Mrs. Scrooge
Mrs. Scrooge – Script
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Mrs. Scrooge

A charming musical adaptation of the Dickens’ classic "A Christmas Carol" but since the genders are reversed, most of the major and minor leads are female

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Mrs. Scrooge

A charming musical adaptation of the Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol” but since the genders are reversed, most of the major and minor leads are for females. There are also many supporting roles/chorus parts for children, teens & adults.


Author:    Donald Leonard

Composer/Lyricist:    David Reiser

Synopsis:

Mrs. Scrooge is a charming musical adaptation of the Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol” but since the genders are reversed, most of the major and minor leads are for females. There are also many supporting roles/chorus parts for children, teens and adults.

Get in the Christmas Spirit! MRS. SCROOGE–A new musical based on Charles Dickens’ classic, “A Christmas Carol” but with a twist: the genders are reversed. It can be produced with a cast as small as 15 or as large as 50, with leads and minor leads for children, teens and adults–plus many small roles for chorus members. All of the major leads–and many of the minor leads–are female, making it an excellent vehicle for male-short community and school theatre.

While this version reverses the genders of the main characters, this doesn’t change the title lead’s stinginess or displeasure for the Yuletide season. This new musical bends tradition to offer family audiences a female Ebenezer and a female Bob Cratchit. Penny- pinching tycoon Eliza Tupper, a widow whose sour disposition has earned her the nickname “Mrs. Scrooge”, learns charity and gratitude not just from the spirited visits by four ghosts but also from Mary Jane, her newly arrived orphan niece, and her kindly housekeeper, Francine, the female equivalent of “Bob Cratchit.”

Aunt Eliza decides that an orphanage would make the best home for Mary Jane. Fortunately for MJ, Francine persuades the old grouch to let her niece stay with her for the holidays. After Aunt Eliza has a quartet of ghostly visitors, her outlook changes. The character of “Tiny Tim” is replaced by Francine’s husband who was injured in a factory accident. There’s also a hilariously forced romance between Francine’s eldest daughter, Patricia, and a redcap who befriends her family. Warmly familiar, Reiser’s songs fit the story like tinsel on the holiday tree. Packed with humor and compassion, this show is truly in the “spirit” of the season.

Mrs. Scrooge

Mrs. Scrooge

A new musical Inspired by “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens

       Book                                           Music and Lyrics 

          By                                                     By

Donald J. Leonard, Jr.                      David Reiser



Mrs. Scrooge

Copyright 2003

by Donald J. Leonard, Jr. and David Reiser

All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that MRS. SCROOGE is subject to a royalty.  It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union.  All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, and the rights of translation into foreign language are strictly reserved. 

The amateur live stage performance rights to MRS. SCROOGE are controlled exclusively by Drama Source and royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation.  PLEASE NOTE that amateur royalty fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances.  When applying for a royalty quotation and license please give us the number of performances intended and dates of production.  Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to Drama Source Co., 1588 E. 361 N., St. Anthony, Idaho 83445, unless other arrangements are made. 

Royalty of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for charity or gain, and whether or not admission is charged.  For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to Drama Source Company, 1588 E. 361 N. St. Anthony, Idaho 83445.

Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by law, and the right of performance is not transferable.

Whenever the play is produced, the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play, “Produced by special arrangement with Drama Source Co.”

Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and advertising for the play.

No one shall commit or authorize any act or omission by which the copyright or the rights to copyright of this play may be impaired.

No one shall make changes in this play for the purpose of production without written permission.

Publication of this play does not imply availability for performance.    Both amateurs and professionals considering a production are strongly advised in their own interests to apply to Drama Source Company for written permission before starting rehearsals, advertising, or booking a theatre.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, now known or yet to be invented, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, videotaping or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.


MUSICAL NUMBERS

ACT I

Overture……….…………………………………………..Instrumental

Opening……………………………………………..……………….Ensemble

Mrs. Scrooge………………………………………………….Urchins

Christmastime……………………………………………….Ensemble

There’s A Lot to Be Thankful for…………………………Mary Jane

Christmas……………………………………………….Eliza/Carolers

My Own Room………………………………….Mary Jane/Francine

Evening Prayer………………………….Martin/Patricia/Brett/Ernest/Tammy

I’d Like to Get to Know You……………………….William/Patricia

Mrs. Scrooge (Reprise)……………………………………….Urchins

Dry Your Eyes……………………………………………….Francine

Oh, Eliza, Dear/It’s A Dream………………………….Madeline/Eliza

ACT II

Ertr’ Acte……………………..………………..….……Instrumental

Eliza’s Birth/Eldon’s Birth/Boarding School…..……………Carolers

Dance………………………………………………….…Instrumental

Funeral March (I)…..……………………………….…..Instrumental

Christmastime (Reprise)……………..………………………Carolers

Table Blessing…..                      .Martin/Francine/Patricia/Brett/Ernest/Tammy/William

Go ‘Way………..………………………………………….Mary Jane

Funeral March (II)…………………………………………………Instrumental

What’ll ya Gimme………………………………………..Mrs. Jenkins

A Brand-New Day……………………………………….………Eliza

Deck the Hall (Traditional)………………………………..…Carolers

There’s A Lot to Be Thankful for…………….All those in scene four

Mrs. Tupper……………………………………………..…..Company

Bows………………………………………………….….Instrumental Cast of Characters:

Eliza Pendergast Tupper – A rich, miserly woman.

Francine O’Rielly – Mrs. Tupper’s over-worked employee.

Mary Jane Pendergast – Mrs. Tupper’s high-spirited niece.

Mr. Saunders/Christmas Past – A meek orphanage representative.

Madeline Whittier Pendergast – The ghost of Eliza’s mother.

Josiah Tupper/Christmas Present – Mrs. Tupper’s late husband.

Martin O’Reilly – Francine’s handicapped husband.

Patricia O’Reilly – Francine and Martin’s eldest child.

Brett O’Reilly – The eldest of the two boys, age twelve.

Ernest O’Reilly – The second of the two boys, age ten.

Tammy O’Reilly – The youngest O’Reilly child.

William Henderson – Patricia’s young male suitor.

Barbara Jenkins – Mrs. Tupper’s opinionated cook.

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

Two Street Peddlers

Pawnbroker

Dr. VanderHausen

Judge Hawthorne Lake

Street Urchins

Vendors

Shoppers

Train Station Occupants

Salvation Army Carolers

Sidewalk Santa

Police Officer

Others



ACT I

Overture – down in one

(A montage/tableau of turn of the century New York is staged with the ENSEMBLE acting out the hustle and bustle of the weeks before Christmas.  We see STREET PEDDLERS selling their wares to various SHOPPERS.  A group of STREET URCHINS attempt to steal from a distracted VENDOR while a strolling POLICE OFFICER maintains the peace.  A SIDEWALK SANTA competes with SALVATION ARMY CAROLERS as the overture comes to an end.  There is a brief blackout.  After the MAIN CURTAIN has opened, the lights come up on the re-grouped ensemble huddled in a mass center stage.  They sing the following opening narration to the audience)

SONG: OPENING

ENSEMBLE:  (Singing)

ONCE THERE WAS A WOMAN WHO,

DESPITE THAT SHE WAS WELL-TO-DO,

REFUSED TO SHARE HER WEALTH WITH THOSE IN NEED.

ELIZA TUPPER WAS HER NAME,

AND THROUGH THE YEARS HER NAME BECAME

SYNONYMOUS WITH BITTERNESS AND GREED.

SHE DIDN’T LIKE TO SPEND A DIME

ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS TIME,

ALTHOUGH WE KNOW HER FORTUNE WAS HUGE.

SO FOLKS BEGAN COMPARING HER

TO CHARLES DICKENS’ CHARACTER,

AND CALLED HER MRS. SCROOGE.

(The ENSEMBLE disperses revealing ELIZA PENDERGAST TUPPER, a crotchety woman in her early sixties, as she crosses from stage right to left and is flanked by the local STREET URCHINS.)

SONG: “MRS. SCROOGE”

STREET URCHINS:  (Singing)

MISSUS SCROOGE, MISSUS SCROOGE,

PINCHES EV’RY PENNY.

SHE HAS GOT SUCH A LOT

AND WE DON’T HAVE ANY!

ELIZA: (To URCHINS) My NAME is Elizabeth Pendergast Tupper.  You may address me only as ma’am.  I don’t see why you must call me that silly, peevish name.  Such nonsense!  Why don’t you all go find employment in a factory or somewhere you can be of use to society!  (SHE exits in a huff as STREET URCHINS react and LIGHTS fade to BLACKOUT).

SCENE I (in front of UPSTAGE-CURTAIN)

(The scene changes to the interior of ELIZA’S home, a Victorian-style house that is suggested by a few simple but elegant furnishings:  a period coat rack, sofa, desk and chair, and lighting fixture. The housekeeper, FRANCINE O’REILLY, a harried and thin woman in her late thirties, enters the room with a telegram for ELIZA.)

FRANCINE:  Oh, Mrs. Tupper, this just came for you.

ELIZA:  What is it, another bill?

FRANCINE:  No ma’am, it’s a telegram.

ELIZA:  Well, don’t just stand there.  Read it to me.

FRANCINE:  But it could be a personal matter that doesn’t concern me, ma’am.

ELIZA:  I highly doubt that, Francine.  It’s probably another of those solicitors asking for money.  Go ahead and open it.  I’m growing older by the minute!

FRANCINE:  Well, if you insist, ma’am.  (SHE reads) Mrs. Elizabeth Pendergast Tupper, Great Neck, New York.  I regret to inform you that your brother Eldon T. Pendergast, and his wife Flora, were (shocked) killed in a train accident.  Oh, dear God!

ELIZA:  Is that all?

FRANCINE:  No, there’s more.  (SHE Reads again)  According to your brother’s will, as the only living relative of their surviving daughter, ten-year-old Mary Jane Pendergast, you have been named as her legal guardian.  The expenses for her upbringing shall be provided by the First Metropolitan Bank of Chicago.  Your Niece will arrive this Sunday on the nine a.m. train at Grand Central Station.  Sincerely,  Irving J. Wentworth, Attorney at Law.

ELIZA:  She can’t stay here!  We simply have to find a boarding school that will take her in.

FRANCINE:  But Mrs. Tupper, It’s almost Christmas.  The schools will be closing for the holidays.

ELIZA:  Whatever for?

FRANCINE:  So the children can visit their families.

ELIZA:  What if they haven’t any family?  Surely there must be someone who stays with the orphans.

FRANCINE:  Please, Mrs. Tupper, think of the child.  She has just lost both of her parents and you are her only living relative.  She needs you after a terrible tragedy like this.  It really isn’t my business, but since you have such a spacious home I can’t see why you couldn’t invite her to stay here at least until after the holidays.  By then a more suitable home could be found and she can start school at the beginning of the new term.

ELIZA:  You are absolutely right, Francine.  It IS none of your business!  (SHE gives FRANCINE a nasty look).  Oh, very well!  I’ll agree to keep her over the holidays.  But since you’re so interested in the child’s welfare, YOU can pick her up Sunday morning.  It’s a good thing it’s your day off!  I certainly wouldn’t want to pay you to walk to the train station and back.

FRANCINE:  (Under her breath) I’m sure you wouldn’t.

ELIZA:  What was that?

FRANCINE:  I sure wouldn’t … mind.  We’re usually in church at 9 o’clock, but I suppose we could go to a later mass.

ELIZA:  You do that.

BLACKOUT – MID-CURTAIN CLOSES

SCENE II – GRAND CENTRAL TRAIN STATION PLATFORM

(The scene begins as we see a very large bustling group of ENSEMBLE MEMBERS singing “Christmastime”.  The mood is similar to the opening of the show, where we see SOLDIERS on leave returning to their families and girlfriends for the holidays, GRANDPARENTS visiting their children and grandchildren.  We see traveling NUNS, BUSINESSMEN, VENDORS, etc.  The effect is similar to an old Norman Rockwell Saturday Evening Post Christmas cover.)

SONG: “CHRISTMASTIME”

ENSEMBLE:

CHRISTMASTIME, CHRISTMASTIME,

A WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR.

WHEN OUR CHILDREN DISPLAY

THEIR MOST PROPER BEHAVIOUR

‘CAUSE SANTA CLAUS SOON WILL BE HERE.

OLDER ONES HAVE BEGUN

A CUSTOM THEY JUST CAN’T RESIST.

THEY FOUND OUT THAT WHEN THEY GO

UNDER THE MISTLETOE

THEY CAN EXPECT TO BE KISSED!

ALL OVER THE TOWN

DECORATIONS ABOUND

AND THE SNOW COVERS MOST OF THE GRIME

AT CHRISTMASTIME!

CHRISTMASTIME, CHRISTMASTIME,

WHEN ALL OF THE WORLD IS AGLOW,

RECALLING THE NIGHT

WHEN A STAR SHOWN SO BRIGHT

ON A STABLE A LONG TIME AGO.

CHOIRS SING, CAROLS BRING

A WARMTH TO THE COLD WINTER AIR.

THE PEOPLE YOU MEET

AS YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET

HAVE CONGENIAL GREETINGS TO SHARE.

TOO BAD IT WON’T LAST

ONCE THAT CHRISTMAS IS PAST,

‘CAUSE THE FEELING IS REALLY SUBLIME

AT CHRISTMASTIME.

(The ENSEMBKLE immediately fans out and scatters about the stage.  We now see FRANCINE and her children; PATRICIA, BRETT, ERNEST, and TAMMY in their Sunday best.  There is much hustle and bustle around them as people arrive and depart from various directions.  There is much commotion.)

FRANCINE:  (To PATRICIA) Now you stay here with the children while I go find Mary Jane’s train.

PATRICIA:  Oh, mother, I still don’t understand why we had to pick up Mrs. Tupper’s niece.  Why couldn’t she do it herself?

FRANCINE:  If it were left up to Mrs. Tupper, I’m afraid the poor girl would be spending Christmas in an orphanage.  I’m sorry for delaying our arrival at church, but I simply must tend to this first.  Now please watch the children.

TAMMY:  Mommy, do you have to go?

FRANCINE:  Yes, dear.  I’ll be right back.  (To the BRETT & ERNEST)  You boys behave for your sister.  Remember, it’s almost Christmas!

BRETT & ERNEST:  Yes, Mother.

FRANCINE:  Good.  (To PATRICIA) I’ll be right back.

(FRANCINE crosses to a TRAIN CONDUCTOR crossing from upright to upleft.  He directs her to off right, she thanks him in pantomime and exits in that direction.  TAMMY begins to take a mitten off her left hand.)

PATRICIA:  Tammy, don’t take your mitten off or you might lose it.

TAMMY:  But my hand itches.

PATRICA:  That’s because the mittens are made of wool.  You should be grateful that you have a sister who knits for you.  Otherwise, you’d have no mittens at all and then your hands would be cold.

TAMMY:  Yes, but then they wouldn’t itch.

BRETT:  Oh, you’re such a crybaby!

TAMMY:  I am not!

BRETT:  Are too!

ERNEST:  (To BRETT)  Don’t tease her or she’ll cry.

TAMMY:  I will not.

PATRICIA:  Stop it, all of you!  Let’s find something else to talk about!  Why don’t we try to guess what Mrs. Tupper’s niece will be like?

BRETT:  (Acting it out)  Maybe she’s a witch like old Mrs. Tupper!  (HE chases TAMMY)

ERNEST:  (Following BRETT’S cue)  She’s probably as mean as a goblin.  (HE too pursues TAMMY)

TAMMY:  (Shrieking) NO!  (SHE runs and hides behind PATRICIA)

PATRICIA:  Stop it!  You’re scaring your sister!

(WILLIAM HENDERSON, a young railroad porter happens to be walking by and notices the commotion.)

WILLIAM:  Is everything okay?

PATRICIA:  Why, yes sir, the boys were just…. being boys, I guess.  (Picking up TAMMY while speaking to her)  It’s alright, sweetheart, they were just teasing.

WILLIAM:  These aren’t YOUR children?

PATRICIA:  Why, no.  I’m only seventeen and I’m not married.  (Suddenly pretending to be much more sophisticated)  These are my mother’s children.

WILLIAM:  (Laughing)  I see.  (To TAMMY)  And how old are you? 

(TAMMY holds out her hand displaying five fingers)

WILLIAM:  Five, huh?  

(TAMMY nods her head “yes”)

WILLIAM:  Well, you’re quite the young lady.  

(TAMMY smiles)

WILLIAM:   And how old are you two lads?  Thirteen and fourteen?

BRETT:  (Boldly)  As a matter of fact we are!

ERNEST:  (To BRETT)  You’re a liar!  (To WILLIAM)  He’s twelve and I’m ten years old.

WILLIAM:  Is that so?  I would have guessed much older.

PATRICIA:  You must think I’m terribly rude for not introducing myself.  I’m Patricia O’Reilly and these are my brothers Brett and Ernest, and this is my sister, Tammy.

WILLIAM:  It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.  I’m William Henderson, train porter, at your service.

BRETT:  Here comes Mother.  (Pointing)  That must be Mary Jane.

(FRANCINE and MARY JANE enter stage carrying various pieces of luggage.)

FRANCINE:  (To WILLIAM) Oh, porter!

WILLIAM:  Yes, ma’am?

FRANCINE:  I was wondering if you could help us.

WILLIAM:  How could I be of service?

FRANCINE:  (Pointing offstage)  There is a steamer trunk on that train that needs to be delivered to this address.  (Handing him a slip of paper)  It’s a pre-paid delivery.  I just want to make sure it gets there sometime today.

WILLIAM:  I’ll take care of it ma’am.

FRANCINE:  Thank you so much.

WILLIAM:  (To PATRICIA and KIDS) Goodbye!

PATRICIA and KIDS:  Goodbye, William!

FRANCINE:  Did I interrupt something?

PATRICIA:  Oh, no Mother.  We were just talking.

FRANCINE:  I see.  I’d like to introduce you to Miss Mary Jane Pendergast.  Mary Jane, these are my children; Patricia, Ernest, Brett, and Tammy.

MARY JANE:  How do you do?

PATRICIA:  Fine, thank you.

BRETT/ERNEST/TAMMY:  Hello.

BRETT:  So what’s in the trunk?

FRANCINE:  Brett!  That’s none of your business.

MARY JANE:  Oh, it’s quite alright.  I don’t mind.  It’s mostly full of clothes, and all of my other worldly possessions.

ERNEST:  What are worldly possessions?

MARY JANE:  Everything I own, except for my dog, Max.  I had to leave him in Chicago with my friend Maggie.

BRETT:  You had a dog and you couldn’t bring him?

MARY JANE:  Yes, but it’s just as well because he was quite old and wouldn’t have traveled very well.  Maggie never had a dog before and now she has something to remember me by.

FRANCINE:  You certainly do have a good attitude.  Come on, let’s take you to meet your Aunt.

MARY JANE:  I haven’t seen her since I was very little.  Is she nice?

FRANCINE:  It depends.  I suppose the farther away you are, the nicer she is.

BRETT:  (Sarcastically) I bet she seems wonderful from South America.  

(FRANCINE gives him a stern look)

MARY JANE:  I’m very fortunate to have Aunt Eliza to live with.  Most children go to an orphanage once they’ve lost both parents.

FRANCINE:  We’re all real sorry about that, Mary Jane.  How tragic for someone your age to experience such misfortune, to lose both of your parents.

TAMMY:  Why are her parents lost, mommy?

FRANCINE:  They’re up in heaven, sweetheart.

TAMMY:  With Grandma?

FRANCINE:  Yes dear.

TAMMY:  And Uncle Tom?

FRANCINE:  Well, I’m not so sure where he ended up…

TAMMY:  (To MARY JANE) Gee, I’m sorry you don’t have any Mom or Dad.

SONG: “THERE’S A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR”

MARY JANE:  (Singing)

MY PARENTS ARE IN HEAVEN LOOKING DOWN ON ME;

THOUGH I KNOW IT’S A BETTER PLACE FOR THEM TO BE.

I MISS THEM SO AND SOMETIMES GET UPSET—

I DON’T LIKE FEELING SO ALONE, AND YET…

THERE’S A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR:

THE SUN IN THE SKY,

WITH CLOUDS DRIFTING BY,

AND FLOWERS THAT BLOOM IN MAY.

A SHADE WHEN IT’S HOT,

AND THEN, WHEN IT’S NOT,

WARM CLOTHES ON A WINTER DAY.

THERE’S A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR:

THE SWEET MELODY

OF A BIRD IN A TREE,

THE MOON SHINING CLEAR AND BRIGHT.

THE PATTER OF RAIN

ON A WINDOW PANE

THAT LULLS ME TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.

I TRY NOT TO DWELL ON WHAT I LACK,

AND BE HAPPY WITH WHAT I’VE GOT.

THINGS HAPPEN THAT CAN’T BE TAKEN BACK,

AND MY LIFE CAN’T BE WHAT IT’S NOT.

I HAVE MET FIVE NEW FRIENDS TODAY.

AND PRETTY SOON I

WILL MEET MY AUNT ELIZA

AND SEE WHERE I’M GOING TO STAY.

THAT’S WHAT I’M MOST THANKFUL FOR—

‘CAUSE I WON’T BE AN ORPHAN ANYMORE.

ERNEST:  Good thing you’re thankful now, because I don’t think you will be once you’ve met your Aunt.

FRANCINE:  (To ERNEST)  That’s quite enough.  (To PATRICIA) Go on ahead and take the children to church.  I’ll meet you there.

PATRICIA:  All right mother.  It was nice meeting you, Mary Jane.

MARY JANE:  It was my pleasure!

PATRICIA:  Come on, let’s go.

PATRICIA/BOYS/TAMMY:  Goodbye!  (THEY EXIT)

FRANCINE/MARY JANE:  Goodbye.

FRANCINE:  Let’s get the rest of your luggage.

(As they exit, FRANCINE, who has set down her handbag to pick up several pieces of MARY JANE’S luggage, accidentally leaves the handbag onstage.  As they exit left they are intercepted by WILLIAM HENDERSON.)

WILLIAM:  I took care of the trunk, ma’am.  It will be delivered sometime today.

FRANCINE:  Oh, thank you so much.  Where is the baggage pick-up?

WILLIAM:   (Pointing)  Straight ahead, ma’am.  You can’t miss it!

FRANCINE:  You’ve been very helpful!  (SHE goes to tip him)  Here’s something for you… my purse!  Where did I leave my purse?  Oh dear, I might have left it by the train.  Come on, Mary Jane.  I hope I can find it!  (THEY EXIT left)

(After they have exited WILLIAM has spotted the purse down center and he calls after FRANCINE, but she’s too far away to hear him.)

WILLIAM:  Oh, ma’am… Ma’am!

BLACKOUT

SCENE III – THE KITCHEN OF ELIZA’S HOUSE

(We see ELIZA giving instructions to her cook, Mrs. Barbara Jenkins, a rotund and stern-looking woman in her sixties.)

ELIZA:  Now, just because my Niece will be staying with us a few days doesn’t mean I want the menus changed.

MRS. JENKINS:  Yes, ma’am, I just thought with a little girl staying here for the holidays that you might want a special meal prepared for Christmas day.

ELIZA:  Absolutely not!  Christmas is a day just like any other day.  No need for richly-prepared foods that cost a fortune and add to your waistline.  Revise these menus immediately and re-submit them for MY approval.  And no asparagus this time – much too expensive!  (SHE hands written menus back to MRS. JENKINS)

MRS. JENKINS:  Yes, ma’am.  I’m sorry to have upset you.

ELIZA:  Where is Francine?  I thought they’d be here by now!

MRS. JENKINS:  Maybe the Hansom cab is having trouble getting through the streets.  They’re pretty crowded, what with all the holiday shopping.

ELIZA:  Hansom cab?  Well, I most certainly did not authorize that.  If they took a cab they’re paying for it out of their own pockets!

MRS. JENKINS:  But how are they going to get here?  The train station is thirty-nine blocks away and they have luggage to carry.

ELIZA:  They’re young enough to walk!  And it’s a pleasant day, no rain.

MRS. JENKINS:  But it’s cold out!

ELIZA:  Cold weather’s good for you.  It gets the blood running.

(MRS. JENKINS shakes her head in bewilderment as she continues to revise the week’s menus from her table centerstage.  FRANCINE enters with MARY JANE in tow.)

FRANCINE:  (As SHE enters SHE speaks to an unseen person offstage) Thank you for the ride Mr. Evans.  

(MARY JANE looks around excitedly)

FRANCINE:  Mary Jane, this is your Aunt, Eliza Tupper.

MARY JANE:  (Curtsies)  I’m pleased to meet you.  A very Merry Christmas to you.

ELIZA:  Humph!  And why are you so merry?  Do you enjoy being an orphan?

FRANCINE:  (Shocked)  Mrs. Tupper!

MARY JANE:  (Unruffled)  I’m happy because I’m going to be living with you in this big, beautiful house.

ELIZA:  That remains to be seen. Turn around, child.  (MARY JANE turns around)  I didn’t think my brother had such a plain-looking girl.  

(FRANCINE glares at ELIZA)

MARY JANE:  (Innocently) You’re not exactly what I expected, either.  

(FRANCINE giggles)

ELIZA:  Well, really!

(MARY JANE runs into the next room and begins looking about.  She is followed in by ELIZA who is most puzzled.)

ELIZA:  What are you looking for?

MARY JANE:  Where’s your Christmas tree?

(During song ELIZA shoos MARY JANE out of the living room and back into the kitchen where she runs to FRANCINE for comfort)

SONG:  “CHRISTMAS”

ELIZA:  (Singing)

I DON’T SPEND MONEY FOOLISHLY

ON SUCH THINGS AS A CHRISTMAS TREE

WHICH IN A WEEK YOU HAVE TO THROW AWAY.

I DON’T BELIEVE IN GIVING PRESENTS,

EATING MEALS OF GEESE OR PHEASANTS,

JUST TO CELEBRATE A SINGLE DAY.

I DON’T SEE WHAT’S SO SPECIAL IN THIS SEASON

THAT CAUSES FOLKS TO LOSE THEIR SENSE OF REASON.

CHRISTMAS—

A TIME WHEN PEOPLE ALL FELL

THEY SHOULD SPEND MONEY FREELY

ON THINGS THAT THEY REALLY DON’T NEED.

CHRISTMAS—

A TIME WHEN ILL-BEHAVED GIRLS AND BOYS

CLAMOR FOR USELESS TOYS,

SHOWING THE DEPTH OF THEIR GREED.&lt

Mrs. Scrooge

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