The Miniscule Chronicles

The Miniscule Chronicles

 Legend of the Hudson Valley Gnomes   

                                                      by 

Nicholas  Conti

The Grand Wizard

The Miniscule Chronicles

 Copyright 2010  

by 

Nicholas Conti

All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that THE MINISCULE CHRONICLES is subject to a royalty.  It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union.  All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, and the rights of translation into foreign language are strictly reserved. 

The amateur live stage performance rights to THE MINISCULE CHRONICLES  are controlled exclusively by Drama Source and royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation.  

PLEASE NOTE that amateur royalty fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances.  When applying for a royalty quotation and license please give us the number of performances intended and dates of production.  Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to Drama Source Co., 1588 E. 361 N., St. Anthony, Idaho 83445, unless other arrangements are made.  

Royalty of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for charity or gain, and whether or not admission is charged.  For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to Drama Source Company, 1588 E. 361 N. St. Anthony, Idaho 83445.

Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by law, and the right of performance is not transferable.

Whenever the play is produced, the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play, “Produced by special arrangement with Drama Source Co.”

Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and advertising for the play.

No one shall commit or authorize any act or omission by which the copyright or the rights to copyright of this play may be impaired.

No one shall make changes in this play for the purpose of production without written permission.

Publication of this play does not imply availability for performance.    Both amateurs and professionals considering a production are strongly advised in their own interests to apply to Drama Source Company for written permission before starting rehearsals, advertising, or booking a theatre.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, now known or yet to be invented, including mechanical, electronic, photocopying, recording, videotaping or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.Characters

Description:  children, elementary school age, including kindergarten  could play all Mini roles except for 1 adult M;  The Grand Old Wizard.  With the siblings Jon and Sam played by slightly older students.  Multiple children can be dressed as animals; bears/cubs, deer, woodchucks, mountain lions, squirrels, raccoons, beaver etc. And are involved in discussion as animal bystanders and  react with gestures and animal noises. Costumes can be impressionistic & partial.

Mini Characteristics:

Physique:  Small to medium in height.

Attributes: Strong, agile, can disappear, smart, clever, crafty, live long (hundreds of yrs.)   friendly, helpful, wary; healers, friends to animals, people & Indians! Prefer to work at night undetected.  Distant relatives of the Gnomes/Leprechauns.  Are entertaining little people, frequently enacting their Stories and History.

Wizard:  (Grand Old); Adult-Male: Narrator, friendly, well liked and Sage is 500 yrs old and  leader of Minis.

Minis:  Numbered 1 through 12, used to refer to them.  Age approx. K thru 6 th grade, 

6 F; 6 M.  or gender flexible.   

Mini Ha HA:  Young Mohican Indian girl, friend to the Minis. Dresses like an Indian. 

Jon:    (Jonathan)  I Boy: Sib. A bit bigger than the Minis. Bright, pleasant, caring.

Sam:  (Samantha) 1 Girl-Sib. Younger than Jon, bright, funny, pleasant, caring.

Angus:  M-Mini, smart, clever and funny. (Mature Mini), played by a child.

Angie:  F-Mini, smart, clever, friendly, and funny. (Mature Mini) played by child.

Blazer: M/F-Mini, smart, rough, and friendly.  (Mature Mini) played by child.

Animal: (Bystanders) 2 Bear Cubs, animals of the wood, deer, woodchucks, Mt. Lions, raccoons, possum, coyotes, etc.

Bertha Bear:  Brown Mother Bear  and her 2 cubs appear in final scene.Time: The Present. In late summer.

Place:  The Historic Hudson Valley.

Production Notes:

Costumes:  Wizard Costume, a little more elaborate than the others with a special Mini decorated Wizard hat.  Use a lot of greens & browns in all Mini outfits with some highlighting bright colors.  There are 12  young Mini-Gnome outfits, 3 adult Minis  outfits, with the males wearing breeches,  boots; pointy colorful hats. The girls have long rustic dresses with a dash of color for everyone, and a stylized Bertha (Mother) Bear and 2 Bear cubs, and a flock of miscellaneous animals of  the woods in stylized and abbreviated costumes.

Makeup:  Ruddy outdoor, Gnome like-red cheeks, wigs,(?) Beards?

Scenic Design:   Wooded forest Backdrop, bushes and trees, a log or 2, U.S.C. a campfire, firewood.  Forrest, set piece or 2, a few bushes and perhaps a tree stump D.S.C.  that the Wizard can stand or sit on, and later General Washington Mini can stand on, it’s on a river shore…

Lighting: Outdoor, Sunny, later darkness sets in during the Sibling scene.

Sound:  Animal: SFX: Coyote, Animal crashing through the woods.

Props:  Tree Stump, Baby rattle,  ? bugle,  The Mini Green Book  (large & thick & green), 2 stout cane like walking sticks (Branches),  bandages, food, apple, banana, snacks, water bottles, 2 kid’s  school-knapsacks. 

The Miniscule Chronicles

One Act Play… One Continuous Scene

Setting:  A rustic Forrest on the Hudson River shore with a clearing D.S.C. and campfire Upstage Center.  

At Rise: It’s a sunny, late summer morning and  The Grand Wizard  wanders onto D. S.C. carrying The Mini Green Book, joined by the Minis animal friends and gradually joined by young Minis and Mini Ha Ha, as they sleepily wander on yawning and stretching, while singing “Green Leaves,” Unaccompanied.  (To the tune of Green Sleeves.) Then leisurely gather round on their haunches or sit on logs. When all have arrived the Wizard smilingly takes a mental attendance!  Satisfied, he gets their attention and tells the Miniscules’ story entertainingly from the beginning. Minis are active in discussion; also clowning and doing cartwheels etc.  

        Green Leaves

A-las! the Mi-nis can do no wro-ng. 

They tend the an-i-mals; Birds of Song.

And we have li-ved here, Oh so Lo-ng, 

Tak-ing care of the For-rest Green-ery.

(Chorus) Green Lea—ves do bring us j-o-y. 

Clear wa-t-er is our delight! 

Big-otry i-s nev-er r-ight.  

We are proud to b-e  Mini-scules. 

Wizard (Head Mini): Well done! And Good Morning sleepy toadstools, er… Miniscules!

All Minis:  (Yawning, stretching!) Toadstools! Ha Ha Ha!

Wizard:  I hope you’re  awake!

All Minis:   (Adlibs, more yawns.) Sure!  Moan! Mumble! Of course! You bet!

Wizard:  Glad to hear it!

All Minis:  (Adlibs) You bet…Sure! 

Wizard:   (Loudly claps his hands.) Where shall we start?

Mini 1:  At the beginning Mr. Wizard please! For us new Mini-kids!

Mini Ha Ha:  And me a Mohican Indian one of the Mini’s new friends!

Mini 2:  This here’s  Mini Ha Ha!

Wizard:  Pleased to meet ya!

Mini Ha Ha: Likewise, Sir! 

Mini 3:   I’m tired of starting at the beginning!

Mini 4:   Plug your ears then!

Mini 3:  (Shoves Mini 4)

Mini 4:  (Shoves back!)

Mini 3:  Hey! That hurt!

Wizard:  Now is that anyway to behave in front of your new Indian pal, Mini Ha Ha?  

Minis 3 & 4:  Naaaah! We’re sorry!  (As they continue shoving.)

Wizard: So… Stop!  Or I’ll just have to sit on both of you! Come on! We’re Minis, always peaceful, and helpful right? (No response. Firmly.) Right? 

All Minis:  Yes Sir!  We’re always peaceful, and helpful! (Joking,, a few bow to him.) Oh wonderful Wizard!

Mini 5:  Sometimes!  

All Minis:  (Breaking up at this.) Ha ha ha! Ho Ho Ho! (Clap hands, give high fives.) 

Wizard:   (Loudly) At all times! And it’s Grand  Wizard!  And don’t you forget it! 

All Minis:  (Playful but respectful; they like him.) Yes Sir!  Oh Grand… Old Wizard!

Wizard:  That’s better! And yes I’m 500 years old but I can still catch you youngsters!  Aaaand! With one leg tied behind my back!

All Minis:   (Laugh). Yes Sir!  (Suddenly they all run rings around him as he pretends he can’t catch them. Then he catches 2 by the collar and reigns them in!)

Wizard:   Next time I’ll sit on you!  Yes, I’m the Grand Old Wizard! And may not be young, but I’m certainly Grand!  Because, you little rascals!  I’m one of the smartest, (flexes his arm) and strongest of the Minis; and have style!  Though I sometimes lose track of time, up here in the mountains.  It’s the altitude, not attitude, the air being thinner up here affects my memory.  And Guardian and Keeper of you; the Woodlands, and its creatures.  And like the Indians have always been interested in Global Warming, and keeping the Environment Green!  It’s always been our practice never to harm a tree, plant, or bee, and help our human, and animal friends!…  

All Minis:  Sir Tell us a tale!— Tell us a tale!

Wizard: Patience little ones!  Now then this is an open Pow Wow.  If you have a question ask it; something good to add, say it! (Change-up.) So relax, have a good time!  And let’s start our exciting tale with the Legend of Brendan the Navigator-Monk; born 488 AD, near the Irish city of Tralee; who possibly discovered North America, before the Vikings and Columbus, but never got credit for it. 

Mini 6:  Sir where did he find time to go on long sea journeys and be a Monk too?    

Wizard:  Through his great energy and ambition!  And like me, must-a-been a likeable leader! And like us, used his time wisely!  Any of you wisenjammers have any ideas about why we’re small and about our heritage?

Mini 7:  Sure Sir!  You once said; (mimics the Wizard) ‘ It’s not widely  known, but Brendan believed in The Little People; Gnomes and Leprechauns, and their magic! And decided to have them colonize a far off land; asking for volunteers.

Mini 8:  How’d they come to call themselves Miniscules or Minis? (Minies.)

Wizard:  By popular vote when they reached the New Land…

Mini 9:  They weren’t  (skeptical) really volunteers, were they?

Wizard:  It says so right here in Our Green Book! But not in That ancient Book of Explorations, called the Voyage of St. Brendan, written 700  A.D.

Mini 10:  So like, when did they get here?

Wizard:  (Mimics him.) So like, it’s hard to say, but the roundtrip journey took seven years, on what was thought to be a flat earth. 

Mini 11:  Was it really flat?

Mini 12:  Nah!  You goose!  It just looked flat! 

Mini 11:  Just wondering!  

Wizard:   A journey where they saw sea monsters (acts like a monster about to attack.) that had horns coming out of their faces, so they thought…  Or were they Walrus?  

Mini 12:   (Like a bolt out of the blue,) That’s it Mr. Wizard! You told us that; and Walrus like to float around on ice flows! 

Wizard:  That’s right!  What about those  stories of  terrible fiery mountains?…

Mini 1:  Exploding volcanoes Sir?

Wizard: Right! And I suppose they wuz daydreaming when they saw huge islands of ice?

Mini 2:  Nooo!  They were  (gestures) Icebergs as tall as this building!

Wizard:  Here’s one that’s sure to stump you young’ens! … (Very mysteriously.) What about them furreee lookiiiing men?

Mini 3:  Naaah! Those were just Eskimos wearing  furs and mukluks to keep warm! 

Wizard:  Whew! You’re a smart and sassy bunch and a credit to the Clan.  So you can see he had lots to report when they got back home!  Of the details of their journey  as they ventured from Island to Island, onto what he called God’s stepping stones. 

Mini 4:  (Laugh)  How dumb! A flat earth with stepping stones! Ha ha!  

Mini 5:  Yeah, really dumb! Ha ha!

Wizard:  They believed it…You see toadstools, they weren’t as smart as you think you are!

Mini 6:  If it was flat didn’t they know you’d go splat! And fall right off it?

Mini 7:  Into the jaws of hungry sea monsters who’d gobble them up! … 

All Minis:  (Go ballistic, here and act and make noises like Monsters gobbling up one another!)

Wizard:   (Jokingly commands.) Enough of that stuff!  Why you’re acting just like Sea Monsters! Stop!  or I shall feed you to the giant crabs in the river. (They Stop!) You see they were a brave and carefree lot!…  Had to be, to venture out to sea in a 36 foot long boat covered with skins and fastened together with leather bindings, and made of trees with crude sails

Mini 8:  What was it called?

Wizard: A Currah … 

Mini Ha Ha:  Sir Indians used canoes, made of bark or hollowed logs but  we didn’t have to go over stormy oceans with monsters!

Wizard:  They might-a canoed over the Bearing Sea and hiked over the land bridge from Siberia; thousands of years ago.

Mini Ha Ha:  Really!?

Wizard:  May be so!   Anyway Brendan, crew, and the Minis, now many months out of Ireland,  continued Island hopping; went on to Iceland; then Greenland, and stayed awhile. Then discovered the Northern Coast of North America, and landed on what is now called Newfoundland; but the Indians weren’t too friendly toward them; till they realized the Minis had great healing powers and brought them good luck! Gradually  the Minis considered it was too darn cold for them there! 

Mini 9:  Brrrhhh!  I don’t blame them!

Mini 10:  Me neither! 

Mini 11:  Nor I!

Mini 12:  Me also!   

Wizard:  (Shivers)  Exactly! 

Mini Ha Ha:  We Indians are used to the cold, Sir!

Wizard:  I know!

Mini 1:  Then what?

Wizard:  They went South!  

Mini 2:  Like Mini Beach Florida?  

Wizard:  That’s Miami Beach! And, No!  You’re too far South!

Mini 2:  So where then?

Wizard:  If you darlins would just let me continue!….

Mini 3:  Sure go right ahead!   

Mini 4:  We don’t mind!                           

Wizard:  To the (Mo-hi-can-i-tuk) Mohicanituk (Hudson) Valley!

Mini 5:  How’d they find out about it?

Mini 6: Did they know how beautiful it is here?

Mini 7:  With (uses grand movements,) great mountains and views and stuff!

Wizard:  Sure! They heard those tales from the Indians and that there was a plentiful food supply and fishing. 

Mini Ha Ha: Our Chief says our songs tell of how beautiful the valley is and that it’s on a magical  River that flows two ways, so they too decided to…

Mini 8: Settle here!  

Mini 9:  Yeah they heard of this place where the Sun always shines and the fish are as big as logs! And the animals friendly!

Mini 10:  That would be the big Striped Bass and the Sturgeon!

Mini 11:  Yeah!  Sturgeons are like logs! 

Mini Ha Ha:  But the Sun doesn’t always shine here!

Wizard: No that was a myth! But it does shine a lot!  It’s not exactly the land of milk and honey but the Indians prospered here. 

Mini Ha Ha:  With plenty of game, and where the rivers and streams run clear and cool! 

Mini 12:  So then they came South?

Wizard:  Will ya let me tell my story kids!

All Minis:  (Adlibs) Oh sure!  Sorry!…Go right ahead!

Wizard:  Thanks!  So the Minis, packed up and went south by canoe, by hitching a ride with the Indians  who were off to visit their relatives in the Mohicanituk River Valley.

Mini 1:  Hitched a ride with Indians? You gotta be kidding!

Mini Ha Ha: Why not?  We’re great at canoeing, hunting, and fishing. 

Wizard:  I know!  Now then, you creative little buzzards; I want to see you improvise what you think they saw!   How they helped the Indians pack the gear, and paddle those canoes…

      (In this sequence they pantomime  packing the canoe with these supplies.)

Mini 2:  For one they took lotsa food for the journey!

Mini 3:  Fishing gear, hand lines, hooks, and nets.

Mini 4:  Cooking things, flint & steel, and tinder for starting fires.

Mini 5:  Right! And hunting gear like spears, bows, and arrows.

Mini 6:  What about teepees, and bed rolls?!

       (Minis continue to pantomime and follow instructions.)

Wizard:  Good thinking! Now! don’t forget to cover the gear to keep it from getting wet in the canoes!   Also! what do you suppose our ancestors made certain they stowed  aboard those canoes that were loaded with furs and skins the Indians planned to give as gifts to their cousins in the Mohicanituk Valley. 

Mini 7:   Miniscules Green Book?

Mini 8:   How about clothes!  Wrapped in oiled skins to keep’em dry!

Mini 9:  Seed for plantin’ and tools for farmin.’

Wizard:  You’re all right!

Mini 10:  And vitals (Vi-tulz) for eating.

Wizard: Well done!…  Now let’s see how you paddle your imaginary canoes!… We’ll do it by the numbers Mini 1 & Mini 2 get in canoe number One, Mini 3 & 4 in Canoe umber 2 , etc., till you fill all six imaginary canoes. One Mini in the bow! (Front.)  The other in the stern! (Back.) Paddling opposite one another and together!…  Got it?

All Minis:  Yes Sir!

Wizard:  (Lively!) When I say Stroke!… Ya do it like pros! Understand?  Alright Minis all together now!  Ster-roke!……Ster-roke!…… That’s the ticket!  Keep it up!  We only have another thousand miles to go!

All Minis:  A thousand miles?!?

Wizard:  (More lively.) Steer-roke!……Ster-roke!…… That’s the idea!  You learn fast!  Imagine we’ve gone hundreds of miles and we’re nearing our destination in the Mohicanituk Valley… And the Indians, all excited shout we’ve  arrived, and crunch, crunch you land on the beach!  What then?… Show me some excitement here! 

Minis 1 to 4:  We go Crazy! (Do cartwheels and make crazy faces.)

Minis 5 to 8:  ( Scream & holler, jump up and down!) Hooray! Yay!

Minis 9 to 12: Dance and twirl till we fall dizzy to the ground!

Mini 1:  (Takes command of Group1.)  Now hear this Minis 2-3-4-5-6 are in Group 1 with me! Step over here! And let’s look for a place to settle, farm and be safe!  And bring all the gear!

Mini Group 1:  (All; kidding him. ) Yes your Miniship !  (Pantomime carrying gear.)

Mini 7:  (Takes command of group 2.) All other hands turn to; Minis 8-9-10-11-12 step over here with me with your gear Group 2, and be lively!  

Mini Group 2:  (All; kidding him.) Yes Captain! (Pantomime carrying gear.)

Wizard:  Excellent!  And off went our forefathers to search for the best location!   Now relax Minis and listen up!…  This Valley was ideal for us.  Sure it snowed here in winter and the River froze up so you could walk across to the other side…But to us, it was like Shangri-la!

Mini 7:  So we settled here?

Wizard:  You bet! And listen to these names, where we built homes on Mt. Beacon and Breakneck Mt.  Anthony’s Nose, Bear Mt., and Storm King Mt…  And made friends with the  Indians and animals.  Who soon got to know them as healers.  And because they had a special language gift they called Babel were able to communicate with Birds, Bees, Trees and… 

Mini 8:  Fleas?

All Minis:  (Laugh)

Wizard:  Yes Wisenjammer! And animals too!  Why they fished their little hearts out; even made friends with the mighty Sturgeon fish who they used to saddle up and ride on the River.

Mini 9:  Bet they got their feet wet!?

Wizard:  I won’t even touch that one!

Mini 10:   Did they hunt?

Wizard:  Nooo!  The Minis were friends with the animals! And vegetarians who ate fish from the rivers, lakes, and streams.  Now when the friendly Wappingers Indians, related to the more  hostile Mohicans; got to know the Minis better they felt we were a lucky omen! So it worked out real well for everybody, because  we looked out for one another. What their Medicine man (sort of a doctor) couldn’t cure, our herbs and remedies could! 

Mini Ha Ha:  My Chief  said, some of our remedies worked real well; some of yours did too, so we  combined them,  and it helped all of us.  It was kind of a health care plan!

Wizard:  Very true!

Mini 11:  What do ya figure they saw when they got here, Sir ? Like were there big trees and fish hoping outa the water into their frying pans?

All Minis:  (Laugh)

Wizard:  I don’t want to bore you kids with too many details!  But no fish ever jumped into my fry pan!  All I say is:  We came! We saw! We hunkered down!  

Mini 12:  Did my forefathers and mothers see Henry Hudson sail up river on the Half Moon, Wizard? … Like were Minis here then?

Wizard:  Of course! Minis even waved to them but they never saw us Little People!  Legend has it that when the Half Moon was right down there (points) near where the Bear Mt. Bridge is now; one of the crew noticed a Mountain that looked like a nose,  so he named it Anthony’s nose, after his own!  Maybe because he had a snootful of Grog!  (Rum).  Hear tell he got so excited!… Leaped right up and did a sailor’s hornpipe dance till he fell flat on his own nose!

Mini 1:  (Leaps up and does a little dance.) Like this!? 

Wizard:  Yeah!… Then tootled his trumpet at it!

Mini 2:  Like this! ( improvises.)

Wizard:  Some swear Anthony’s Nose, tootled right back in honor of Henry Hudson!

Mini Ha Ha:  HO! HO! Now that’s funny! 

Wizard:  Enough with the Ho Ho’s!  Mini Ha Ha!                              

Mini 3:  Is it true when there was a long drought and danger of fire, the Minis would come to the top of the fire tower on Mt. Beacon to look around for themselves. Because they trusted the Forest Ranger up there with their lives!  

Wizard: Why sure! And when we had a Forest  Fire, we’d watch the flames burning on the Mountains, while he’d talk by radio and give commands to his firefighters, always keeping watch with his binoculars.  And we being nervous would ask his advice on where to hole up till it burnt itself out, so’s not to get barbecued. And he’d  quietly calm our fears;  and tell us not to worry that they were in good hands!… His!  He had great rapport  with us Minis and we loved him … Used to tell us how the Valley people were envious of his closeness to us. And told us to beware!  For a few of them wanted to make Mini Pie or Stew of us!  But he’d never let that happen!  

Mini 4:  Is it true in the outside world Minis are the valley’s best kept secret.  Like flying saucers! If everybody knew about us it would cause nosy people to snoop around lookin’ for trouble!… Catch-us—put us in a Cir-cus!  And charge to see us.! (Hawk it!)   “Come see a Mini only 20 bucks!  20 bucks to see a Mini! 

Mini 5:  (Hawking) See how short they are!

Mini 6:  (Hawking) See’m walk,  hear’m talk! 

Mini 7: That’s what would’ve happened if the Ranger was a blabber mouth!  They should’a known by then that we Minis are always doing good. But if word started buzzin’ round the valley about us, why we’d be overrun by curiosity seekers!. 

Wizard:  Who’d destroy the tranquility of our beautiful valley.   

Mini 8:  Sir!  A question! Why do people like to make fun of us Little people, with names like Dwarf, and Midget?   Just because we’re small?…  We have feelings too!  

Mini 9:  Makes you wonder, don’t it?  Especially when you hear of recent discoveries, that the remains of little people and elephants

The Miniscule Chronicles

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