Pride And Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice

Based on Jane Austen’s classic novel 

Pride and Prejudice

By 

Joyce Back

and

Marilyn Lowney

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

 Copyright 2005

by Joyce Back and Marilyn Lowney

All Rights Reserved

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Cast of Characters

Daisy ‘Daisy’ is a young housemaid in the Bennet household.

Emily ‘Emily’ is a young housemaid in the Bennet household.

Mrs. Hill ‘Mrs. Hill’ is the housekeeper for the Bennet family.

Wareham ‘Wareham’ is the coachman for the Bennet family.

Joshua ‘Joshua’ is a farm worker on the Bennet estate.

Marcus ‘Marcus’ is a farm worker on the Bennet estate.

Mrs. Bennet ‘Mrs. Bennet’ is the mistress of a small estate, Longbourn; age mid-40’s.

Jane Bennet ‘Jane’ is the eldest Bennet daughter; lovely and sweet, age 22.

Elizabeth Bennet ‘Elizabeth’ is the second-eldest Bennet daughter; charming and witty, age 20.

Mary Bennet ‘Mary’ is the third-eldest Bennet daughter; quiet and studious, age 18.

Catherine Bennet ‘Kitty’ is the fourth-eldest Bennet daughter; a bit whiny, age 17.

Lydia Bennett ‘Lydia’ is the youngest Bennet daughter; wild and uncontrollable, age 16.

Mr. Bennet ‘Mr. Bennet’ is the husband of Mrs. Bennet, sarcastic, humorous.

Mr. Collins ‘Mr. Collins’ is Mr. Bennet’s cousin; age 25; pompous and insensitive.

Charlotte Lucas ‘Charlotte’ is Elizabeth’s friend; practical, not romantic, age 27.

Fitzwilliam Darcy ‘Darcy’ is the wealthy master of a large estate, Pemberly.  Age 28.

Charles Bingley ‘Bingley’ is wealthy, good-natured, kind, and tolerant, age 26.

Caroline Bingley ‘Caroline’ is the sister of Charles Bingley, age about 22.

George Wickham ‘Wickham’ is a newly commissioned officer; handsome and debonair, age 28.

Xavier Denny ‘Denny’ is an officer and a friend of Wickham.

Lady Catherine ‘Lady Catherine’ is the highborn, wealthy mistress of a large estate, Rosings Park.

Georgiana Darcy ‘Georgiana’ is Mr. Darcy’s sister; sweet, shy, refined, and affectionate, age 18.

Scenes

Act One

Scene 1: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 2: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 3: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 4: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 5: The parlor at Netherfield.

Scene 6: The parlor at Netherfield.

Scene 7: The parlor at Netherfield.

Scene 8: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 9: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 10: The parlor at Longbourn.

Act Two

Scene 1: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 2: The parlor at Rosings.

Scene 3: The parlor at Rosings.

Scene 4: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 5: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 6: The parlor at Longbourn.

Scene 7: The parlor at Longbourn.

Pride and Prejudice

ACT I

Scene 1

SETTING:  It is early afternoon in late spring.  The setting is the parlor at Longbourn ( an early-19th century parlor).

AT RISE:  DAISY and EMILY are running back and forth, in and out.  There is a sense of excitement.

[Mrs. Hill enters, wiping her hands on her apron.  She looks about to make sure no one’s watching, then wearily sits down.  Wareham enters.]

Wareham:  Tired, lassie?  Is Mrs. Bennet ’aving her vapors again today?

Mrs. Hill:  Aye!  ’Ow she expects me to cook a dinner for company when I run up and down stairs all day to wait on her, I do not know!

Wareham:  Company tonight?  I ’eard nothing about it.

Mrs. Hill:  ’Tis Mr. Bennet’s cousin, a Mr. Collins.  There was a fight of some sort that’s now made up, and ’e’s coming to call on the whole family.

Wareham:  Mr. Collins!  Ant ’e the bloke what will inherit the estate when the master’s dead?

Mrs. Hill:  The one and the same!  And like as not, he’ll toss the lot of us out and bring in his own servants!

Wareham:  Aye!  And toss out the mistress and her girls as well!

[Suddenly a bell offstage rings loudly.  MRS. HILL grimaces in disgust.]

Mrs. Hill:  Daisy!  DAISY!

[Daisy hurries on stage.]

Daisy:  Yes, Mrs. ’ill?

Mrs. Hill:  Answer that bell, girl.  I’m too tired to walk up those stairs again.

Daisy:  But, Mrs. ’ill, the mistress will tell me to send YOU!

Mrs. Hill:  Go on with you!  ’Twill give me a few minutes rest.

[Daisy hurries offstage.  Joshua and Marcus come in and help themselves to water in a pitcher.  EMILY enters, carrying towels or other cleaning supplies.  DAISY reenters.]

Emily:  A fine lot of work for us to do for a visit from a country parson!

Joshua:  Aye, true indeed!

Mrs. Hill:  Mark my words; Mrs. Bennet is looking to marry one of the girls to the Reverend Mr. Collins!

Wareham:  Oh, aye!  She’d marry the girls to any man with a bit o’ coin in ’is pocket, eh?

[They all begin to laugh uproariously.  MRS. BENNET enters.]

Mrs. Bennet:  Here now!  Stop this raucous noise immediately!

Mrs. Hill:  I beg your pardon, Madam.

Mrs. Bennet:  Indeed you should!  I’ve been ringing for you this half-hour!  My health is very delicate, as you know, and I must not be subjected to…

[Enter JANE and ELIZABETH.]

Jane:  Mama!  I am going to fetch your tea.

Elizabeth:  Mrs. Hill is preparing a company dinner, remember?  She must be allowed time to create her exquisite dishes.  So come.  Jane and I will fetch whatever you need for the rest of the afternoon.

Mrs. Hill:  Thank you, dear Miss Elizabeth.

Mrs. Bennet:  Oh, very well.  But, you know, Lizzie, Mrs. Hill does have TWO very good housemaids to help her.  Lazy girls, I vow, but still…

[Jane, Elizabeth, and Mrs. Bennet exit, with Mrs. Bennet still talking.]

Mrs. Hill:  Angels, those two girls.  ’Ow they could be, I do not know, with such a mother!

Scene 2

               It is a few hours later in the parlor at Longbourn.  MARY is reading, and ELIZABETH is bending over her, as though pointing out something in the book to her.  Lydia, Jane, and Kitty are sitting or standing nearby.  MRS. BENNET is lounging on a sofa, perhaps popping chocolates into her mouth.

Mary:  [reading a poem, but not reading it well]  She walks in beauty like the night…

Lydia:  Mary, I have heard quite enough of Lord Byron!  When you read aloud, you sound like a piglet calling for its sow!

Jane:  Lydia, please!

Kitty:  ’Tis quite true!  Mary, you will never recite poetry as well as Lizzie!  And Lizzie has the poems of Byron memorized so she does not recite them with her nose buried in the book!

Mary:  Perhaps I could memorize them also if I were not constantly interrupted by your noise!

Mrs. Bennet:  Girls, please…your father is bringing Mr. Collins to dinner.  Do conduct yourselves like ladies!

Lydia:  Lizzie, since we are on the subject of poetry, I wish you would recite the poem called Destiny – the one that tells the story [looking meaningfully at her mother] of the maiden who would NOT marry the man chosen for her!

Mrs. Bennet:  Oh, my dear, your papa does not approve of that poem!

Mary:  And I agree with him!  Mama, tell Lydia to hold her tongue!

Lydia:  Oh, nonsense!  Papa is not here, so why should we concern ourselves with his opinion?  Please Lizzie!  We will recite the refrain, won’t we Kitty?

Kitty:  Yes, indeed!

Mary:  Oh, go ahead, Lizzie.  You can teach me another time when SHE is not about.

Jane:  Oh, do, Lizzie.  I confess the poem is a favorite of mine also.

Elizabeth:  [laughing]  Very well, but no one had better tell Papa.  [She recites the following poem dramatically, with movement and gestures.]

Once there lived a pretty maid

Far off, so people say

She was a willful lass, indeed

And liked to have her way

A gentleman fell deep in love

And made a bold demand

To marry her and be her love

And give his heart and hand

Alas alas, the maid did fly

And he heard her cry

Kitty, Lydia, Jane [reciting the refrain]:

Destiny, destiny

Will bring the perfect man to me

Never will I marry thee

So ride away and set me free

Gallop away over the hills

Gallop over the hills

Elizabeth: [reciting next stanza]

Time went on its merry way

But she would not accede

The gentleman rode by each day

To grovel and to plead…

Mrs. Bennet: [interrupting ELIZABETH and reciting meaningfully]

Her mama cried, ‘Think not of love

Stop gazing at the moon

Once you’re wed, you’ll fall in love

And sing a different tune’

Elizabeth:  [reciting]

Alas alas, the maid did fly

And he heard her cry

Lydia, Kitty, Jane:  [reciting the refrain]

Destiny, destiny

Will bring the perfect man to me

Never will I marry thee

So ride away and set me free

Gallop away over the hills

Gallop over the hills

[Enter MR. BENNET and MR. COLLINS.  MR. COLLINS surveys the scene, and his face registers his shock at such merriment.  MR. BENNET claps his hands to demand attention, and the merriment stops abruptly.  MRS. BENNET glances toward her husband and his guest and begins shushing the girls and straightening her attire and hair.]

Mr. Bennet:  [dryly; he is not really angry]  I thought I was entering my own parlor, but it seems we’ve stumbled into a theater-show instead.

Elizabeth:  I beg pardon, Papa, but we were simply practicing our…reading…

Mrs. Bennet:  ’Tis true, my dear.

Mr. Bennet:  [to MR. COLLINS]  Come, cousin, and meet the rest of the family while a modicum of quiet reigns.  My dear, may I introduce my cousin, the Reverend Mr. Collins.

Mrs. Bennet:  Delighted, Mr. Collins.

[Mr. COLLINS bows very formally.]

Mr. Collins:  The honor is mine, dear lady.

Mr. Bennet:  And these are my daughters.  My eldest, Jane – an angel amidst the chaos.  My second eldest, Elizabeth, who, I must add, is the cleverest of all my girls.  And here is Mary – very accomplished, I assure you.  And Catherine – otherwise known as Kitty because she hisses and scratches when angry.  And my youngest, the irrepressible Miss Lydia.

[Each daughter curtsies as she is introduced.]

Mr. Collins:  My dear sir!  Your daughters’ reputation for beauty falls very short of reality!  I congratulate you!  And you, my dear Mrs. Bennet!

[MR.. BENNET rolls his eyes, but MRS. BENNET is delighted with the remark.]

Mrs. Bennet:  Thank you, sir.  Thank you indeed.  Mr. Bennet mentioned that your patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, is in favor of your marrying.  [conspiratorially]  I hope you do not forget us when you choose a wife!

Mr. Collins:  Indeed, madam.  Her ladyship has declared on several occasions that she will VISIT my wife when I bring her home to Rosings Parsonage.  Such a boon to offer the woman which I choose to share my life!  To be visited by the Right Honorable Lady Catherine de Bourgh!

[He pauses in rapture.  The girls raise their eyes, and MR. BENNET coughs to stifle laughter.]

Mrs. Bennet:  You are very fortunate indeed in your situation in life, Mr. Collins!

Mr. Collins:  That is very true, madam.  Lady Catherine de Bourgh herself remarked something similar.  Mr. Collins, she declared, you have every advantage of air, appearance, respectability, and residence.  So pray do not throw yourself away on an inferior young lady.

Mrs. Bennet:  Well, I do declare that any of my daughters would have the good sense to appreciate such a situation as you can offer, Mr. Collins.

Mr. Collins:  Indeed, madam, I come prepared to admire your daughters.  In order to begin the delightful process of endearing myself to the Miss Bennets, I have brought a book with me and intend to read to them.

Mrs. Bennet:  A novel?  Mr. Collins, I am quite shocked!

Mr. Collins:  A novel!  No indeed!  I would not insult them with such words and descriptions as are found in novels.  I have with me a copy of Fordyce’s Lectures.

[The girls look at each other in dismay.  LYDIA steps quickly forward.]

Lydia:  Mama, I have just recalled that I promised Maria Lucas to dine with her.  I must go now or she will be worried quite out of her mind.

Mrs. Bennet:  What!  I do not remember your speaking of such an invitation!

Lydia:  Well!  I was so excited by the prospect of meeting Mr. Collins…[she curtsies flirtatiously]…that it went quite out of my head.  But now I really must run.  There are officers from Colonel Forster’s regiment dining with the Lucases, also, and I would not wish to insult them by being late.

Mrs. Bennet:  [suddenly interested]  Officers!  Oh, no indeed!  Go along then, and give my regards to Lady Lucas.

Kitty:  Lydia, you forget that I was included in the invitation!

Lydia:  Oh, how silly of me!  Of course!  Come, Kitty, we must hurry!

[LYDIA and KITTY run out of the room before their parents can object.]

Mr. Bennet:  Officers!  That is all we hear of since the regiment quartered in Meryton.  I declare, my dear, our two youngest are the silliest girls in the country!

Mrs. Bennet:  My dear!  Do not call your own children silly!  What will Mr. Collins think?

Mr. Collins:  [closing his book]  Oh, I assure you, I find them very delightful.  A little discipline, perhaps, will make them quite perfect.

Mrs. Bennet:  [full of her own ideas of whom he should marry]  Mr. Collins, I have one daughter who needs no such discipline.  Mary, come sit here by Mr. Collins and recite to him the scriptures you have memorized.

Mary:  Yes, Mama, but I do not have them quite memorized yet.  Perhaps we could go into the library, where I might have the advantage of Papa’s bible…if I forget a line…

Mrs. Bennet:  Yes, indeed!  Come, Mr. Collins!

[MR. COLLINS, MRS. BENNET, MR. BENNET, AND MARY exit.  MR. COLLINS looks wistfully back at ELIZABETH and JANE, for he is much more willing to admire them than to hear MARY recite.]

Elizabeth:  Oh, dear, what an odious man is Mr. Collins!  He ought not to be a clergyman, for he appears to have no notion of Christian humility.

Jane:  Oh, Lizzie, I am sure he is a very good man.  We cannot all have the…personal charm that you yourself possess.

Elizabeth:  You speak so because you are the not the one who is expected to marry him – poor Mary!  But what if you were?  How would you feel if that were the case?

Jane:  Oh dear.  How concisely you state the matter.  Perhaps… perhaps I would not be able to love him…but…that does not mean…

Elizabeth:  I am afraid, dear sister, that love has little to do with our fates.  We will be sold to the highest bidder.

Jane:  Lizzie!

Elizabeth:  ’Tis true.  We have no dowry.  Most men cannot afford to marry us.

Jane:  No.  I cannot believe that is true.  I feel certain that someday I will fall in love.  And I will not care if he is rich or poor.

Elizabeth:  Perhaps not.  But he will care if you are.

Jane:  No.  If he were such a type, I would not fall in love with him in the first place.

Elizabeth:  Oh Jane.  You are such a romantic!

Jane:  Yes, I suppose I am. But in your own way, you are every bit as romantic as I am.

Elizabeth:  No indeed!

Jane:  ’Tis true.  You would not marry without love, any more than I.

Elizabeth:  Quite right.  But I do not believe that I shall ever have the opportunity to marry FOR love.  There lies the difference between us.

Jane:  No, I will not admit such a difference.  I see you in the evening gazing into the fire…walking to a window to look at the stars…and you’ve been known to read some very romantic poetry…especially when Mama is not watching!

Elizabeth:  Perhaps I have a little dream of romance…but I know it is just a dream.

[MRS. HILL enters, looking about cautiously.]

Jane:  Come in, Mrs. Hill.  Mama has taken Mr. Collins to the library to listen to Mary recite scripture.

Mrs. Hill:  Oh my!  Does this mean that Miss Mary…?

Elizabeth:  Is the chosen one to become the wife of Mr. Collins?  I am afraid so.

[WAREHAM, DAISY, EMILY, MARCUS, AND JOSHUA enter.]

Jane:  It is important to remember that Mr. Collins is a very respectable man…and Mary would not marry him without affection, I am sure.

Wareham:  ’E’s a persnickety man, Miss Jane, mark my words.

Joshua:  Aye, ’e’s got ’is nose in the air!  Miss Mary be too good for ’im!

Emily:  I wouldn’t marry ’im if ’e should beg me!

Marcus:  ’E’s a toff, girl!  ’E wouldn’t be weddin’ the like of you!

Daisy:  I wouldn’t marry ’im neither!

Jane:  Pray keep your voices down!  He will hear you!

Elizabeth:  [laughing]  I do believe there is one point upon which we can all agree…

Everyone together:  Poor Mary!

[MRS. HILL, WAREHAM, DAISY, EMILY, MARCUS, JOSHUA, JANE, and ELIZABETH all exit.]

[LYDIA and KITTY enter.]

Kitty:  Are they quite gone, Lydia?

Lydia:  Yes!  Come, Kitty!  We can stay in the parlor until we hear Mama returning.

Kitty:  [giggling]  If Jane and Lizzie had thought as quickly as we did, they might have escaped too.  But we’re going to get very hungry, Lydia, hiding in the garden until bedtime!

Lydia:  No indeed.  We shall sneak up to the kitchen door, and Mrs. Hill will give us bread and cheese.  And wine!

Kitty:  Wine!  No!  Mrs. Hill will tell Mama!

Lydia:  No, she will not.  I am her pet; she told me so herself.  She said, ‘Miss Lydia, you’re the only girl ’ere what’s got any spunk!’

Kitty:  Well, I have spunk too!  And I certainly do not want to listen to Mr. Collins.  I did not like the way he looked at us!

Lydia:  I did not either!  But…there are other men who may admire me if they choose…

Kitty:  Mr. Denny!  And Mr. Wickham!

Lydia:  Yes!  [they giggle]

Kitty:  Lydia, what do you think it would be like…to be kissed by a man like Mr. Wickham?

Lydia:  I hope I find out before I’m too old to care!

Kitty:  That’s wicked!  If you kiss a man, you could be disgraced!

Lydia:  Nonsense!  I wish to have some pleasure in life before I’m married off to a Mr. Collins!  If I must be sold like a hog at market, I can at least have a little amusement first!

Kitty:  Lydia!

[Suddenly LYDIA and KITTY hear the sound of voices.  They quickly exit.]

Scene 3

It is the next morning.  MRS. BENNET is in the parlor at Longbourn.  MR. COLLINS enters.

Mrs. Bennet:  Good morning, Mr. Collins.  I trust you slept well?

Mr. Collins:  I must confess that my sleep was interrupted by a most delightful insomnia!  My dear madam, I hope I will not procure your disfavor if I prevail upon you to allow me a private conference this morning with your fair daughter…

Mrs. Bennet:  [interrupting him]  Oh!  Yes indeed!  I will call Mary at once…!

Mr. Collins:  …Elizabeth.

Mrs. Bennet:  Elizabeth?

Mr. Collins:  Yes, Miss Elizabeth!  I am determined to make an offer to her which, I trust, will be entirely acceptable to her delicate sensibilities.  And to yours, madam.

Mrs. Bennet:  Oh dear.  Miss Elizabeth!  Well!  I will call her at once.  DAISY!

[DAISY enters.]

Mrs. Bennet:  Summon Miss Elizabeth to the parlor.

Daisy:  Yes madam.  [She exits.]

[ELIZABETH enters.]

Elizabeth:  Yes, Mama?

Mrs. Bennet:  My dear, Mr. Collins wishes to speak with you on a very important matter.  [She begins to exit.]

Elizabeth:  Mama!  Please do not go away.  Mr. Collins would have nothing to say to me that you must not hear, I am sure.

Mrs. Bennet:  Do not be foolish, Lizzie.

Elizabeth:  Pray excuse me, Mr. Collins.  I must leave you.  I have an engagement with a friend…

Mr. Collins:  Miss Elizabeth, your modesty…

Mrs. Bennet:  Lizzie!  You will stay and hear Mr. Collins!  [She exits.]

[ELIZABETH walks to a chair and sits very straight, with an air of waiting.  MRS. HILL, WAREHAM, DAISY, EMILY, MARCUS and JOSHUA appear on the sides of the stage.  They watch the action and react to it.]

Mr. Collins:  Miss Elizabeth, you can hardly be in doubt as to my intentions.  I have decided to make you my wife, and lest yo

Pride And Prejudice

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