a feeble fist to Jamie) Yeah, you got a problem with that.  (Billy rolls his/her eyes and pushes down George’s fist.  Billy then releases Jamie.  Jamie is not fazed by the threats.)

Jamie: Let’s go find another cat.

George: I believe that Mrs. Doyle owns two felines, which calculates into providing us with twice as much fun!  (George giggles awkwardly.)

Dana: I don’t know, guys. I mean, aren’t you worried about hurting the cats?

Jamie: It’s just a stupid cat.

Billy: (noticing the wishing well) Hey look! It’s a wishing well! Can you believe that some people actually bother to make wishes and then throw money away? What a waste of cash. 

George: The idea is quite ridiculous as it is scientifically impossible for wishes to be granted by a well.

 

Jamie: (looking into the wishing well) There must be at least a hundred bucks in there.

Billy: Hey! Why don’t we take the money? I mean, it’s just lying there in the fountain. It’s not like the wishes are going to come true, or anything. And the people who threw it in don’t need it, or they wouldn’t have thrown it away in the first place.  (Jamie and George agree. The three go to steal the money. Dana stops them.)

Dana: I don’t feel right about this, guys.

Billy: Listen, you goody-good. If you want to hang with us, you’re going to have to go along with what we say. Got it?

Dana: Then maybe I don’t want to hang out with you.

George: But we are having such a superlative time. (George laughs awkwardly.)

Jamie: Superlative?  I’ll superlative you up the head! (Jamie whacks the back of George’s head.)

Billy: (talking to Dana) You’re new here, and if I put in a word with a few of my pals, you’ll never have a friend again.  So if I were you, I’d be a little nicer to us.

Jamie: Quick! Let’s grab the money before somebody comes. 

(They each take turns going up to the well and taking some coins. George takes a handful of coins, Jamie takes two handfuls of coins and Billy fills his/her hands and stuffs his/her pockets. They all stare at Dana.  Dana goes forward and takes a few coins. Billy, Jamie, and George exit. Dana drops the coins back into the well.)

Dana: There’s no way that I’m going to steal this money. Sure, I want to fit in, but they’ll never know that I didn’t take any.

(Dana exits in the same direction as Billy and company. Herman jumps out of the well. )

Herman: Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

(Herman exits.)

Scene 4: (At the Wishing Corporation)

(Addison looks for her pen.  The phone ring and Addison answers it.)

Addison:  (pressing a button) The Wishing Corporation, Addison speaking, can I help you?  I’m sorry; we’re not responsible for wishes gone awry. Please contact our legal department.  (Addison presses a button to hang up on the caller.)   Now where is that pesky pen?

(Addison continues to look for her pen.  Dumb Luck enters and trips over the pen.)

Dumb Luck:  (holding up the pen) Wow, this pen certainly is slippery.

Addison:  (taking the pen from Dumb Luck) Thank you, Dumb Luck.  I’ve been looking for my thin-tipped red felted pen forever.  It’s the only thing that works when I’m editing President Big Dipper’s letters to his international contacts.  Thank you!

Dumb Luck:  No problem, Addison.  (Dumb Luck exits.  The phone rings. Addison answers it.)  

Addison:  (pressing a button) Hello. The Wishing Corporation, how may I help you? Oh, President Big Dipper, sir! I’m just finishing up a few files. But what can I do for you? Yes. Yes. No problem, sir. Yes, of course.

(Herman hops onstage.)

Herman: Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

Addison:  (still on the phone) What’s that? Mayday!! (Herman nods.) Mr. President, we have a problem, sir. Herman has just declared a mayday! (Addison pauses and then rolls his/her eyes.)  Not a hay day, sir, a mayday! What should I do? Uh-huh. Yes, right away, sir. (Addison presses an intercom button.) Everyone, report to boardroom number one immediately for an emergency meeting! We have a mayday! I repeat: we have a mayday!

Offstage voices: A hay day! Whew-hoo!

Addison: No, a mayday!

Offstage voices:  (disappointed) Oh.

(President Big Dipper, Dumb Luck, Dandy Lion, the leprechaun, Iris, the Fairy Godmother, General Asteroid and Lieutenant Cometson all enter in a panic saying things like “Why are we here?” and “What’s the emergency?” etc. The Fairy Godmother is dragging Dandy Lion who is still sleepy.)

Addison: I’d like to call to order an emergency meeting.  I am pleased with the speed in which you reached the selected Board room.  You were 3 seconds quicker than my estimated fastest possible time.

Fairy Godmother:  Addison, I was just wondering: Why do we number our board rooms when we only have one?

Addison:  It’s important to number things.  Also, I predict that the company will be expandi

The Wishing Well

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