TechNo Christmas

Tech-No Christmas

By

Daris Howard

Copyright 2011

Tech-No Christmas

 Copyright 2011  

by  Daris Howard

All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that TECH-NO CHRISTMAS is subject to a royalty.  It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union.  All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, and the rights of translation into foreign language are strictly reserved. 

The amateur live stage performance rights to TECH-NO CHRISTMAS are controlled exclusively by Drama Source and royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation.  PLEASE NOTE that amateur royalty fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances.  When applying for a royalty quotation and license please give us the number of performances intended and dates of production.  Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to Drama Source Co., 1588 E. 361 N., St. Anthony, Idaho 83445, unless other arrangements are made. 

Royalty of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for charity or gain, and whether or not admission is charged.  For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to Drama Source Company, 1588 E. 361 N. St. Anthony, Idaho 83445.

Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by law, and the right of performance is not transferable.

Whenever the play is produced, the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play, “Produced by special arrangement with Drama Source Co.”

Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and advertising for the play.

No one shall commit or authorize any act or omission by which the copyright or the rights to copyright of this play may be impaired.

No one shall make changes in this play for the purpose of production without written permission.

Publication of this play does not imply availability for performance.    Both amateurs and professionals considering a production are strongly advised in their own interests to apply to Drama Source Company for written permission before starting rehearsals, advertising, or booking a theatre.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, now known or yet to be invented, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, videotaping or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.Cast

Milo – Gage

Santa – RJ 

Rudolph – Hunter

Dasher – Olivia

Torey – Cassidy

Sandy  – Andrea

Dancer – Jada 

Cupid 

Blitzen

Elves

Reindeer

 

Tech-No Christmas

Scene 1

Santa enters followed by an elf named Milo. Santa looks through a box or bag marked mail while Milo is listening to his mp3 player, nodding his head in beat to the music.

Santa: I can’t believe how small the mail bin is this year. You’d wonder if kids believe in us anymore. We need to try to figure out why. Milo, would you go tell everyone we need to have a meeting. {Milo doesn’t move but keeps bopping to the music. Santa sees him and sighs.} Milo? {Louder} Milo? {Pulling out one of Milo’s ear buds.} Milo!

Milo: Were you talking to me?

Santa: Yes. What are you listening to so intently?

Milo: {Still bopping and singing, but not all that good} Grandma got run over by a reindeer… {Keeps bopping his head a second} …with incriminating clause marks on her back. 

Santa: Very nice, but…

Milo: Have you ever heard it?

Santa: No, but…

Milo: {Pulling out his ear buds} Here, why don’t you take a listen.

Santa: {Waving his hand} Thanks, Milo, but we have an emergency here. Would you mind summoning everyone?

Milo: Sure. Be happy to.

{Milo starts texting into his phone while Santa turns back to the mail. Shortly after Milo finishes, Santa turns around and is surprised.}

Santa: You are still here? I thought you were going to go summon everyone!

Milo: I did.

Santa: There’s no way you could have already gone and…

{Santa is interrupted by everyone coming in. They are all carrying cell phones, or listening to mp3 players, or both. There are children dressed as elves, reindeer, and any other Christmas character desired. The reindeer could be stuffed to look a little fat. Rudolph comes right up front.}

Rudolph: Hey, Milo, buddy.

Milo: Hey, Rudy. Man, you are more lit up than usual. You been drinking too much hot chocolate?

Rudolph: Ha, ha. That’s funny, Milo. At least it was the first thousand times I heard it. So what’s with the emergency meeting?

Milo: I don’t know; Santa called it.

Rudolph: The big man himself, huh? Must be important.

Santa: I’m sure you all wondered why I called you here during this busy time of year. Well, I’m afraid were are facing somewhat of a crisis. 

{Everyone begins to mumble, quite concerned.}

Elf 1: What is it Santa?

Santa: I’m afraid the number of children of the world that have quit believing in us is increasing drastically.

{Everyone begins to mumble again.}

Elf 2: What makes you say that?

Santa: The number of letters we have gotten lately has decreased exponentially. {Holding up the mail bag} See?

Elf 3: But Santa, no one uses snail mail for letters any more!

Santa: Snail mail?

Elf 1: That’s the term for letters.

Santa: So what do they use?

Elf 2: They use email.

Elf 3: Or texting.

Elf 4: Or facebook.

Elf 5: Or tweets.

Santa: I know of email and texting, but facebook and bird calls?

Elf 5: Not bird calls. Tweets.

Santa: What’s the difference?

All: What’s the difference?!

Song: Techno Jive (Rudolph or other cast member)

There is a great big difference somehow

When speaking of a flying reindeer and cow.

One walks on the ground, one jumps and takes flight

A letter’s like a shuffle where your feet are going slow, 

But email lightens up so you can go!

All: North Pole jive, let’s go! (clap clap)

North Pole jive, let’s go! (clap clap)

Rudolph or other reindeer:

So when you send a message to me

You want to see that it moves in a hurry.

The mail can be slow, but email will go,

With facebook you can keep in touch

Twitter doesn’t say too much,

But with all of them you will know.

All: North Pole jive, let’s go! (clap clap)

North Pole jive, let’s go! (clap clap)

North Pole jive, We’re alive, let’s go!

Milo: So have you checked the email we set up for you?

Santa: Checked it where?

Milo: Online, of course. Here let me show you. {He grabs a laptop} Okay, we login to Santa Claus at Google dot com. Whoa! 1.4 billion unread messages. Disk space usage, 1.5 million terabyte.

Rudolph: Click on one, Milo.

Milo: Hey, look at this, Santa. The kid has even sent you pictures of what he wants.

Santa: {Grabbing the laptop} Let me see that. {Reading} Dear Santa, I’ve been a good boy this year, well, other than the time that I accidentally burned the garage down.  Oh, and maybe when I accidentally chopped down that power pole and caused a blackout for the whole city.  I mean, it really did kind of look like a tree, don’t you think.  Anyway, I’d really like a new tablet p.c. I want one with at least 32 gig of ram and WiFi capabilities with 4G preferably, but 3G would be okay… {Quite irritated} It goes on and on. We don’t make that kind of stuff up here. 

Milo: {Taking back the laptop} He probably knows that. That is why he included some links to places that carry that stuff. It says here, ‘You can find them at http://www dot …’

Santa: Stop! Why would I want to give someone that stuff? Why not a doll or a toy train?

Milo: Those aren’t cool anymore. Listen to this.

{Reading and singing to “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas”}

Suzy wants an ipod, she thinks dolls are dumb. 

Dave would like an xbox, he’s always wanted one.

As for me Dear Santa Claus, I know I wrote you twice,

But I changed my mind and think a smart phone would be nice

All: Times are changing Santa, they don’t want dolls or toys

They really aren’t the same, little girls and boys.

If it is not ‘lectonic, they think it wastes their time.

For that old fashioned stuff they wouldn’t pay a dime.

Milo: (Reading and singing) Ralphy wants a Kindle, though he can’t read a word.

Allie needs a new laptop, her old one is absurd.

Johnny says his Facebook friends feel ipads are a must.

If he doesn’t get one, he just thinks that he will bust.

All: Times are changing Santa, they don’t want dolls or toys

They really aren’t the same, little girls and boys.

If it is not ‘lectonic, they think it wastes their time.

For that old fashioned stuff they wouldn’t pay a dime.

Santa: Christmas is about home and those we love; it’s not about what we get. The time we spend together is what will make us happy, not the latest gadget. 

To read more, please order the script.

TechNo Christmas

Author: Daris Howard
     Daris Howard is an author and playwright who grew up on a farm in rural Idaho. He associated with many colorful characters including cowboys, farmers, lumberjacks and others.
     Daris and his wife, Donna, have ten children and were foster parents for several years. He has also worked in scouting and cub scouts, at one time having 18 boys in his scout troop.
     His plays, musicals, and books build on the characters of those he has associated with, along with his many experiences, to bring his work to life.
    He and his family have enjoyed running a summer community theatre where he gets a chance to premiere his theatrical works and rework them to make them better. His published plays and books can be seen at http://www.darishoward.com. He has plays translated into German and French and his work has been done in many countries around the world.
     In the last few years, Daris has started writing books and short stories. He writes a popular news column called Life’s Outtakes, that consists of weekly short stories and is published in various newspapers and magazines in the U.S. and Canada and has won many awards for his writing. Author: Donna Howard
Donna Howard has a bachelor of music in clarinet performance and music composition from Brigham Young University – Idaho. She has a master’s degree in music composition from Stephen F. Austin State University. Donna loves the performance arena of music. She loves to play in jazz bands, dance bands, orchestras, and musicals. Also trained under Wilson Brown, she learned many of the techniques of high quality performance and music.

Pursuing her degree in music, she also found great interest in the theory of music. Using these skills and working together, Donna and Daris were able to go through the songs written for the musical and refine them, making the finished product much better.

In the musical Lilacs in the Valley, her arranging style can be felt in songs like “It Ain’t Much But It’s Home” and “Walkin’ Along”. 

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