Reverse Psychology or Beasty Girl

Reverse Psychology

or

Beasty Girl

A two act comedy

By

Deborah A. Hodge

Reverse Psychology

 Copyright 2015

by Deborah Hodge

All Rights Reserved

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY is subject to a royalty.  It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union.  All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, and the rights of translation into foreign language are strictly reserved. 

The amateur live stage performance rights to REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY are controlled exclusively by Drama Source and royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation.  PLEASE NOTE that amateur royalty fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances.  When applying for a royalty quotation and license please give us the number of performances intended and dates of production.  Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to Drama Source Co., 1588 E. 361 N., St. Anthony, Idaho 83445, unless other arrangements are made.  

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Cast  

Kelsey Houston is a graduate assistant in her early twenties. She is very intelligent and attractive. She is earning her Masters degree in psychology. She dislikes her co-assistant Trey Renfro very much.

Trey Renfro (is usually referred to as Renfro throughout the play) is a graduate assistant in his early twenties. He is very handsome. He is earning his Masters degree in psychology as well. He baits Kelsey constantly with insults and snide remarks.

Professor Conway is Kelsey and Renfro’s cooperating professor. Professor Conway is very displeased with the way Kelsey and Renfro treat each other. With the help of a colleague, the professor devises a plan to teach them a lesson. (A male or female can portray Professor Conway’s character.)

Natalie is Kelsey’s roommate and is roughly the same age as Kelsey.

Corey is Renfro’s roommate and is roughly the same age as Renfro.

Steve Arkell is Renfro’s dysfunctional project. With a very nasal voice, he appears to be the nerd of all nerds. In actuality, he is a graduate student in psychology who is helping Professor Conway teach Renfro and Kelsey a lesson.

Tabitha Sandoval is Kelsey’s dysfunctional project. Will black hair, clothes, makeup and all of the accessories, she appears to be “scary” Goth. In actuality, she is a graduate student in psychology who is helping Professor Conway teach Renfro and Kelsey a lesson.

Austin is Kelsey’s boyfriend in Act I Scene 1. He is handsome and compliant.

Livie Johnson is a college student who has a crush on Renfro.

Guests at the Parties-Bit Parts/ Walk on Parts

Cole and Clay are college students looking for a date during the 1st party and no lines during the second party.

Jackie, Cori, Megan, Precious, Kate, Megan, Tia, Kim, Alyssa, Kristen, Jessica are college students who have a crush on Renfro. Each has one or more lines during the 1st party and no lines during the second party.

Tim, Eric, Adam, Von are guests at the parties. No lines.

  Act I Scene 1

Setting: The scene begins at Professor Conway’s House where he/she is giving a reception for a distinguished colleague who is visiting the campus. Among the guesses are professors, students, and graduate assistants from the university. As the scene begins, guests are mingling. A group of girls, including Natalie, is conversing with two male students as Trey Renfro; a young male graduate assistant enters. The girls exhibit great interest and excitement as he enters. Standing next to the girls is Kelsey Houston, also a graduate assistant, accompanied by her boyfriend, Austin. Kelsey has an intense dislike for Renfro. She observes with disgust as the girls drool over Renfro.

Cole: (to Hannah) How about going out with me Saturday night?

Clay: (to Cori) How about we make it a double date?

(Before Hannah can answer, Renfro enters.) 

Hannah: (excited) Oohhhh! 

Kristen: (turns head to see the cause of Hannah’s reaction) Is he here?

Hannah: (taking a deep breath as she nods) He’s here.

Natalie: (with great curiosity) Who’s here?

Cori: (with great admiration) Mr. Dreamy.

(Cole and Clay roll their eyes and shake their heads in frustration.)

Natalie: Mr. Who?

Megan: Mr. Renfro, our psychology teacher.

Natalie: So that’s Renfro. (The girls nod with a collective sigh.)

Jessica: Yep. (punctuated with a sigh as she continues to speak) Isn’t he…

Precious: (finishing Jessica’s statement) dreamy?

Chelsea: Super dreamy.

Tia: (in a trance like state) Um Huh.

Kim: (pulls out a mirror) How do I look? 

Alyssa: Good

 Kate: (boasting) Not as good as me. (Preening) Nobody looks as good as I do.

 Hannah: Now wait a minute!

(The other girls are about to challenge her statement when Cole interrupts.)

Cole:  You girls need to get a grip.

Livie: Let’s go talk to him before someone else gets him. (The girls nod and migrate toward Renfro. He greets them warmly.)

Renfro: (smiling broadly) Hello Ladies. You all look lovely tonight. (Each girl reacts as if he was speaking only to her. Cole, Clay and Kelsey are disgusted by what they hear and see.)

Cole: (extremely frustrated) I just don’t get it. What does he have that we don’t have?

Clay: (echoing Cole’s frustration) Girls! Lots of girls

(Cole nods as the scene shifts to Kelsey and Austin.)

Kelsey (to Austin): Would you look at Renfro? (Austin has been talking to another male guest while Kelsey has been watching the girls and Renfro.)

Austin: (shifting his attention to Kelsey) What’s going on?

Kelsey: (shaking her head) He’s such a jock, has to be the center of attention wherever he goes.

Austin: Is he the guy you’ve been telling me about, the one who’s been bothering you?

Kelsey: (with abject scorn) Oh, he doesn’t bother me.

Austin: No, you sure spend a lot of time talking about him if he doesn’t bother you.

Kelsey: He just gets under my skin the way he acts.

Austin: Yeah, I know. I’ve heard it enough. “Renfro is such an arrogant know- it- all.”

Kelsey: Well, he is.

Austin: Now you say, “he’s such a jock.”

Kelsey: Well, he is.

Austin: I’m a jock too sweetie.

Kelsey: (exhibits an ascending irritation as she speaks) Yeah, but not like him. You don’t act all know it all or have to be the center of attention or hurl snide remarks at me every time you get a chance.

Austin: (charmingly as he takes her hand) The only thing that I know for sure is that I want to be the center of your attention. 

(Kelsey smiles, but laughter erupting from Renfro’s gaggle of girls spoils the moment. Kelsey huffs with irritation as she looks in Renfro’s direction. He looks in her direction just as she looks in his. He realizes that she is angry. He loves it. He lifts his glass as if to toast her. She turns away.)

Kelsey: (visibly angry) He makes me so mad! I think he did that on purpose just to spoil our moment.

Austin: (trying to calm her down) Aren’t you being just a little paranoid? (His question had the opposite effect from what he intended.)

Kelsey: (jerked her hand out of his) Paranoid. I’m not being paranoid. I have to work with that jerk every day. I can assure you that I’m not being paranoid.

Austin: (eyes popped wide) Okay! Okay! I’m sorry. I didn’t understand.

Kelsey: (still upset) You sure didn’t. Whose side are you on anyway? I’ve told you about him every day this semester. Did you think I was exaggerating?

Austin: (sticking his foot in his mouth) No, I just didn’t realize he made you this crazy.

Kelsey: (with folded arms and eyes popping with anger) So, now you think I’m crazy.

Austin: (at a loss) No, No I don’t think you’re crazy. I… (searching for the right words) I think he’s crazy and a jerk. (Seeing that he’s on the right track) And, I think, I ought to give him a piece of my mind.

Kelsey: (arms still folded, glancing in Renfro’s direction, her anger is diverted to him) Yeah, you should. 

Austin: (happy that he’s regained his place with her) Yeah, I should.

Kelsey: (gaze still locked on Renfro and the girls) Yeah, you should. 

Austin: (trying to seal his place in her affections) You know I’ll do anything for you sweetie.

Kelsey: (still locked on to Renfro) You would.

Austin: I would. 

Kelsey: (turning her attention to Austin) Why don’t you march on over there and tell Renfro to leave me alone.

Austin: (eyes popped wide) But!

Kelsey: But, what? You said that you’d do anything for me.

Austin: Yeah, but!

Kelsey: But what? Didn’t you mean it?

Austin: (seeing no way out, reluctantly answers) Ye..ah. I meant it.

Kelsey:  (pointing to Renfro) So, march right over there and give him a piece of you mind.

Austin: (looking in Renfro’s direction and swallowing hard) What do you want me to say?

Kelsey: Tell him to leave me alone. 

Austin: (rehearsing) Leave you alone.

Kelsey: Tell him to stop calling me “Little Miss Prom Queen”.

Austin: (rehearsing) Little Miss Prom Queen.

Kelsey: Tell him to stop making fun of me.

Austin:  (rehearsing) Stop making fun. (Kelsey pauses.) Is that it?

Kelsey: (thinking) I think so.

Austin: (rehearses) Leave you alone. No more Little Miss Prom Queen. No more making fun.  Are you sure that’s all.

Kelsey: Yeah, now go tell him. (Kelsey drags Austin toward Renfro. Almost there, Austin turns to retreat, as Renfro sees them. Kelsey grabs his arm and forces him back toward their destination. Renfro speaks first.)

Renfro: Well if it isn’t (enunciates every word) Little Miss Prom Queen. 

Kelsey: (angry) Don’t call me that!

Renfro: Weren’t you queen of your prom?

Kelsey: Yes, but

Renfro: So why shouldn’t I call you that?

Kelsey: Because you say it like it’s something awful, anyway that was a long time ago.

Renfro: (snidely) Trust me I can tell it was a long time ago. (The girls surrounding Renfro are very amused by the verbal sparring.)

Kelsey: There you go trying to be funny with one of your snide remarks.

Renfro: I was just stating the obvious. (The girls snicker)

Kelsey: Well, I have someone who wants to state the obvious with you. (Kelsey pulls Austin forward. He is obviously reluctant to confront Renfro.)

Renfro: (laughing) You’re right it is obvious that your friend can’t find any words to refute what I’ve said because it’s the truth.

Kelsey: (Urging him on) Austin don’t just stand there say something. (Austin looks at her and then Renfro., but is still silent.) Austin tell him what you came here to tell him.

Austin: (Spitting it out in spurts.) Don’t…call…her Little Miss Prom Queen.

Renfro: (smirking) Boy do I fill sorry for you brother.

Austin: Huh?

Renfro: Don’t worry after tonight I have a new name for her. I’m going to call her Cruella

Kelsey: (to Austin) Are you going to let him talk to me that way?

Austin: Of course not. (forcefully to Renfro) Don’t call my girlfriend Cruella.

Renfro: Okay, I’ll call her Beasty Girl

Kelsey: (adamantly) You will not call me Beasty Girl.

Renfro: I’ll call you anything I want to.

Austin: (adamantly) You will not call her Beasty Girl.

Renfro: (smirking) Brother, you need to cut yourself loose from this bossy chick. I could introduce you to one of these nice girls.

Austin: (with an expression of confusion) Huh? Don’t change the subject.

Renfro: (smirking) It’s obvious she’s got you whipped. Don’t you want to be man and stand on your own two feet?

Kelsey: (very angry) You can’t talk to him like that. Show him

 whose boss Austin!

Renfro: Yeah, show me whose boss Austin. Be a man and dump Beasty Girl.

Austin: (lets out a fretful huff) But I like Beasty Girl.

Kelsey: Austin!

Austin: (to Kelsey) You know what I mean.

Renfro: Yeah, we all know what you mean. You like being bossed around by Beasty Girl.

Kelsey: No he doesn’t. I don’t do that! (demandingly) Tell him Austin. I don’t do that.

Austin: (Compliantly) She doesn’t do that. 

Renfro: (sarcastically) Noooo, she doesn’t do that. (All the girls laugh. Kelsey is furious.)

Kelsey: (Yells in frustration) Do something Austin!

Austin: Uh sure. Look you!

Renfro: (correcting him) Renfro

Austin: Huh?

Renfro: (pointing to himself as he corrects Austin) My name is Renfro. You should have said, Look Renfro! Now would you like to begin again?

Kelsey: (irate and motioning to Austin) See that’s what I have to put up every day.

Austin: (upset) Look you.

Renfro: (shakes his head and points to himself again) Uh, uh, uh Renfro, (Austin stops and glares at him. Renfro decides to have fun. He points to himself.) Me Renfro (points to Austin) you whipped puppy dog. (The girls laugh.)

(Austin is humiliated and incensed. He looks at Kelsey, who is visibly upset, after which he looks back at Renfro.)

Kelsey: Don’t just stand there Austin! Do something! (She pushes him toward Renfro. Renfro has been holding a glass of coke throughout the conversation. As Austin bumps into Renfro, the glass of coke is dashed over Kelsey. Kelsey lets out a giant, yell of frustration. The girls and Renfro laugh as Austin comes to Kelsey’s assistance as he dabs at the coke with a napkin. As Kelsey yells at Renfro, Professor Conway intervenes.)

Professor Conway: What is going on over here?  (Kelsey is trying to clean herself up.)

Renfro: Miss Huston had an accident sir.

Kelsey: (outraged) It was no accident sir. Renfro did it on purpose.

Renfro: It was an accident sir. Miss Huston’s date bumped into me.

(Professor Conway frowns skeptically. Natalie, one of the girls surrounding Renfro intervenes.)

Natalie: Professor Conway, it was an accident. I saw the whole thing.

Professor Conway: Aren’t you Miss Houston’s roommate?

Natalie: Yes sir.

Kelsey: (making commentary under her breath) My traitorous roommate.

Professor Conway: Miss Houston I am well aware of the dysfunctional relationship that exists between Mr. Renfro and yourself. I would have thought that you two would have had good sense to stay away from each other when you are not at work.

Kelsey: (reluctantly rebuffed) Yes sir

Professor Conway: I certainly didn’t expect you to create a scene at my home.

Kelsey: (repentant) I’m sorry Professor Conway. 

Professor Conway: Thank you and I will expect you in my office first thing in the morning.

Kelsey: (reluctantly) Yes sir.  (Renfro snickers.)

Professor Conway: You too Mr. Renfro. I’m not convinced that you are guiltless in this matter.

Renfro: (submissively) Yes Sir

Professor Conway: I expect both of you to be on your best behavior for the remainder of the party.

Kelsey: Yes sir.

Renfro: Of course sir.

Professor Conway: May I suggest you go to opposite parts of the room and stay away from each other.

Renfro and Kelsey: (nod agreement as they utter) Yes Sir.

Professor Conway: If you will excuse me, I’ll get back to the rest of my guests.

Renfro: Of course sir, we’ll be fine.

(Kelsey nods. Professor Conway returns to the rest of his guests. Once he walks away, Renfro takes a verbal jab at Kelsey.)

Renfro: Okay Beasty Girl, which part of the room do you want to occupy?

Kelsey: I wouldn’t want to deprive you of the spotlight. I’ll leave it all to you and go home.

Renfro: I wouldn’t want you to do something that nice. I’ll leave so you can mingle. Maybe, being around (looking at Austin) normal people will help you develop some social skills.

Kelsey: (very slowly with great conviction) Trey Renfro I hate you!

Renfro: (smiling, as he tweaks her chin) The feeling is mutual Beasty Girl. (Kelsey is steaming mad, as she swaps his hand away.) Come on ladies. We’ll find somewhere less beastly to carry on our conversation.

(Renfro begins his exit, as Kelsey reacts under her breath. The girls who had surrounded him trek along behind him. Natalie is bringing up the rear when Kelsey grabs her by the arm.)

Kelsey: (obviously upset) Not you, I want to talk to you.

Natalie: (resisting) We’ll talk later.

Kelsey: (refusing to let go of her arm, and insisting) We’ll talk now!

Natalie: Come on Kelsey. He’s cute. You didn’t tell me he was so cute.

Kelsey: (adamantly) He’s not cute. He’s revolting.

Natalie: Not to me.

Kelsey: Trust me. You’ll thank me later.

Natalie: I don’t think so. He likes me.

Kelsey: He likes himself more.

Natalie: (thoughtfully) I can understand that.

Kelsey: You have to be kidding. What’s wrong with you?

Natalie: Nothing. He’s a good looking guy. I like him and he likes me.

Kelsey: But, you’re my best friend. You can’t like him.

Natalie: But, I do.

Kelsey: (in emotional pain) Noooo. You can’t be my roommate and like him. Make up your mind it’s him or me.

Natalie: (deadpan) I’ll move out tomorrow. (Kelsey stands wide-eyed and open mouthed as Natalie exits after Renfro.)

Kelsey: (demoralized) I can’t believe my best friend prefers Renfro over me.

Austin: (moving toward her and putting his arm around her) Cheer up sweetie you still have me.

Kelsey: (giving him a stern look) We’ll I’m not too happy with you either.

Austin: (confused) What did I do?

Kelsey: You know what you did.

Austin: I do.

Kelsey: You let Renfro walk all over you and me.

Austin: I did not.

Kelsey: You did too. You should have hit him.

Austin: Not at Professor Conway’s party.

Kelsey: I’m not sure that you would do it anywhere.

Austin: So let me get this straight, you want me to beat this guy up. (Kelsey nods.) I thought you wanted me to give him a piece of my mind.

Kelsey: The only thing that he’ll understand is violence.

Austin: (trying to be cute and romantic)  But I’m a lover not a fighter.

Kelsey: (not amused) I bet you think that’s funny.

Austin: (honestly) It’s a little funny.

Kelsey: I don’t think it’s funny at all. I’m being serious and you’re making jokes.

Austin: (in disbelief) You really are serious about me beating Renfro up.

Kelsey: I am.

Austin: You have to be kidding.

Kelsey: I’m not kidding.

Austin: And what if I don’t beat him up?

Kelsey: (Adamantly) It’s either him or me. Make your choice.

Austin: Kelsey!

Kelsey: (arms folded, mind made up) I mean it. Beat him up or we are through.

(Austin amazed, stands and looks at her.) Go on make up your mind.

Austin: I guess we are through. (He begins his exit.)

Kelsey: (shocked) Austin.

Austin: (over his shoulder) See you around Beasty Girl. (He passes Natalie as she comes back in.)

Natalie: Where’s Austin going?

Kelsey: (sharply) I don’t know and I don’t care.

Natalie: (realizing that something is up) Okay.

Kelsey: What are you doing back? Where’s lover boy?

Natalie: He left without me. I guess he didn’t like me as I thought. 

Kelsey: I guess that means you want to continue to be my roommate.

Natalie: Yes, please and best friend.

Kelsey: I’ll think about it.

Natalie: (pleading) Come on. We’ve been best friends since kindergarten.

Kelsey: Something that slipped your mind earlier, huh.

Natalie: Come on Kelsey. You have Austin. I wanted a boyfriend of my own.

Kelsey: Not Renfro.

Natalie: Okay not Renfro. So am I forgiven?

Kelsey: I guess. (Natalie smiles. She is very happy.) By the way, I don’t have Austin.

Natalie: Oh, that’s what I walked in on.

Kelsey: Yeah

Natalie: What happened?

Kelsey: Like you, he chose Renfro over me.

Natalie: (with great confusion and shock) Austin likes Renfro too!

Kelsey: No. He wouldn’t beat Renfro up for me.

Natalie: Of course not. Kelsey I’m worried about you.

Kelsey: Why?

Natalie: I never knew you were so violent.

Kelsey: Violence is the only thing Renfro understands.

Natalie: (Grabs Kelsey and shakes her) Who are you and what have you done with my best friend Kelsey?

Kelsey: Stop shaking me.

Natalie: Not until you come to your senses.

(Kelsey catches a glimpse of Professor Conway walking towards them.)

Kelsey: Oh no! Here comes Professor Conway again. (Natalie switches tactics. She is patting Kelsey on the back as if she’s choked.)

Professor Conway: Is everything all right over here?

Natalie: (still patting Kelsey on the back as if choked) Something went down the wrong way. She’ll be all right.

Kelsey: (Stopping Natalie) Yes, Sir I’m all right. 

Professor Conway: Good. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get back to my guest. I’ll see you in the morning Miss Houston.

Kelsey: Yes, sir, first thing in the morning. (Professor Conway goes back to his guests. Kelsey watches and wait until he is out of ear shot.) Come on. Let’s leave before something else happens.

Natalie: I’m with you.  

Kelsey: (glimpsing Renfro entering the room.) Oh no.

Natalie: What?

Kelsey: (nodding toward Renfro) Renfro’s back.

Natalie: Do you think he came back for me?

Kelsey: If he did, he’s going to get something he didn’t expect.

Natalie: What do you mean?

Kelsey: Follow me.

Renfro: (as they approach him) Hello Beasty Girl. (Looking about) Where’s your puppy dog?

Kelsey: (With great consternation, she shoves him forcefully.) Leave me alone! (Trey falls into a group of guests that includes Professor Conway.)

Natalie: (As she and Kelsey hurry out the door) Sorry!

(Trey is on the floor and the guests are reacting to the situation as the curtain closes.)

Act I Scene 2

 Dr. Conway’s office

Renfro is seated at an assistant table on the right side of the stage and Kelsey has an assistant table to his right, There is about eight feet between them and located to Kelsey’s far right is Dr. Conway’s office. Renfro arrives first and sits at his table as Kelsey enters. She must pass his table to get to hers.

Renfro: (as she passes) Good morning Miss “Hit and Run”.

Kelsey: (nastily) Good morning Mr. “I enjoyed seeing you on the floor.”

Renfro: (smirking) I under estimated you Beasty Girl.

Kelsey: (curtly) So… we’re back to Beasty Girl.

Renfro: (sarcastically) Yeah, I kind of like it the best.

Kelsey: (emphatically) Well, I don’t, so you had been quit calling me that or…

Renfro: (cuts her off) Or what? (Cocks his head and makes fun.)You’ll push me out of my chair.

(Dr. Conway enters.)

Dr. Conway: (as he is taking things out of his brief case) I’d  like to see both of you please.

(Renfro and Kelsey make their way to chairs by his desk.) 

Dr. Conway: As usual, I heard you bickering as I came in.

Kelsey: Sorry Sir, but Renfro persists in calling me names.

(Dr. Conway gives Renfro a stern, disapproving look. Renfro looks away so he can pretend not to notice.)

Dr. Conway: That is no way for my two best graduate students in psychology to act. I don’t get it.

Renfro: Get what sir?

Dr. Conway: (sighing before he speaks) I don’t get how you can know so much about psychology and act so immature and dysfunctional around each other.

Renfro: Maybe, it’s psychological warfare.

Dr. Conway: Maybe, but I can tell you for sure that it’s degree suicide.

Kelsey: (eyes popped wide in distress) Sir…

Dr. Conway: I refuse to make it possible for two such dysfunctional individuals to receive graduate degrees in psychology.

Renfro: Doc you can’t be serious.

Dr. Conway: I most certainly am serious.

Kelsey: Does that mean you are pulling our assistantships?

Dr. Conway: I might.

Kelsey: You might!

Renfro: So what would keep you from doing that?

Dr. Conway: You would have to prove to me that you are the capable graduate assistants that I thought you were when I chose you.

Kelsey: How do we do that sir?

Dr. Conway: You could begin by treating each other with more courtesy and respect.

Kelsey: (frowning) I could do that.

Renfro: Me too.

Kelsey: Yeah right.

Renfro: I can if you can.

Kelsey: (Curtly) Well, I can.

Dr. Conway: I’m not sure either of you can, but you had better try. (Both nod okay) There’s more.

Renfro; More?

Dr. Conway: A lot more.

Kelsey: (looking at Renfro first and then Dr. Conway) Okay, what else sir?

Dr. Conway: I am giving both of you a special assignment. 

Renfro: (repeating) a special assignment

Dr. Conway: (nods and continues) I’m giving you a project where you will have to try to change the inner person in order to change the outer person.

Kelsey: (confused) Sir

Dr. Conway: Each of you will be assigned a person to work with, a dysfunctional person.

Renfro: (repeating) a dysfunctional person.

Dr. Conway: A quite challenging dysfunctional person.

Kelsey: (inquiring) Both of us.

Dr. Conway: Both of you. A colleague of mine has two dysfunctional clients that he is having difficulty helping. I suggested to him that someone closer to their ages might best resolve their problems. He agreed so I am assigning the task to you.

Kelsey: Huh?

Dr. Conway: (looking first at Kelsey and then at Renfro) Miss Houston you will counsel th

Reverse Psychology or Beasty Girl

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