Fairy Tale Justice

FAIRY TALE JUSTICE

by

JUDY WOLFMAN

Fairy Tale Justice

 Copyright 2010  

by 

Judy Wolfman

All Rights Reserved

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FAIRY TALE JUSTICE

Cast of Characters

THE FAMILY

LITTLE GIRL   Sweet, loves stories – both to hear and to tell.    Costume – nightgown or pajamas.

FATHER Loving, kindly, attentive to his daughter.  Costume – pajamas with a bathrobe over them; bedroom Slippers.

MOTHER  Sweet, loving, also attentive to her daughter.  Costume – nightgown or pajamas covered by a bathrobe; Slippers.

COURT ROOMBAILIFF A dignified, well-spoken person, in charge of the   Courtroom.  Costume – dark trousers, white shirt with tie.

GUARD Does his job well, but tends to get easily sidetracked.  Costume – dark trousers, dress shirt with tie.

JUDGE Very professional and authoritative, good listener.  Costume – black robe.

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

MAMA PIG Sweet, but annoyed that her sons have lived with her so long. She’s anxious to have them leave, but trying to hide this feeling. Costume – house dress, pig’s ears and curly tail.

GUS A bit lazy, wants everything the easy way. Not too sure of himself.  Costume – dark pants (knickers), colorful shirt, colorful vest, pig’s ears and tail.

JOE Not quite as lazy as Gus, but still doesn’t want to work too hard. A little surer of himself, and a bit brighter.  Costume – dark knickers, colorful shirt, colorful vest, pig’s ears and tail.

AL Very sure of himself, smart, hard worker.  Costume – dark knickers, colorful shirt, vest. Pig’s ears and tail.

1st SALESMAN Fast talking con man.  Costume – a loud outfit – mismatched colors and design.

2nd SALESMAN Glib tongue, alert, picks up on things fast.  Costume – a bright, colorful outfit, but not mismatched.

3rd SALESMAN  Meek, mild, soft spoken, mannerly – almost apologetic.

Costume – a matched outfit with quiet colors and rather drab.

WOLF  Cocky, practical joker. Easily angered but able to control his temper. He’s more subtle and mischievous – not really trying to be harmful.  Costume – baggy pants, T-shirt, suspenders. Should have wolf’s features – ears, busy tail.

THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF

TROLL Serious, easily upset and reacts in a rather volatile manner.  Costume – dressed like a bum – ragged clothing, tangled hair, dirty shoes with holes in them.

LITTLE GOAT  Swaggers when he walks – tries to act “cool”.Costume – hippie attire – flare pants, colorful shirt, beads. Goat ears, tail and small goatee.

MEDIUM GOAT  Also swaggers, with a little heavier step than the little goat. A bit cocky and sure of himself.  Costume – hippie attire – jeans, fancy shirt, beads, goat ears, tail, goatee that is a little longer than his brother’s.

BIG GOAT Very sure of himself; almost arrogant – heavy-footed, deliberate steps, cocky. Talks tough.  Costume – leather jacket, fancy shirt, beads, goat’s ears, tail and longer goatee than his brothers.

THE THREE BEARS

GOLDILOCKS Sweet, innocent young thing.  Costume – simple dress, sneakers.

PAPA BEAR Strong character – quick to get upset and react to things but manages to gain control.  Costume – trousers, shirt, bear’s ears, nose and tail.

MAMA BEAR  Typical mother figure – concerned about her family. Tries to keep everyone happy.  Costume – housedress, bear’s ears, nose and tail.

BABY BEAR A bit of a wimp. Has a great imagination. Is easily upset and quick to cry.  Costume – shorts, T-shirt, bear’s ears, nose and tail.

ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS FORMING A JURY COULD BE ADDED

FAIRY TALE JUSTICE

SCENE 1

(AT RISE: Lights come up on little girl’s bedroom, Stage left – early evening. She is sitting up in bed. Her father stands next to her, holding an open book of fairy tales in his hands.)

FATHER

And the three little pigs never saw the wolf again. (He closes the book.) Now, sweetie, it’s time for you to get some shuteye.

GIRL

Daddy, I love to hear you read. Please read another story.

FATHER

I’ve already read three of them – you heard “The Three Billy Goats Gruff,” “The Three Bears” and “The Three Little Pigs.” Isn’t that enough for one night?

GIRL

Pulleese, Daddy. Just one more?

FATHER

No more tonight, honey. I promise I’ll read more tomorrow. You need to get a good night’s sleep so you’ll be ready for school. (He leans over and kisses her on the forehead.) Goodnight. Sleep tight.

GIRL

Daddy, the stories you read upset me.

FATHER

Upset you? Why? What upset you?

GIRL

Well, in all of the stories, one of the characters was not nice, or did something wrong, and nothing was done about it. Like the wolf – he tried to blow down and destroy the pigs’ homes and never even said he was sorry.

FATHER

Hmmm, that’s true.

GIRL

And the troll was so mean – he wouldn’t let any of the goats go over his bridge to get to the other side so they could eat some good grass. And it wasn’t even really his bridge! Who did he think he was, anyway?

FATHER

You’ve got a point there.

GIRL

And poor Goldilocks – she didn’t go into the bear’s home to do any harm – she just wanted to taste the porridge, sit down and later take a nap.

FATHER

I see what you mean. Suppose you sleep on those stories, and tomorrow we’ll talk about what you think should have happened to them. It’s past your bedtime, so shut your eyes and dream pleasant dreams. (He pulls up the covers, kisses her again, and leaves.)

GIRL

OK, Daddy. Goodnight. (She hugs her teddy, snuggles under the covers, yawns and is soon sound asleep – making light snoring sounds. Colorful lights swirl and dreamlike music plays. Stage left fades to black. Stage right lights up to reveal a courtroom scene with a high bench. The Bailiff and Guard stand in front of the bench – talking.)

Scene Two – The Courtroom

GUARD

I hear we have a pretty heavy schedule today.

BAILIFF

That’s what they tell me.

GUARD

What are some of the cases the judge will try?

BAILIFF

From what I hear, there’s some wolf being charged with destroying property.

GUARD

Yeah, I heard about him. He says he blew down two houses. Can you imagine that? Actually blowing houses down?

BAILIFF

That ought to be a good one – probably some “looney”. Then there’s some strange guy who’s been making terroristic threats.

GUARD

Wow, that’s heavy. What outfit is he with?

BAILIFF

I don’t know, but that ought to be an interesting case to hear.

GUARD

I understand some little girl is being charged too. Is her case on the docket for today?

BAILIFF

(Thinking for a minute.) Yesss, I think it is up for today. I can’t imagine a sweet little girl having to appear in court.

GUARD

What’s she being charged with?

BAILIFF

As far as I know, trespassing.

GUARD

Oh, that’s not so bad. (Judge appears in the doorway stage right.)

BAILIFF

Well, here comes the Judge. (As the Judge enters and takes his place behind the bench, the Bailiff says…)All rise. (He beckons to the audience and gets them all to rise.) Hear ye, hear ye. All persons having business before this court shall draw nigh and give attention. This honorable court is now in session. (To the audience.) You may be seated.

JUDGE

(Stands and raps his gavel, then sits). Bring in the first case please, Bailiff.

BAILIFF

Your honor, the Commonwealth of (name State) vs the Wolf, criminal act number 435, dated (today’s date).

JUDGE

What’s the charge?

BAILIFF

The charge is destroying property, your Honor.

JUDGE

Call the accused to the bench.

BAILIFF

Will the wolf approach the bench? (Wolf stands before the bench, looking up at the judge). Raise your right hand. (Wolf does).  Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

WOLF

I do.

JUDGE

(Looking the wolf up and down). Well, well, well. So you’re the one who did all this damage huh? (Shuffles through his papers). Let’s see now, according to the report, you single handedly destroyed two houses by blowing them down. My, my. That’s pretty 

incredible. How in the world did you do that?

WOLF

Well, your Honor, it really wasn’t hard to do. I just huffed, and I puffed, and I blew their houses in – like this…(He sucks in lots of air and blows hard. The judge’s papers blow all over the place). Those houses were poorly constructed – made of straw and sticks – and they just fell over.

JUDGE

(Looking at the scattered papers). Now look what you’ve done. (The guard picks them up, puts them in order and hands them to the judge). Thank you, guard.

WOLF

(Sheepishly). Sorry, your honor. I wasn’t thinking.

JUDGE

You can say that again.

WOLF

Sorry, your honor, I wasn’t thinking.

JUDGE

(Reacts by rolling his eyes heavenward in disgust). Lets get on with this case. (Looks at his papers). According to the charges, you blew down the houses of two innocent pigs in an attempt to catch them for your dinner.

WOLF

Oh, no, your honor! That’s not why I blew down their houses. I was just trying to be helpful and show them how poorly constructed their houses were. I was just having a little fun.

JUDGE

Fun? What’s so much fun about destroying property that belongs to someone else?

WOLF

Well, sir, if I may…

JUDGE

Why don’t you just tell me what happened. I’d like to hear about the events that led up to this crime, and why you committed such a dastardly thing. Suppose you start at the beginning and tell me your story.

WOLF

Sure, your Honor.

Scene Three – In the Woods

WOLF

(As the wolf begins, the curtain slowly opens. Mother Pig and her three pigs are standing on stage left. As the wolf talks, he’s slowly moving onto the stage area from stage right). One day, while I was taking a walk in the woods, I overheard Mrs. Pig talking to her three sons, saying …

MRS. PIG

Boys, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and what I have to say is not easy for me.

JOE

What is it, Mama?

MRS. PIG

All of you are old enough now to be on your own, and I think it would be best if you each had your own home.

GUS

(In surprise). Our own home? What do you mean, Mama?

MRS. PIG

What I mean is, you should live in your own house and not with me anymore. You should be free, independent, on your own…

AL

(Interrupting). You mean…move out?

MRS. PIG

Yes – that’s exactly what I mean.

JOE

But where will we go?

GUS

Who will wash our clothes?

AL

Who will cook for us?

MRS. PIG

You’ll have to take care of yourselves. You’re all big boys now and should be able to be on your own. In fact, you should have been out of here years ago! I guess I’ve been too soft hearted – but enough is enough! (Getting melodramatic). I’ve worked my fingers to the bone for you. My whole life has revolved around you. Ever since your daddy was taken away for a pig roast, I’ve protected you and cared for you. But now, I want to be free! I need to be me! (Getting a hold of herself and softening a bit). But I promise we’ll keep in touch. You’ll always be welcome to come home and visit whenever you want. And perhaps you can come for dinner every Sunday.

AL

Sure, Mama. We understand. And you’re right – we’ve been dependent on you long enough. We can do it – can’t we boys? (Turns to his brothers).

JOE

(Uncertainly). Yeah, we can do it – I guess.

GUS

(With more certainty). Sure – we can do it.

AL

Then lets get going, fellas. Good luck. (They shake hands all around, wishing each other good luck, making comments and saying goodbye. Each, in turn, hugs Mrs. Pig, and exits stage right).

MRS. PIG

(Exits after them, waving and calling). Don’t forget to write! I’ll look for you Sunday for dinner.

JOE

(Returns to the stage from stage right, walks around the area, scratching his head and stopping every now and then to look around). Boy, now I’ve got to figure out where I’m going to live. (Looks around him). This seems to be a nice spot. I can’t think of any reason why I shouldn’t build my house right here. (Muses to himself). … build my house…build my house. Hmm, what am I going to build my house with? (He looks around the area, and as he does so, a man carrying three bundles of straw on his back enters from stage left. The man listens to Joe, then approaches him).

MAN

Hey, buddy, did I hear you say you want to build a house?

JOE

Yes, as a matter of fact, you did. I plan to build my house right here, but I don’t know what to make it out of.

MAN

Well, sir, you are indeed in luck. (He removes the bundles of straw from his back). Right here I have the finest straw you’ll ever find. It’s light, easy to handle, and will make you the best home you could ever hope for. It will be cool in the summer, and warm in winter. Yes sir, this is the answer to your house-building problem.

JOE

(Handling the straw). Yes, this does seem light and I think I could handle it. I’ll buy it. (He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out some bills, which he hands to the man. Joe takes the straw). Thank you kindly, sir. I sure appreciate this. The straw should make a comfortable, cozy home for me.

MAN

My pleasure, sir. (He puts the money into his pocket). Good luck in your new home. (Exits stage left, laughing to himself).

JOE

(Begins assembling the bundles into a house toward stage left – laying one bundle across the other two to form a frame. The two side bundles have a stand in the back to support them.  As he works he sings, whistles, or hums. The completed house is raised. Joe steps back to admire it. He brushes his hands and says…) There! Not bad if I do say so myself. Boy, that was hard work, and I’m tired. I think I’ll go inside and rest up a big. (He goes behind one of the sides as the wolf approaches the house from stage right).

WOLF

(Looking at the house of straw and shaking his head back and forth). I’ve seen some pretty cheap houses before, but this one takes the cake. (He walks to the house to look at it more closely) Man, this is so flimsy. I bet I could just blow it down in one breath. Guess I’ll make a courtesy call to my new neighbor and see if there’s anything I can do for him. (Wolf approaches the front door and calls out). Oh, little pig – little pig – let me come in.

JOE

(Peering out the window and seeing the wolf. He turns to the audience and says…) Oh my, it’s the wolf. (Then to the wolf says) No, no, no. Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin! (To audience). Whatever that means! (He withdraws out of sight into the house)

WOLF

I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house down. (Wolf takes a big gasp of air and lets it out in a big blow. The pig collapses the supports on the sides of the house, and the house falls down) Boy, that was easier than I thought it would be.

JOE

(Runs off stage left yelling). Help! Help! The wolf is after me! Help! (Wolf chases after him).

GUS

(Entering from stage right). Now, where will ever find a home? I miss Mama already. I don’t know if I’m going to like being on my own. Oh well. First things first, and the first thing I need to do is build myself a house. (He looks around). Maybe I could cut down some trees and make a house with sticks. (As he’s talking, a man carrying three bundles of sticks enters stage left. The man overhears the last few sentences).

MAN

Sticks? Did I hear you say you need sticks to make a house?

GUS

Yes sir. I was just about to gather some sticks so I could build myself a house.

MAN

Well, look no further, my friend. For right here are some of the finest sticks you will ever find in this neck of the woods. (He removes the bundles from his back). Just look at the quality of these sticks – firm, smooth, solid. They would give you a house that would be the envy of everyone for miles around.

GUS

(Rubbing a stick with his hand). They are nice. I don’t think I could find any sticks that would be better.

MAN

And besides, it would save you the trouble of looking for them. Here they are – all ready for you to use.

GUS

You’re absolutely right. I’ll take them (He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some bills which he gives to the man). Here you are, sir, and thank you very much.

MAN

(Handing the sticks to Gus). And there you are. Thank you very much. (He walks off stage left, counting his money).

GUS

Making a house from these sticks shouldn’t be too hard. (He looks around him). I wonder where I should build it. (He walks to a spot near stage right.) This looks like a good place. (He begins to assemble the house in the same manner as the straw house was assembled, singing, humming and/or whistling as he works. When finished the house is raised; he looks at it and says). Done – and it’s a pretty good house if I do say so myself. That was harder work than I expected, and I’m really tired. I need to go in and take a nap. (He walks behind the house as the wolf enters stage left).

WOLF

Well, now, what have we here? Looks like another pig has moved into the neighborhood. I’ll check in with him and see if there’s anything he needs. (Wolf approaches the house for a closer look). One thing is for sure – these pigs aren’t the best contractors around. Imagine a house made of sticks. It’s probably not much stronger than the one made of straw, and you know what happened to that one! Hah, I’ll bet I could blow this one over in one breath too. Well, maybe it would take two blows. Oh well…(He approaches the house and calls out.) Hey neighbor! Hey little pig! Can I come in?

GUS

(Looking out the window). Oh, oh. It’s the wolf! You want to come in? Are you kidding? I wouldn’t let you come in if my life depended on it – and it does!

WOLF

(To audience). He’s playing hard to get, too. (To Pig). Aw, come on. I just want to be neighborly and pay you a visit.

GUS

Sure, sure. No way, Wolf. Not by the hair on my chinny, chin, chin. (To audience). Whatever that means!

WOLF

OK for you – you’ll be sorry. Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down. (Wolf takes a deep breath and blows – nothing happens). Just as I thought – this one will take two breaths. (He takes another deep breath and blows. The house falls down).

GUS

(Running from the house). Help! Help me, somebody. The wolf is after me! (He runs off stage left).

WOLF

Well. There goes another one. Boy, they sure don’t make houses the way they used to. (Calls to Pig). Hey, little pig – wait for me. (Wolf runs after the pig).

AL

(Entering stage right). Mama was right – we are getting too big to live with her. It’s kinda exciting going out into the world and being on my own. Just think – my own home! What kind should I make? It’s got to be a good one – one that will be strong and last a long time. I wonder how my brothers made out? Guess I’ll find out when I see them at Mama’s for dinner on Sunday. (As he is speaking, a man enters stage left with a wheelbarrow full of bricks). Well, well. Look at that. Just what I need – bricks that will make a good, strong house. (He approaches the man). Pardon me, sir, I’d be interested in buying your bricks, if you’d be good enough to sell them to me.

MAN

(Meekly). You want to buy my bricks?

AL

Yes, I do. You see, I want to build a house for myself, and I think these bricks will be perfect.

MAN

I see. But I was going to take these bricks into town and try to sell them there.

AL

Well, you don’t have to travel any more. I’ll buy them right here and now.

MAN

Gee. I hardly know what to say.

AL

Just say “yes”. (He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some bills).

MAN

(Looking at the money). Ok – sure – you can buy my bricks. (He takes the money). Thank you! Thank you very much.

AL

You are quite welcome. (He removes some of the bricks (made of cardboard) from the wheelbarrow and lays them on the ground. They are mounted on supports in similar fashion as the previous houses).

MAN

(Helping to unload). Here, at least let me give you a hand. Where do you want them?

AL

Over there. (He gestures toward center stage. When the bricks are unloaded, Al says…) That ought to do it. Thanks for your help.

MAN

Not at all. Good day to you, and good luck. (He exits stage left).

AL

Now to get to work. (He whistles while he puts together his house, stopping every now and then to wipe the sweat from his brow and comment on the heat of the day.  When finished, he steps back to admire his house). Ahhh, what a house! My very own home. It’s magnificent. (He yawns and stretches). That was one hard job, and I’m exhausted. I’ll go inside and rest for a while. (As he prepares to enter his house, JOE and GUS are heard calling off stage).

GUS AND JOE

Al! Al! Where are you Al? We need you. You must help us. (They run onto the stage, panting and see AL).

JOE

Oh, here you are! (He says this with relief).

GUS

Thank goodness we found you!

AL

What’s wrong, boys?

JOE

I built a lovely house of straw and as soon as I finished it, the wolf came and blew it down.

GUS

And I built a great house out of sticks, but as soon as I finished mine, the wolf came and blew it down.

JOE

Now, neither of us have a house to live in. Can we stay with you, Al?

GUS

Yeah – at least until we can build another one?

AL

Sure you can. Come on in. And just in case the wolf decides to come visit me, we’ll be ready for him. Joe, build a big fire in the fireplace. And Gus, get the big black pot out – hang it over the fire and fill it with water. (They all enter the house).

WOLF

(Enters stage right). Well, will you look at this? (He studies the brick house carefully).

Now this is more like it! Well constructed! Pretty solid, too. I’m glad to see that least one pig knows what he’s doing. I want to meet him for sure. (Calls out). Hey, pig. Little pig, let me come in. I’d like to meet you.

JOE

(Sticking his head out the window). Did you hear that? He wants to eat you!

AL

Well, we won’t let him get near us. (Sticks his head out the window and calls to the wolf). Go away, wolf. We don’t want to have anything to do with you. Leave us alone.

WOLF

Oh, no. Not this one, too. These guys must be anti-social. (Calls to the pigs). Come on, guys. I’m just trying to be friendly.

AL

Sure you are! Just go away. We don’t need or want your company.

WOLF

Looks like I’m going to have to use force again. (To pigs). Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and 

I’ll blow your house down.

AL

(To audience). This ought to be good!

WOLF

Well, here goes – you asked for it – (He takes a big breath and blows – nothing happens).

Hmmm, this is gonna be tougher than I thought. (He takes another big breath and blows harder). Wow! This thing won’t budge. I could use some help. (Turns to the audience). Would you folks help me? (Wait for a response, and if necessary plead with them). Good. Now, I’ll count to three, and when I say three, you all take a deep breath and blow as hard as you can. Ready? One. Two. Three. (Wolf leads them in taking three breaths and blowing). I don’t believe it! The house is still standing. (The pigs laugh loudly and heartily).

AL

Oh, Wolf, save your breath – you could NEVER blow this house down.

WOLF

Grrrr. Now I’m really mad. I’ll get all of them for that. (He climbs up to the roof, using a ladder that was behind the house and down the chimney. He screams, runs out the front door, holding onto his rear-end). Yow! Help! I’m on fire! Get me to a doctor, quick! I’ve been scalded! Help …(As he runs off stage left. The three pigs come out the front door and stand in front of the house, laughing. They join hands, dance in a circle singing, “Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf, the big, bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf? Tra la la la la.”

AL

Well boys, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about the wolf again. Now come on in and stay for supper. In fact, why don’t you both move in with me, and we’ll all live together. Joe, you can be in charge of the cooking. Gus, you can take over the cleaning, and I’ll take care of the laundry. (They enter the house, and as they do so, they’re arguing about who will do what).

Fairy Tale Justice

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